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[-] cmbabul@slrpnk.net 50 points 1 month ago

John Daly just hasn’t been sober in 40 years and now his body processes alcohol faster than any blood test or breathalyzer to reliably detect.

[-] zurohki@aussie.zone 31 points 1 month ago

He looks like he once got arrested for waiting for a stop sign to turn green.

[-] WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world 20 points 1 month ago

When I was 18 I got pulled over for that actually. I got away with it because I told the cop I dropped my cigarette in my floorboard. Truth be told I was higher than bird pussy and was waiting for the green.

[-] dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 18 points 1 month ago

Nice.

bird pussy

The judges would also have accepted "giraffe balls" and "a kite".

[-] TheTechnician27@lemmy.world 2 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago)

What extant land animal, when standing upright on flat ground, has the highest testicles (measured from the lowest part of the testicle)? Is it actually a giraffe? Because it seems like it's a giraffe.

[-] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 month ago

You joke but my dad was the doc on some cases were the guy should have been dead from alcohol poisoning, according to modern medicine, and instead was driving with very little impediment. Mithridatisation really is a thing.

[-] ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

I had a coworker who got stopped for DUI at 3 AM and blew a .032. Somehow she was allowed to go home and was at work at 6:30 that same morning. Unremarkable except I'm a school bus driver, so she was driving kids three and a half hours after blowing a .032.

She was suspended and after two weeks she was allowed to resign, so she is presumably still driving kids somewhere else. The reason for this is we're unionized (Teamsters) and she was the shop steward, which made firing her very difficult. I've very pro-union but GOD DAMN there are some aspects to unions that just fucking suck.

[-] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 month ago

Yeah, that's a perversion of the union system. We've the same shit with doctors sometimes (in France). It's a shame because it's an easy win for opponents of the system.

[-] BucketBong@p.hobo.social 34 points 1 month ago

He distracts the cops with his pants and Jedi Mind tricks them into letting him go.

[-] Kellenved@sh.itjust.works 22 points 1 month ago

When you’re as rich as these fuckwads, why would you ever choose to drive?

[-] atomicbocks@sh.itjust.works 17 points 1 month ago

Some people can’t not be in control.

[-] daw@feddit.org 6 points 1 month ago

I can't not be in control!

Proceeds to abuse substances to the point of loosing control

[-] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 month ago

Because driving is fucking awesome! Just depends where you do it.

[-] grrgyle@slrpnk.net 3 points 1 month ago

Allow me to introduce you to bicycles, my friend

[-] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 month ago

Sure sure, bicycles are cute for a nice peaceful ride around a lake or across town, no worries. I used them regularly in Wuhan.

[-] grrgyle@slrpnk.net 4 points 1 month ago

I meant like the thrill of cycling v driving. The same straightaways and hills which seem so exciting on a bike just seem like more road from a car. Windows down helps a bit, but still not the same.

Might be more subjective than I thought though.

[-] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

You're right. Going biking in a group through a city I used to live in was wild in how much it changed my perspective on the city and made it feel fun and beautiful.

I'm glad I left that city but I miss those rides

[-] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 month ago

Ah no that is a fair point. Cycling speed let's you appreciate things at a different scale. It happened to me many times when living in Wuhan. Stuff that was just "blocks of buildings" on a bus suddenly became such and such shop or specific building. Happened to me in towns I lived in as a driver. Taking the bicycle to go drinking in the town center let me notice the architecture of individual building.

It's a different experience for sure, I find that each mode of moving around has pros and cons :)

[-] Unpigged@lemmy.dbzer0.com 22 points 1 month ago

If somebody told me 20 years ago that Lemmy Kilmister would outlive Whitney Houston and Michael Jackson, I would've laughed.

[-] WalleyeWarrior@midwest.social 20 points 1 month ago

Tiger would have more but California police have been very lenient with him over the years. He wrecked a car on pain pills a few years back and the police decided not to take a blood sample after the incident and said they couldn't prosecute him due to lack of evidence

[-] Glowstick@lemmy.world 16 points 1 month ago

They're both maga trump bootlickers, so i wouldn't be surprised if it was either one

[-] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 month ago

So you're saying they're rich knobs?

[-] VerilyFemme@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

It's easy to drive drunk if you do everything else drunk too.

[-] WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago
[-] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

this unironically worked for me until my supply ran out.

[-] baggachipz@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 month ago

Good ol’ boy network?

[-] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

wait fuck i saw his doppelganger the other day. Dude had gatorskin pants on and mexican pointy boots. looked sharp as fuck.

[-] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 month ago

That sounds like Alain Robert. Was your man free solo climbing a skyscraper, or perhaps a cliff in the south of France?

[-] FudgyMcTubbs@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

Daly. Thrilla the Gorilla is a dunce.

this post was submitted on 07 Jul 2026
351 points (98.6% liked)

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