Florida man tells his daughter’s fiancé to collect a hundred foreskins before they can get married.
post
Florida Man kicked out of public garden after stealing apples from a protected tree.
Tells police his wife convinced him to do it after she had "taken bad advice from a snake".
Florida Man abducts two of every animal and shoves them in his homemade boat.
First read this as “shaves them” and didn’t remember that from the original story.
Florida man offers his daughters to angry mob to protect his buddy
Florida man turned pastor eaten by whale
I think it would be more correct to say Florida man tuned pastor after being eaten by whale.
Florida man lives in whale
Florida man claims wife is sister to entrap thirsty, high-ranking official. At least twice.
“Alabama man saved from Florida man’s entrapment because he couldn’t get it up.”
Florida man breaks quarantine to host gathering of people suffering from highly contagious disease.
Florida man splits a lake in two with a stick and guides tourists through it
"Florida man chops up his mistress after she's raped to death and mails the pieces to his friends"
WTF? I don't recall that one.
Levite's concubine. It's actually so fucked up that I had to tone down and oversimplify it to make it just barely fit into a "Florida man" headline.
Florida man claims bush talked to him after setting fire to it
The story of Lot is definitely set in Florida.
Before bedtime, Florida Men both young and old and from every part of Sodom surrounded Lot’s house. They called to Lot, “Where are the two men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us so we can have sexual relations with them.”
Also
One day the older daughter said to the younger, “Our father is old. Everywhere on the earth Florida Women and Florida Men marry, but there are no Florida Men around here for us to marry. Let’s get our father drunk and have sexual relations with him. We can use him to have children and continue our family.”
Florida man harasses bitcoin traders at prosperity gospel church, sentenced to death
I find this really triggering. This is cultural appropriation of the worst kind.
I think you might need to explain.
Are you upset that I’m mocking the Bible?
No, no. You are appropriating Florida man lore.
I betcha wouldn't go doing Minnesota Nice jokes around.
BTW, I don't need to explain myself. I might be kind enough to do it, but I am under no obligation.
Oh, and I only answer to god. (lower case g, in case this needs explaining too).
Florida Man says he is a ghost, and God.
Florida Man denies claiming he's a ghost and a god but expects you to say it
Florida man genuinely did nothing wrong but the world seems to detest him; friends convinced that it's his own fault
Florida Man completely debilitated after mullet cut off. Files for Disability.
Florida man smacks pet talking donkey, talking donkey explains that it was trying to tell him about the/an invisible angel of death blocking their path.
Florida man besieged by local mob, suggested they rape his virgin daughters instead of his dinner guests.
Florida man harassed by local children for his baldness, summons bears, 42 children killed.

top 50 comments