"Florida Man commands people sell their possessions and follow him into the hills swamps"

"Florida Man puts mud into blind person's eyes."

"Florida Man Found in giant box with animals from the zoo after surviving the huricane. 40 days at sea."

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[–] 79 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Florida man tells his daughter’s fiancé to collect a hundred foreskins before they can get married.

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  • [–] 54 points 2 weeks ago* (1 child)

    Florida Man kicked out of public garden after stealing apples from a protected tree.

    Tells police his wife convinced him to do it after she had "taken bad advice from a snake".

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  • [–] 42 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

    Florida Man abducts two of every animal and shoves them in his homemade boat.

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  • [–] 41 points 2 weeks ago (1 child)

    Florida man offers his daughters to angry mob to protect his buddy

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    [–] 31 points 2 weeks ago

    Florida man claims wife turned into (bath) salts

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  • [–] 31 points 2 weeks ago

    Florida Man Curses Fig Tree for Refusing to Bear Fruit Out of Season

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  • [–] 28 points 2 weeks ago

    Florida man distributes bootleg wine to crowd.

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  • [–] 26 points 2 weeks ago (7 children)

    Florida man turned pastor eaten by whale

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  • [–] 12 points 2 weeks ago* (6 children)

    I think it would be more correct to say Florida man tuned pastor after being eaten by whale.

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  • [–] 19 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

    Florida man claims wife is sister to entrap thirsty, high-ranking official. At least twice.

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    [–] 18 points 2 weeks ago

    Florida man breaks quarantine to host gathering of people suffering from highly contagious disease.

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  • [–] 15 points 2 weeks ago

    Florida Man tell people to throw babies in Nile.

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  • [–] 14 points 2 weeks ago

    Florida man splits a lake in two with a stick and guides tourists through it

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  • [–] 14 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

    "Florida man chops up his mistress after she's raped to death and mails the pieces to his friends"

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  • [–] 14 points 2 weeks ago

    Florida Man has rib stolen, claims it turned into another person

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  • [–] 13 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

    Florida man claims bush talked to him after setting fire to it

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    [–] 12 points 2 weeks ago

    Florida man orchestrates subordinate's death so he can marry the widow

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  • [–] 12 points 2 weeks ago*

    The story of Lot is definitely set in Florida.

    Before bedtime, Florida Men both young and old and from every part of Sodom surrounded Lot’s house. They called to Lot, “Where are the two men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us so we can have sexual relations with them.”

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    One day the older daughter said to the younger, “Our father is old. Everywhere on the earth Florida Women and Florida Men marry, but there are no Florida Men around here for us to marry. Let’s get our father drunk and have sexual relations with him. We can use him to have children and continue our family.”

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  • [–] 11 points 2 weeks ago

    Florida man turns water into wine… in prison. With ketchup packets.

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  • [–] 10 points 2 weeks ago*

    Florida man harasses bitcoin traders at prosperity gospel church, sentenced to death

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  • [–] 9 points 2 weeks ago

    Florida man puts God in a headlock; demands blessing.

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  • [–] 9 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

    I find this really triggering. This is cultural appropriation of the worst kind.

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  • [–] [S] 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 child)

    I think you might need to explain.

    Are you upset that I’m mocking the Bible?

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  • [–] 8 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

    No, no. You are appropriating Florida man lore.

    I betcha wouldn't go doing Minnesota Nice jokes around.

    BTW, I don't need to explain myself. I might be kind enough to do it, but I am under no obligation.

    Oh, and I only answer to god. (lower case g, in case this needs explaining too).

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  • Florida man pranks friends by pretending to be dead for 3 days.

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  • [–] 7 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

    Florida Man says he is a ghost, and God.

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    [–] 7 points 2 weeks ago

    Florida woman cuts off foreskin of child, rubs it in Florida Man's feet.

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  • [–] 5 points 2 weeks ago*

    Florida man genuinely did nothing wrong but the world seems to detest him; friends convinced that it's his own fault

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  • [–] 5 points 2 weeks ago

    Florida Man completely debilitated after mullet cut off. Files for Disability.

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  • [–] 5 points 2 weeks ago

    FLORIDA MAN OVERDOSES ON ERGOT; CLAIMS TO SEE ZOMBIE GOD

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  • [–] 4 points 2 weeks ago

    Florida man caught hoarding animals in large boat

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  • [–] 4 points 2 weeks ago

    Florida Man attempts to hide evidence of corruption by flooding basement.

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  • [–] 3 points 2 weeks ago*

    Florida man smacks pet talking donkey, talking donkey explains that it was trying to tell him about the/an invisible angel of death blocking their path.

    Florida man besieged by local mob, suggested they rape his virgin daughters instead of his dinner guests.

    Florida man harassed by local children for his baldness, summons bears, 42 children killed.

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  • [–] 3 points 1 week ago

    Florida man drugged and sexually assaulted by his own daughters.

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  • [–] 2 points 2 weeks ago

    it kinda makes too much sense

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