Lotta people are saying he wasn't even born here. All I'm asking is if he IS a real American, why haven't we seen his birth certificate? Just asking questions here...

Yes, with a nice bowl of tomato soup.

I'm lactose intollerant and even I can confirm this.

Sounds like a commie spy!

What if the cheese is Brie?

They basically say that Jesse Waters is their Jon Stewart, I was describing a Jordan Kleper bit for my conservative father and he was like "yeah that's just like what Jesse Waters does" my reply was "yeah except that Jordan Kleper is actually funny and not an absolute piece of shit."

Well he does sound like an authority on crime. Committing them.

No one remembers Chris Simcox, of the anti-immigrant hate group called the Minutemen.

He is serving an effective life sentence for repeatedly raping his own child. When he got Fox news famous there were already accusations against him from his multiple ex-wifes.

He planned to represent himself and cross his own daughter in the stand and they had to change the procedures in his state just for him.

The mundane nature of the offense actually makes it more terrifying. My final night of marriage, he raged because I was too morning sick to go out as planned and leave the house to him. It didn't stop him from doing what he wanted, I was just going to go to bed after feeding my toddler.

It's so mundane an offense, that you feel stupid telling anyone. Even having lived through it, sometimes I have a hard time believing it.

One time he almost drove us off the freeway because I knew more about genetics than he did. I had a degree relating to the field and he had once watched a documentary on it.

And he raged because I hung up the phone when he got home. He was convinced my friend Jackie was actually Jack (names changed) and accused me of cheating. He knew I talked to Jackie at least once per week because we were working on a project together.

There was a Microsoft profile picture named Jack that he was convinced was the man I was cheating on him with. I couldn't convince him otherwise, even after showing him it was in a file with other profile pics. He got a secret vasectomy to try to catch me cheating.

Spoiler: I was not cheating. I didn't get pregnant again until he got a reversal. Guess who was cheating and gave me an STI?

They really don't care. They either can't afford to realize their sycophants are abusers because then they'd have to take a hard look at their own beliefs, or they think being abusive is a feature, not a bug.

I'm just amazed that he had a landline.

No, that for sure is their best.

I don't know about that.

If you have been to jail recently, I wish they served grilled cheese. Especially with 3 slices of cheese.

Open-face tomato sauce melt:

Ultimate Grilled Cheese Sandwich:

2 lb block of cheese
2 slices of white bread (optional)

............. consume

I bet that's one gouda grilled cheese