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submitted 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) by Chippys_mittens@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

If you don't agree with the concept of good or bad people, you dont have to answer just down vote. If you think a person is good or bad based on where they were born and live you don't have to answer just down vote.

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[-] Carrolade@lemmy.world 88 points 5 days ago

How do they treat those that are "beneath" them? Customer service workers, pets, kids, etc. Anyone that they should have some sort of authority over.

[-] Aqarius@lemmy.world 7 points 4 days ago

In addition, how quick they are to declare others to be beneath them.

[-] elephantium@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago

This and the shopping cart test tells you a lot about a person.

[-] Chippys_mittens@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago

That's definitely a big one for me.

[-] xep@discuss.online 17 points 4 days ago
[-] VitoRobles@lemmy.today 5 points 3 days ago

Yep. Real fucking easy answer for me.

If someone tells you a story about how they lost their dog, if that person tries to one-up them, dismiss them, or hurts them... They're a bad person. No negotiation.

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Everybody has the capacity to be an asshole once in a while. To asshole is human.

But in general, people who go out of their way to stir shit up, or be an asshole/intentionally rude about something, then play the victim when they get called out for being an asshole. Waste of fucking space and energy. Just go live on a fucking island with all the other passive aggressive assholes.

[-] Linktank@lemmy.today 4 points 3 days ago

Through their actions.

[-] blady_blah@lemmy.world 12 points 4 days ago

It's all about empathy. If they lack empathy or kindness then fuck them. I don't want them in my life and I prefer not to interact with them.

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[-] jeena@piefed.jeena.net 33 points 5 days ago

If they harm other people, intentionally or not, physically, emotionally, etc. And they could stop but choose not to, then often they are a bad person.

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[-] Apytele@sh.itjust.works 4 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Most people are good. Most people forget to be kind to others sometimes.

Some people forget to be kind to others more. I kinda don't like that.

Some people need to cause others discomfort to feel like they are in control of their lives. I dislike that.

Some people feel that they have the right to or even should cause others discomfort because they have some kind of birthright granted by their religion, how aggressive their ancestors were, or some perception that they've worked harder than others. I feel that such people should either be rigorously reeducated or in some way removed from access to other humans entirely.

[-] Count042@lemmy.ml 8 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

One of my tests as I've grown older is whether or not that person is capable of treating someone else's children as their own.

Both my father and step father did, so I didn't realize how rare of an attribute this is, nor did I realize how evil not having this attribute can make some seemingly good people behave.

[-] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 25 points 5 days ago

Easy. By what they say and do.

I assume everyone is good by default, and I'll usually let a tasteless joke slide once, because we all occasionally put our foot in mouth.

If their actions and words don't mesh with my own moral compass, they aren't a person I associate with any more than necessary.

[-] baller_w@lemmy.zip 2 points 3 days ago

The book “Sapiens” does a good job framing this. Humans are social creatures. Our social groups define their own norms, mores, values, etc. To be “good” is to align with those values. Clashes happen when groups with vastly different values interact. The old adage “if you were born where they were born, and you were raised how they were raised, then you would believe what they believe” applies here, even though this isn’t always true.

The Internet makes this problem more stark. Our groups aren’t based on location anymore; our neighborhood, our school, our church. We can find our group(s) that align with and reinforce us any time we want. It’s also upset the typical way we define our values, and our society is struggling to catch up.

So long way of saying, good or bad relies on context and the values of those you’re close with.

But fuck people who don’t return their shopping cart. They’re just plain bad.

[-] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago

two things.

  1. how they treat other people
  2. what they don't say

first one is pretty easy. don't treat other people like pieces of shit, or you're a piece of shit.

second one, when they see something happening that is wrong and do nothing. you're a piece of shit.

[-] alonsohmtz@feddit.uk 2 points 3 days ago

Honestly, I just kind of pick up on it.

Most people aren't good and they tend to get worse with age. The people who are good tend to have a hard time because of how awful the rest of us are.

[-] balderdash9@lemmy.zip 19 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

Although philosophers who embrace moral realism will have different views, my takeaway is that it is much harder to be a virtuous moral agent than the layperson assumes.

That said, if I find that a person often puts their own interests above those of everyone else, this is a good indication of questionable character.

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[-] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 17 points 4 days ago

If they lie all the time, they are probably willing to do other awful things as well.

If they are willing to steal outside of a desperate situation, if they treat someone who's been good to them awful, if they treat those beneath them awfuly, if they judge based on location, race, etnicity, etc. If they put whatever fantasy world they live in, over reality (antivaxxers and such, and yes religious people).

If they co-operated with Jeffrey Epstein, they only belong in the woodchipper.

[-] Chippys_mittens@lemmy.world 2 points 4 days ago

I'd mostly agree but would need to hear more about your view on religious people I guess.

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[-] Staff@piefed.world 13 points 4 days ago
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[-] hoch@lemmy.world 10 points 4 days ago

Their ability to return their shopping cart to the corral

[-] Matty_r@programming.dev 7 points 4 days ago

Small addition: while nobody is watching. Or at least they think nobody is watching.

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[-] Redvenom@retrolemmy.com 3 points 3 days ago

are their actions based on how they benefit them?

[-] ulterno@programming.dev 2 points 3 days ago

I also find it important to consider what they think of as "benefitting themselves".

