this post was submitted on 30 Jan 2024
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Microblog Memes

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[–] [email protected] 323 points 10 months ago (8 children)

"Day 33: Problematic symptoms developing in Patient X. Current fluctuations from the implant are causing unwanted signals in the somatosensory cortex. The patient is expressing aggressive behavior as a result, presumably due to the interference of the implant on normal sensory function. It is unknown what is causing the fluctuations.

Day 45: Patient X sedated following a violent outburst that injured a staff member. fMRI scans indicate an uptick in activity in the premotor cortex compared to the previous scan four days ago. Patient X not responding well to the Brain-Computer Interface. Violent aggression may not be consciously controllable.

Day 46: Patient X escaped Secure Room Alpha. Lockdown initiated. Quarantine measures are now in effect. There is a loud banging on the lab door. This might be my last journal entry. Before I leave this Earth, please let the shareholders know I created value for them."

[–] [email protected] 122 points 10 months ago (4 children)

i remember rightwingers, the same who praise elon musk lately, screamed for months about implanting chips during covid vaccinations. oh the irony.

[–] [email protected] 90 points 10 months ago (1 children)

And that wasn't even real. They howled about a fake scenario, and then praise the actual event happening.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

large number of conservative/rightwing blabbering about others, pointing fingers and blaming various imagionary boogiemen, with time somehow manages to endup as their projection. it's becoming a rule.

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[–] [email protected] 85 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Security Log day 42: Our request for a proper security door was denied. “Just buy a master lock, it’s cheaper” was the reply.

Oh well, I’ll make something work. Right after my quick meeting with HR.

[Last log entry]

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[–] [email protected] 79 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Sci-Fi Author: In my book I invented the Torment Nexus as a cautionary tale

Tech Company: At long last, we have created the Torment Nexus from classic sci-fi novel Don't Create The Torment Nexus

[–] [email protected] 27 points 10 months ago (2 children)

That especially applies to Elon, who claimed that Douglas Adams inspired his dream of creating an AI. The same Douglas Adams that only wrote about AIs that were faulty, assholes or both.

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[–] [email protected] 33 points 10 months ago (1 children)

June 9th: Of the original four dozen, over 75% are now deceased. Strangely, no clear patterns have emerged as of yet.

Batch 5 seems to have no common discernible effect on any specific group though the men seem slightly more resilient than the women.

June 18: And only five left now. Two men and three women.

The man in room five is a fascinating case. Physically, there doesn't seem to be anything wrong with him. No cellular anomalies, nothing.

December 24th: I was in the mess. It was about half past ten when we heard the first explosion.

The ones at the front ran straight into the gas. It was horrible.

It was the man in room five. I couldn't have known. The chemical supplies, grease solvents, ammonia, fertilizer. He'd been making things with them.

Mustard gas... And napalm.

And in the yard, I saw him. He had the flames behind him. He was naked.

He looked at me...

As if I were an insect. Oh god. As if I were something mounted on a slide.

He looked at me.

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 10 months ago

The device looks like it was chewed by a wild animal parts of the board is missing but you may be able to recover some data...

Day 1 mission log: We have arrived at the lab to try and figure out why the scientists have ceased communication. We found the door damaged and pried open. There is a broken loader out in front of the lab. we are setting up a perimeter.

Day 2: We were woken in the very early morning to the sounds of something large in the bush. We heard a scream and upon investigation Johnson was ripped apart and partially eaten. we have implemented a more strict watch schedule.

Day 3: we have finally managed to enter the lab. We lost Johansen and Richardson last night. Hopefully we can figure out what happened and what is out here.

---Data corruption detected---

Day 7: Mother of god there was blood everywhere. doors ripped open, bodies and body parts everywhere. There are runes drawn in blood on the walls. There is some sort of device that is projecting a shimmering portal, I'm going to investigate it more and try to find my missing team members...


Unable to recover any more files, CRC check sums have failed, data corruption 98% ---

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[–] [email protected] 174 points 10 months ago (8 children)

Imagine voluntarily granting an advertising company direct access to your brain.

[–] [email protected] 47 points 10 months ago (5 children)

I can imagine for people who are disabled this is super exciting stuff.

[–] [email protected] 57 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I can imagine for people who ~~are~~ want to be disabled this is super exciting stuff

Fixed that for you.

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[–] [email protected] 57 points 10 months ago (15 children)

I work with a lot of disabled people and while obviously my sample size isn't large enough to write a paper, the ones capable of understanding consent all think this is a terrible, terrible idea.

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[–] [email protected] 40 points 10 months ago

Disable AdBlock or we'll disable you again.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 10 months ago (8 children)

“I can finally walk, but I really enjoy the bold rich flavor of PrimeCorp nutrition bar.”

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 10 months ago (5 children)

This kind of emerging technology preys upon those people's hopes of living a normal life again. I just recently saw a YouTube video of people who got implants to cure blindness (with a glasses-like device to bridge the gap) and once the company that produces them went out of business they ceased support for their units that were inevitably going to fail as all hardware does.

Elon Musk and Neuralink is no different. They're rushing this tech to market and they know it. High likelihood of it becoming abandonware, but improving the lives of their patients was never the goal. Making money is the goal.

