70
holy shit Trump does NOT want to go to Don Jr.'s wedding
our nation's capital should a 2A freedom zone 🦅🇺🇸🫡
FBI gonna recover bullet casings with "DIE TRUMP!" written on them?
:sideshow-bob-tattoo:
What if it's not gunfire but just someone farting like that? Feel good about that now, "free" media?
There was this one time I was visiting DC and had some wicked BBQ beanis. Later that night I ripped a fart so powerful it set off the shot detectors. Just saw tons of cops and FBI just swarming the area minutes later and dry heaving in the lingering swamp gas left behind.
I was near an active shooter alert one time that turned out to have been someone dropping a barbell in the building's gym.
Wait that's fucking wild whaddahell
I can't find an article that reveals the punchline, but this was the incident.
Edit - Some of the other articles make sure to mention that the building in question also houses a gym, which I take as their best effort to get around military censorship.
Oh it's the weekend, another attempt.
don't bother waking me up until someone actually gets him
Seriously 🥱
Has any other president had so many assassination attempts? Who would have thought that something like this could happen so often that it gets boring? Also the assassin is either going to be a mossad plant or a radical centrist with a 500-page ai-written manifesto in his backpack talking about how much he respects the police.
it would be exceedingly funny if a comrade got him purely to stunt on the libs and chuds, leave a note that's just like "communists can aim"
Man in a Trump context this sounds exceedingly lib, but the tito quote still rules
If you don't stop sending killers, I'll send one to Moscow, and I won't have to send another.
there were kindof a lot in the 70s. i don't remember how many anarchists tried to get mckinley before they actually got him
I imagine Trump is on the phone with some jagoff totally unaware lmao
"keep it down, tv's on"
ow my balls is on! quiet!
Man, someone really hates the construction workers building the big beautiful ball room.
Substantiated by https://hexbear.net/post/8580349
Proceed in a chaotic fashion as fast as possible! Pushing and shoving is encouraged!
Probably secret service agents shooting at raccoons...
C’mon, y’all. We all know what these assassination attempts are about:
Ok now someone needs to do edits of political videos and Cervesta Crystal ads.
Definitely no reality being invented here
This article was published by the reporter in the video.
https://abcnews.com/US/white-house-lawn-cleared-after-apparent-gunshots/story?id=133257965
this post was submitted on 23 May 2026
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Chapotraphouse
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