120
submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[-] [email protected] 51 points 1 year ago

Critical support to any republican politician wanting to murder other republican politicians.

[-] [email protected] 34 points 1 year ago

Where is the "well of the senate?" It would be extremely funny if that were indoors.

[-] [email protected] 34 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

LMAO, IT'S AT THE FRONT OF THE SENATE CHAMBER. It's right in front of the raised desks where the senate leadership sits.

[-] [email protected] 32 points 1 year ago

The walls are stone so it's either gonna embed in the wall or bounce around, good luck to their seconds 🤣

[-] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

Catching strays in the hog-house.

porky-scared-flipped porky-scared

[-] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

LMFAO! Just business as usual while there's an ever darkening and expanding blood stain on the floor as the number of reps begins to dwindle.

[-] [email protected] 44 points 1 year ago

Please start literally killing each other, US politicians, I would pay for tickets to watch

[-] [email protected] 36 points 1 year ago

I hope they try to have a pistol duel with modern pistols lol

[-] [email protected] 37 points 1 year ago

two dudes bringing colt pythons in and vaporising their fingers down to the charred bone like a cool skeleton dude from a da share z0ne image, each and every round fired mercing a random person other than the other duelist.

[-] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago

Even better than Congressional baseball

[-] [email protected] 31 points 1 year ago

Whiny baby republicans have to bring a gun to win what should be a sword fight between gentlemen, Katanas only.

[-] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago

Nunchucks. Make it interesting and equally likely that they roll a natural 20 on a self-crit.

They could also reenact the "Shit! I hate it when my Schwartz gets twisted!" scene from Spaceballs, but on the blockchain.

[-] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

Sir, I'll have you know this is 'Murica.

[-] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

Flamethrower duel

[-] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Showing up with this bubba’d out Rsh-12

[-] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

My wrist hurts just looking at that

[-] [email protected] 34 points 1 year ago

Please please please I would be soooo happy.

[-] [email protected] 33 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

critical-support, but idk if I even need the critical qualifier, so just support ig

[-] [email protected] 32 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Didn't someone challenge Abraham Lincoln to a duel, and ol' Abe chose Broadswords as his weapon of choice? If I recall the coward backed down.

edit: found it!

The day of the duel, September 22, arrived and the combatants met at Bloody Island, Missouri, to face death or victory. As the two men faced each other, with a plank between them that neither was allowed to cross, Lincoln swung his sword high above Shields to cut through a nearby tree branch. This act demonstrated the immensity of Lincoln’s reach and strength and was enough to show Shields that he was at a fatal disadvantage. With the encouragement of bystanders, the two men called a truce.

Could be fun.

Add an addendum they are always held on Bloody Island, MO and call it tradition.

[-] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago

The only thing that would make it more unfair is if Abe suggested in epee. One lunge and the dude would be a donut.

[-] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Lots of people forget Abe was a fucking wrestler before getting into politics, man was fucking jacked

[-] [email protected] 31 points 1 year ago

Finally, the US government solves itself.

[-] [email protected] 28 points 1 year ago

Missouri's gonna party like it's 1839.

[-] [email protected] 28 points 1 year ago

no fuckin way lmfao

[-] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago

Preston Brooks, the pro-slavery Congressman who beat Charles Sumner, later got goaded into challenging abolitionist Anson Burlingame to a duel. Thing is Burlingame as the challenged got to pick the weapons and venue. Anson was an expert marksman so he picked rifles, so Brooks wussed out.

[-] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago

There’s an alleyway in my city famous for having been a dueling spot. it’s near a bunch of bars and people piss all over it due to the lack of public restrooms. This being the south I assume all of the dumbasses who died there deserved it.

[-] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago

I’ve been a legalize dueling guy for over a year now. I’m glad my policy ideas are taken seriously.

[-] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago

“The hour of High noon” is such a funny way to make the time fluctuate seasonally and confuse the duelers.

Also weapon of choice means they are gonna shoot rifles/swords

[-] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

Please duel but with modern weapons now. No more squinting to aim and hoping the powder isn't wet, just fully loaded Glock 18's now please

[-] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

12 paces and a 50BMG.

[-] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

i want this tho

[-] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Critical support for politicians landing critical hits on each other

[-] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago
[-] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago
[-] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

I'm gettin satisfied.

this post was submitted on 26 Jan 2024
120 points (100.0% liked)

chapotraphouse

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