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[–] [email protected] 131 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (8 children)

Has anyone a TL;DR why they could do that? Last time I heard anything about Neuralink they were mass killing animals with botched implants.

[–] [email protected] 122 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Enough animals died. Now humans have their turn

[–] [email protected] 67 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 27 points 10 months ago

Username checks out

[–] [email protected] 77 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Do we have any concrete evidence that he’s even telling the truth? Something other than a tweet on a platform he owns? He seems to lie often.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

Smells a lot like "Funding secured" or any of the other insane promises he's made.

There's the hyper loop, the cyber truck missing deadlines and quality concerns and range lies, all of the Tesla delays, etc

That said they did FDA approval for human trials last May https://www.reuters.com/science/elon-musks-neuralink-gets-us-fda-approval-human-clinical-study-brain-implants-2023-05-25/

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[–] [email protected] 38 points 10 months ago (1 children)

FDA had denied, company presumably made some sort of changes that were not publicized (or paid off the right people), FDA approved.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (6 children)

If you’ve ever dealt with getting a medical device approved by the FDA, you’d know they don’t fuck around. They’re so hardcore it’s scary.

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[–] [email protected] 108 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Just recently I was reading about blind people who got experimental eye implants several years ago. They're having serious problems now because the company stopped supporting the implants.

https://spectrum.ieee.org/bionic-eye-obsolete

[–] [email protected] 34 points 10 months ago

All implanted medical device firmware should be Free Software.

https://youtu.be/k2FNqXhr4c8

[–] [email protected] 29 points 10 months ago (8 children)

...how. I make plastic medical devices and I need to support them for 10 years by law, since that is considered "lifetime" for it. How is a company not supporting them before the lifetime of the product (i.e. before they need to take them out) and gets away with it?

[–] [email protected] 25 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

If your company goes bankrupt before 10 years is up, what happens?

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[–] [email protected] 91 points 10 months ago (24 children)

Do people think this is new? We have been able to do this for decades. I'm a lowly PhD student and even I get to work with humans whose brains we are actively recording from (although I don't put the electrodes in there myself).

Just another instance of Muskrat talking about things he doesn't know. I used to think he was a genius when he was talking about rockets, then he started talking about things I know (neuro & AI)...

[–] [email protected] 27 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Elon never invents anything new. He finds a complex concept, scuffs off at it's complexity and announces it's actually really simple. Creates company that over-simplifies things.

Sometimes his project fails enough times that it starts working (space x).

[–] [email protected] 28 points 10 months ago

He has so much money that he can keep doing it. And hire the best in the field - there's no money in academia so of course they'll go. And then he'll take credit for their hard work eventually of course.

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[–] [email protected] 84 points 10 months ago (16 children)

Musk can't even make a proper ev why would anyone want a product of his in their brain.

[–] [email protected] 57 points 10 months ago (3 children)

When the patient dies Musk’s team will write a report saying it was the patient’s fault.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Look, he's all about free speech and free thought. But if people are going around using the wrong free speech and thinking the wrong free thoughts, they leave him no choice but to... Correct the problem. /s

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[–] [email protected] 83 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (4 children)

Oh shit, those logs were always like that too! Short and revealing, I always wondered who would write like that. Well here we are.

[–] [email protected] 37 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (3 children)

I've been thinking about it a lot as simply a literary tool and how hard it must be to come up with all the little notes and logs that just give the audience little glimpses and makes them piece the whole story together themselves, as opposed to simply telling a story in a more traditional way. It always feels like what we, the player, can see in the course of a game is miniscule compared to what they had written behind the scenes.

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[–] [email protected] 75 points 10 months ago (7 children)

I always find it weird when videogame do that, in writing even.

"the monster is at my door, i don't think i can get through this. Ohh shit the door is broken! The monster is charging at me! I love you, my dear wife, goodb"

Dude could've find a way out but instead he start to scribble down his thought in his journal.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 10 months ago (5 children)

Aren’t they usually transcriptions? I don’t remember any games off the top of my head where some scientist is actually typing their last thoughts out…

[–] [email protected] 33 points 10 months ago

Skyrim lol. Everyone seem to have the habit of tearing a page of their journal out and leave it at random place. Also Metro Exodus, you can find notes throughout the open area and some will have journal with the writer's final moment, like for example this.

I think there's more i can't recall, but some game do use transcript and even then i find those weird as heck, they all leave their transcript tape at random place as well.

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[–] [email protected] 46 points 10 months ago (1 children)

You need to buy Brain Lite subscription to be able to think.

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[–] [email protected] 45 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Who had Doom irl on their 2024 bingo card?

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[–] [email protected] 35 points 10 months ago (2 children)

The device allows you to directly post your thoughts on Xitter.

Wasn’t there a South Park episode that predicted exactly this? Didn’t they even call it Shitter?

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[–] [email protected] 33 points 10 months ago (4 children)

A lot of these types read sci-fi dystopia books and think, "yeah that would be really cool actually."

[–] [email protected] 34 points 10 months ago (1 children)

"I've created the Torment Nexus, from the sci-fi classic 'Don't Create the Torment Nexus'"

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[–] [email protected] 28 points 10 months ago (4 children)

Wanna bet he never gets one himself?

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 10 months ago (3 children)
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