If good vs bad is dependent upon their actions, then someone extremely selfish can be seen as "good", just if they have enough ability to think long term and desire a future that would end up making them act "good".

If good vs bad is dependent upon their thoughts, then good luck finding out what people think. What they say will be completely different from what they think and a lot of them just realise they can easily get away with contradicting themselves as long as they do so in front of someone powerless.

[-] Scuzzm0nkey@lemmy.world 7 points 4 days ago

How people behave towards animals is a really big one for me. If someone doesn't like cats or dogs or any sort of critters for any reason other than a traumatic childhood attack memory I assume something is deeply wrong with them. I realize plenty of bad people don't hate animals, but I assume if you do then you can't be good.

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[-] zxqwas@lemmy.world 8 points 4 days ago

If society was only copies of this person, would it be better or worse to live in than current society?

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[-] LoreSoong@startrek.website 8 points 4 days ago

Louis Rossman had a video years ago that really got me looking at people differently. An obvious sign for him is how they treat animals. animals sadly are often the ultimate litmus test for ones morality. I find that respecting an animal, its boundries and its emotions is a thing only possible when youve developed a (imo) basic sense of empathy, that for pets and animals cant be expressed verbally.

Think of times when a person was trying to force an animals to behave in a particular way purely for self intrest. Or if someone you know outright denies the complex emotions of animals. I am by no means an animal rights activist and i often can be heard yelling at my dog to stop barking or etc. But i think even if we "own" them most good people dont think of pets as propperty, status symbols, or entertainment.

the moment i see behavior like this I try to correct and if they actively fight me on it or make no attempt to improve. I will disconnect from them entirely, not worth it. If thats how you treat family, i dont want to see how you treat friends.

[-] chunes@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago

Heh. I assume everyone is a bad person unless they immensely prove that they aren't. they can't do lots of drugs, lead chaotic lives, be anti-intellectual, be a gossip, be greedy, a control freak, have an immoral job, use religion as a cudgel, have no integrity, be overly optimistic, have lots of kids, etc. etc.

Optimists can be cringe but do you really think it makes them bad people?

[-] ulterno@programming.dev 2 points 3 days ago

Heh, "Respect all, Suspect all."

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[-] pir8t0x@lemmy.ml 3 points 4 days ago

I determine it by analyzing their attitude, behaviour, body language, their personal beliefs.

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[-] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 2 points 4 days ago

Everyone will name some virtue they consider themselves to possess, and then use that to judge someone else.

I do the same thing almost everyone else in here actually does. I ask, 'how much are they like me?' Because, we all think of ourselves as being a good person. If I'm shocked and repulsed by something they do, because I wouldn't do that, then they are a "bad" person.

A few will say the opposite, "If they don't do what I do, then they're better than me, so they're probably a 'good' person." Because to those few, self-depreciation makes them a "good" person.

[-] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 2 points 4 days ago

By watching show they behave when they can get away with doing the bad things.

[-] LavaPlanet@sh.itjust.works 4 points 4 days ago

Their levels of empathy, their relationship with their own ego, and, similarly, their levels of selfishness / egotistic/ egocentric. That's the core that drives, they'll make decisions on who to betray from that core, with no care for others, they become quite dangerous to be around. That said something people are good at pretending they have empathy and aren't egocentric, but if you wait and watch, pretend always has cracks to see through. And i don't mean small moments of overwhelm. I mean, polar opposite behaviours that seem outside their morals, when not in an extreme emotion. You will usually see little things around the edges, and your instinct is to excuse it away, because it doesn't fit the narrative, don't do that bit. Little things around the edges might look like casually stealing, possibly just small things, sometimes even from friends, jealousy or a hatred for someone for no apparent reason other than they're good at something the person in question is, too. Wanting a lot of attention, without giving anyone else room in the spotlight, or giving less and less room for others in the spotlight, until it's all about them. Passing blame, it's always someone elses fault, or excuses for everything they do that they feel are a reason to be able to do the poor behaviour, rather than taking responsibility, learning and growing. Unable to metabolise failure, at all. If you look up fixed and growth mindset, (Carol Dweck) narcissistic types, always have a fixed mindset. Where they're Unable to utilise mistakes or failures to learn and grow, and believe that you are inherently born good at things or not, rather than practice at anything making you able to be an expert at something.

I cannot remember the reference right now, but it's said that anyone can become "genius" level at something, if they just put 7 years of practice into it. "Bad" people, practice being like everyone else, they are very good at learning what you want to see, and mirroring that, for a time, it's not something anyone can hold up for very long, but that said, I've seen it held up for a year, odd, at times.

If you wait, don't get enmeshed with someone too quickly, they usually try to move fast to enmesh you, and remember that a lot of what you see in anyone around you, is what your brain imagines is there, you put a "persona" on people, all people. What's in everyone is a complex mix of a different set of morals, and emotional maturity, privilege and perspective of the world that's shaped by their unique upbringing, surroundings and environment. Even two siblings can have very different upbringing, surroundings and environment. And everyone has bad and good, in them. What you need to assess is the harm they could or do cause you and what you need to do to keep safe, keeping in mind that psychological, emotional and verbal abuse, are as harmful as physical abuse. And then decide what level of involvement is safe for you.

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this post was submitted on 20 Feb 2026
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