spits out five year old sperm
Devastating news for the cum collection squads 😔
Let's put things into perspective here. The virus is not replicating in people's testes, it is not active, it has not integrated itself into the germline genome or any other cells in the testes (As evidenced by RNAse totally removing it from the sample), the person's immune response is not turned off (As shown by a persistent immune response). This is only possible because of immune privilege in the testicles.
Let's not blow this out of proportion just et.
like 90% of why I posted this was because I thought there'd be funny comments
Cool. Good.
check your immune privilege in the testicles, sweaty
Immune privilege is stored in the balls
sperm don't live for six years
Not with that attitude 
I think it’s like the dude who had Ebola in his eye, it can get inside the environment and stay there and the body’s immune system doesn’t follow it in. So, I guess, hantavirus is stored in the balls?
Immune privilege. You're talking about immune privilege. Sperm is immunogenic, if you took your own sperm and put it inside your body your body would react to it as a foreign body. So the testes get weird about the immune system. The eyes are also immune privileged, although not in the same way.
Okay whar about sperm in your eye
Also holy crap just looked immune privlidge up and the central nervous system is part of the group—is that why rabies can lurk for years and then crawl up your spine and kill you?
says you, i'm cultivating my most aged sperm like a taoist, so whenever i have a kid they're gonna be at least ten years old before they're even born. it's what any responsible pre parent would do
Will pair nicely with the microplastics floating around in there :)
2026 cum is shaping up to be an excellent vintage
Pre-war sperm had better terroir.
vaxxed?
The rat piss and shid disease is stored in the balls
The microplastics and hantavirus in my balls fighting to the death like the end of Nier: Automata
now where am I supposed to blast ropes??????
a sock?
like a dog?
A real man dry humps until he creams his pajamas, hands-free exercise of the gluteus maximus prepares you for true ascension into sigma-alpha territory... 
LUCID DREAMONIC BLASTING! 
The testes are known to act as a “safe harbour” for at least 27 infectious diseases, allowing some pathogens to live in the body and infect others years after the patient has recovered.
I'm sorry to say this, i really am, but unlimited orchiectomies on the entire world population are the only solution to this issue.
And to many other issues as well. Men cannot be trusted with their ball privileges and should have them revoked as a precautionary measure. Women mostly do not want them and should have the option.
Wish there was simply a way to make them switch from producing testosterone to estrogen, though.
Yeah, i can see the appeal of that. Although i gotta say, being fully in charge of my hormone levels is nice as well. And before my orchi, i would never have imagined that feeling the mere absence of something could feel so good and so right.
i would never have imagined that feeling the mere absence of something could feel so good and so right.
I feel this about my hysterectomy so much. It really shouldn't matter that much, but the relief I get from knowing it's not there is immense! The absence of a shitty organ we never needed is so awesome and super cool! I love the cool little ways transmasc and transfem experiences are mirrors of each other
Did you know that testes are named after the Greek hero Testicles (Pronounced Tes-ti-clese) who was renowned for his immense feats of strength involving his balls?
Forced fem on all mankind!!
Coming to Apple TV+, spring 2027
YOU HANTA BE KIDDING ME
I'll hanta your prostate for six years
unlimited sex bans on the cruise ship class 
theyll have to keep their cum grains to themselves 
Apparently cum itself is safe as long as you remove the balls, so this really isn't that big of a deal.
surely we can't steal the balls of everyone that steps on a cruise ship and put them all in a big heap... unless 
Apparently not up to but at least six years:
We demonstrate that the ANDV genome persists within the reproductive tract for at least 71 months.
Volcel police vindicated?
The VOLCEL POLICE are on the scene! PLEASE KEEP YOUR VITAL ESSENCES TO YOURSELVES AT ALL TIMES.
نحن شرطة VolCel.بناءا على تعليمات الهيئة لترويج لألعاب الفيديو و النهي عن الجنس نرجوا الإبتعاد عن أي أفكار جنسية و الحفاظ على حيواناتكم المنويَّة حتى يوم الحساب. اتقوا الله، إنك لا تراه لكنه يراك.
Hantma balls?
not much, what's hantma with you
Ahh at last I finally understand the plot of that cgi Final Fantasy movie, it was about this, but like an allegory
Man's didn't understand the geo-smegma
you heard the nerds. stop drinking rat piss cum, folks.
I can't produce sperm anymore, does that mean it's ok for me to play with rats?
Lesbians worldwide, "We are gods chosen people."
We knew the sperm had spider eggs- but the hantavirus?
Welcome to c/news! We aim to foster a book-club type environment for discussion and critical analysis of the news. Our policy objectives are:
To learn about and discuss meaningful news, analysis and perspectives from around the world, with a focus on news outside the Anglosphere and beyond what is normally seen in corporate media (e.g. anti-imperialist, anti-Zionist, Marxist, Indigenous, LGBTQ, people of colour).
To encourage community members to contribute commentary and for others to thoughtfully engage with this material.
To support healthy and good faith discussion as comrades, sharpening our analytical skills and helping one another better understand geopolitics.
We ask community members to appreciate the uncertainty inherent in critical analysis of current events, the need to constantly learn, and take part in the community with humility. None of us are the One True Leftist, not even you, the reader.
Newcomm and Newsmega Rules:
The Hexbear Code of Conduct and Terms of Service apply here.
Link titles: Please use informative link titles. Overly editorialized titles, particularly if they link to opinion pieces, may get your post removed.
Content warnings: Posts on the newscomm and top-level replies on the newsmega should use content warnings appropriately. Please be thoughtful about wording and triggers when describing awful things in post titles.
Fake news: No fake news posts ever, including April 1st. Deliberate fake news posting is a bannable offense. If you mistakenly post fake news the mod team may ask you to delete/modify the post or we may delete it ourselves.
Link sources: All posts must include a link to their source. Screenshots are fine IF you include the link in the post body. If you are citing a Twitter post as news, please include the Xcancel.com (or another Nitter instance) or at least strip out identifier information from the twitter link. There is also a Firefox extension that can redirect Twitter links to a Nitter instance, such as Libredirect or archive them as you would any other reactionary source.
Archive sites: We highly encourage use of non-paywalled archive sites (i.e. archive.is, web.archive.org, ghostarchive.org) so that links are widely accessible to the community and so that reactionary sources don’t derive data/ad revenue from Hexbear users. If you see a link without an archive link, please archive it yourself and add it to the thread, ask the OP to fix it, or report to mods. Including text of articles in threads is welcome.
Low effort material: Avoid memes/jokes/shitposts in newscomm posts and top-level replies to the newsmega. This kind of content is OK in post replies and in newsmega sub-threads. We encourage the community to balance their contribution of low effort material with effort posts, links to real news/analysis, and meaningful engagement with material posted in the community.
American politics: Discussion and effort posts on the (potential) material impacts of American electoral politics is welcome, but the never-ending circus of American Politics© Brought to You by Mountain Dew™ is not welcome. This refers to polling, pundit reactions, electoral horse races, rumors of who might run, etc.
Electoralism: Please try to avoid struggle sessions about the value of voting/taking part in the electoral system in the West. c/electoralism is right over there.
AI Slop: Don't post AI generated content. Posts about AI race/chip wars/data centers are fine.