My face just looks like this since I hit 40. Haven't checked on my balls - beer gut is in the way

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[–] 93 points 9 months ago (4 children)

Idk a single man who cares about stretch marks, it's usually the women who bring it up

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  • [–] 29 points 9 months ago (2 children)

    I agree, women are savage to each other, men either don't notice or don't care mostly. Ofc there are some idiots

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  • [–] 17 points 9 months ago

    I've seen and heard both men and women bring up their own stretch marks, but I've almost* never seen or heard anyone of any gender bring up someone else's. And I have stretch marks, and have been seen naked by several people of various genders.

    *the one exception I've seen is as part of a list of reasons husbands have given for why they find their wives unattractive post pregnancy. And that was maybe twice and in anonymous comments.

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    [–] 54 points 9 months ago (3 children)

    Men will not complain about your stretch marks

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    [–] 43 points 9 months ago (9 children)

    To be fair, nobody be they man, woman, or beast, believes that balls are attractive to anybody without a weird testicle kink.

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  • [–] 24 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (2 children)

    I dunno, I think a lot of male-attracted people enjoy a good pair of balls

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  • [–] 52 points 9 months ago* (6 children)

    I had a one night stand where the guy warned me he had only one ball. My immediate (in my head) reaction was I would not have noticed.

    They shift around on their own and sometimes one or both hide for some reason, and honestly I respect the hell out of such a chaotic organ, but they are purely unreliable. Just imagine going through life thinking testicles are stagnant and neat, two nuts in a skin sack, only to find out half the population has these roving jizz pebbles constantly on the move. Our word for 'planet' comes from the greek word for 'wanderer,' and so should testicles have been named. They wander the groin as the trepidation of the spheres rolls planets across our skies. Never still.

    So I guess they're okay. He didn't want me to touch his ball anyway.

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  • [–] 4 points 9 months ago (1 child)

    I respect the hell out of such a chaotic organ

    just for curiosity, what else is a chaotic organ?

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  • [–] 5 points 9 months ago

    The liver. Gets high as fuck without dying (much,) can Terminator 2 regenerate itself — like if you gave someone half your liver (in their body) you'd both end up with whole livers, and it's the most delicious of the organs.

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    [–] 29 points 9 months ago (1 child)

    Oh please, I wish my balls were that smooth.

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  • [–] 24 points 9 months ago (1 child)

    I don't care if she has stretch marks. Why would I?

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  • [–] 13 points 9 months ago (1 child)

    These some high quality memes you've got here tonight, sir. You got a license to distribute these white hot bangers?

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  • [–] 13 points 9 months ago

    Two thoughts:

    1. I've never heard a man complain about stretch marks.

    2. Good lord OP, is that an actual real photo of a real human face?

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  • [–] 8 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (3 children)

    I shave mine and now they look great IMO

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    [–] 6 points 9 months ago

    I'll have you know these balls as smooth sa eggs.

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  • [–] 5 points 9 months ago

    TIL my balls are Gelfling.

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  • [–] 5 points 9 months ago

    I think stretch marks are cute.

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  • [–] 4 points 9 months ago (2 children)

    I think stretch marks are cute! But then, I like big bellies, so it comes with the territory.

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    [–] 3 points 9 months ago (1 child)

    Balls have stretch marks? I've been focused on it being the last patch of hair to turn grey

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  • [–] 3 points 9 months ago

    I love feeling around my girlfriend's stretch marks

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  • [–] 3 points 9 months ago
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