this post was submitted on 15 Dec 2023
382 points (96.8% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

26772 readers
3730 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
all 48 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 90 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Use my own condom because I’d never trust a crazy woman to not have tampered with them

[–] [email protected] 72 points 11 months ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 31 points 11 months ago

This keeps getting better.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago

Oh! Then never mind, then

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

It turn out she has a hug strap on.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

You don't need condoms for a strap on kiddo. Buckle up.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 11 months ago

no woman who have a hello kitty condom is crazy

[–] [email protected] 71 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I don't want eyes anymore, thank you

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

I'll take them, just in a bag, thanks!

[–] [email protected] 68 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Whiskered for her pleasure.

Edit: I’m so sorry

[–] [email protected] 57 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 19 points 11 months ago

You're supposed to bounce her, not be a bouncer

[–] [email protected] 25 points 11 months ago

Step femboy, what are you doing?

[–] [email protected] 24 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Say いいね and pound that pompompurin

[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (2 children)

It always bothered me when folks injected out of context Japanese and provided no explanation, but now I know some Japanese, so for the other folks here like me.

いいね is pronounced i-i-ne and translates to something like "nice".

The comment below わかりました is pronounced wa-ka-ri-ma-shi-ta and translates to something like "I understand".

And finally a note to the Japanese injectors. Almost no one likes when you inject Japanese out of context. If you are a student studying Japanese and inject it in context people would enjoy it more.

I accept my down votes if my observations are incorrect, have a nice day.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

わかりました

[–] [email protected] 21 points 11 months ago

Always finish on the bach, never on debussy.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 11 months ago

As long as she’s 18 I’d smash that shit hard.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 11 months ago

Evidently take your phone out and post a meme about it.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago (3 children)

What does baddie mean in this context?

[–] [email protected] 23 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

in the 1600s the adverb "bad" went from meaning "incorrect" to being an intensifier - "they wanted that badly" (meaning he wanted it very much, as opposed to his want being poorly formed).

This form of hyperbole has extended over the years and orphaned to a point where now the [they wanted that] part is inferred and we can refer to something as "badass" or "baddie", understanding subconsciously that is implied that it's an extender of wanting/liking something "a lot" ("badly").

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Villain, you know, like Sauron or Thanos. Imagine you're about to shag one of them and they pull out a kawaii jonny, WWYD?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

Statistical analysis says gods do not use condoms.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago

Ask if she's got a cinnamoroll one

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago

Ask if they're snug fit. I'm long and thin, like a pencil.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago (2 children)

100% chance she put a pin through those.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

Jokes on her I got a vasectomy.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

Jokes on him, I got an orchiectomy

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

Let's do it to it.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Ask if she wants the second one. If we're going to be girlfriend and girlfriend, we may as well wear matching ones.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago