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Anon gets a police visit (thelemmy.club)
submitted 1 day ago by to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works
25 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

My last insight of anons mind caused quite a controversy so I thought I'd share something mild.

all 25 comments

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[–] 1 point 13 hours ago

I bet it was extra virgin.

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    [–] 35 points 1 day ago (1 child)

    Sex stuff is just not that shocking to any emergency response worker

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    • [–] 62 points 1 day ago (12 children)

    "Fuck this" /taser

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  • [–] 63 points 1 day ago (7 children)

    “TASE ME HARDER DADDDY!”

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  • [–] 12 points 1 day ago (5 children)

    Actually harder to say in person. Source: self

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  • [–] 5 points 1 day ago (4 children)

    They’ll just have to piece together the intent behind my moaning screams.

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  • [–] 4 points 1 day ago (3 children)

    It's practically impossible to speak while you're being tased. You can make noises but those are mostly involuntary.

    Right after? You're fine and can do whatever. If it's your first time it takes a second to put together what happened.

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  • [–] 11 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 child)

    I tried squirting a cop with liquified butter in a squirt bottle, jacking off the bottle moaning till i blew. He pretty immediately reached for his taser. He announced he was gobs going to taser me. I had committed. There was air in the bottle and it didn’t come out when I squeezed it hard. Then other cops stripped me of my precious butter. Crazy story but yea they go right for the taser.

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    • [–] 43 points 1 day ago (2 children)

    Sanest anon

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    • [–] 16 points 1 day ago (1 child)

    I'm pretty sure this is very tame compared to what they actually deal with.

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    • [–] 22 points 1 day ago*

    This wouldn't even be close to some of the things some law enforcement workers have had to see. Arriving at violent crime scenes and having to confirm CSAM are just so much worse than whatever is going on in this greentext.

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    [–] 7 points 1 day ago (1 child)

    They finally arrested him, but at what cost?

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    • [–] 3 points 1 day ago

    What a way to celebrate yor cake day.

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