The world may sometimes outpace our ability to keep up with it, but we are still here, and we are all catching up on the things we need to. Wishing you all another two weeks of the ability to rest, and - if possible - to catch up on the things that are important to you. Love you all <3
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"Disability" is an umbrella term which encompasses physical disabilities, emotional/psychiatric disabilities, neurodivergence, intellectual/developmental disabilities, sensory disabilities, invisible disabilities, and more. You do not have to have an official diagnosis to consider yourself disabled.
Mask up, love one another, and stay alive for one more week.
Happy International Transgender Day of Visibility to all our beautiful comrades.
Been dealing with another death in the family, along with other irl stuff. Have to say an obligatory Fuck Cancer, and I hope this week is kind to all of you. I'll be back soon.
Much love to all of you
The NHS strikes again. I had an ophthalmology appointment, meant to be last week but they cancelled last minute and changed it to today. Today I get there at 3pm for my appointment at 3,10pm, and sit there until 4.40pm at which point all the other patients have gone and I'm still being ignored. I asked the receptionist then what was going on and it turned out she hadn't booked me in correctly. The ophthalmologist was getting ready to leave, they had to call him back. They then rushed through a few basic tests as they didn't have time to do it all properly.
I passed all my tests but I'm not doing well, I keep reading the guide on how to treat patients with the disease the patient had.
I talked to two professionals about it, one says I should take a break from school for a semester or so to recenter myself and one says I need to man up because I can't be a doctor if I get this upset about losing patients.
You lost a patient, Keld, of course this is hard for you. Fuck the professional who said you "need to man up", what the fuck is this. Of course you feel responsible, of course it's hard to deal with this. But if you just try to soldier through this, it's not gonna get better. I think the other one is on to something with you taking a break. It would do you some good to be able to grieve and process your loss. It takes time to deal with these things, and it's not something you can just do in a day or two. Take some time, deal with it in a way that helps you, be kind to yourself and give yourself some grace. You need it
Its so exhausting trying to live in a system that is hostile to my brain
The NHS is an absolute shambles. They keep rearranging or cancelling my appointments. They've pushed back my ophthalmology appointment now, I've already been waiting about 2 years for this which is ridiculous as I'm meant to be seen regularly, several times a year.
I don't know whether this is good or bad, but I'm back to having actual, proper periods again. They stopped/slowed down to almost nothing, painless, hardly any blood and like three times a year, for like two years and I thought at first it was starvation causing it. Then I started getting food help on here, and after a few months of eating enough, they started again. Then they slowed/almost stopped again and I thought I was going through the menopause. After taking folic acid supplements for a brief time they started monthly again and now it's back to the full works, painful, heavy, with exhaustion and everything I used to get. It's very confusing, now I don't know why they stopped or why they're back. I thought taking folic acid triggered it but I had top stop taking that and the periods are getting heavier, not lighter. My body is just a confusing mess.
partner issues (gave up on disguising it), ableism(?). Journaling.
Someone close to me recently said in regards to interpersonal behavior "ok you have autism, get over it" knowing I'm autistic (lightly effected, probably audhd). It wasn't directed at me exactly but we're having some arguments and it wasn't not directed at me, if that makes sense. They can say things just to be mean when arguing and have admitted to bullying me.
They've also said they don't believe in "isms" anymore, and people just have their life circumstances. It's like a vulgar social model of mental illness/neurodivergence. The opposite of the individualized "chemical imbalance" approach. It seems just as flawed. This is all quite puzzling because it's new, and she's educated in both psychology and biology.
They're prone to motivated reasoning and i wonder if this helps them deny their own conditions. (They've been diagnosed with GAD in the past and everyone we know agrees anxiety negatively effects them) Recently they said they don't have disordered anxiety they just have a stressful life. But, for example, going to the grocery store, even with me so no one accosts her, is a stressful experience for them. My point that it "shouldn't be" didn't really land.
Recently they broke up with the other partner (also autistic) and I think this turn is related to that. Most in my circle think it was a callous and unnecessary move.
It's all very confusing. We have our first couples counseling appt v soon. They were reluctant to join sessions at first even though they've pushed me into therapy a lot, saying "I've been a saint in this relationship." Which, no. (I have sessions and have benefited from them, but idk if it's helpful when my partner is telling me what kind of work I should be doing in them and what I need to work on).
I don't say this lightly but they may have BPD? It's problematic of me to bring up, I'm no expert, but I shouldn't sell myself short. I'm just now considering it as a framework for understanding their behavior. I think letting them cause me to question my instincts (even though I've been accused of gaslighting!) is part of why we've had issues for so long. Everytime I talk to my support network for feedback they confirm my own feelings. I do my best to relay things objectively. Anyway, part of why it's problematic is bcuz they have a history of telling me I have various conditions or traits, with psychiatric language, Narcissism, psycho/sociopathy (can't remember which), ODD.
IDK, this is tough.
It's good you shared this and analyzed what's been going on. From what you say, I agree with your other relations; it doesn't sound like you're at fault for all of this. Whether it's BPD or not, your partner's behavior doesn't sound fair to you, and I think your instincts are right about this. It's never okay to dismiss other people's conditions, but it is concerning your partner doesn't believe their own conditions are real.
As to a solution, I don't have one, but I do think the couple's counseling is a good step. Take care of yourself 
Saying someone with a wheelchair is faking their disability because they can walk unassisted for brief distances is like sayng Mo Farrah is faking his athleticism by not running everywhere.
It's one thing if you are surprised to see someone get out of their wheelchair and walk a few steps, but it's another to claim they're not disabled because of it. I don't get people sometimes, and I'm honestly glad about it
I finally got an appointment for a consultation with the podiatrist to try and get back on the list for further surgery (as the problem is getting worse and more painful). They made me an appointment for the 9th April but now they have cancelled that and pushed it back to 29th April. Then if they put me back on the list I might have to wait months for the surgery. it's already getting painful to wear shoes again.
And people are still teasing me over mutual aid! I spoke on lemmy about the person who spent two months teasing me and someone in that thread offered assistance. I messaged to accept, and never heard back again even though he's been posting on there every day. Why are people like this?
And my landlady's daughter and grandkids are coming to visit in about 2 weeks, which is awful. They take over the whole house, the daughter is bossy, rude and unkind and she douses herself in so much perfume I get non-stop migraines.
Just when things start looking up a bit, you get this type of treatment again. It's just not fair, you deserve better
Thank you.
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