Full marks, truly captures the spirit of Lemmy.

I'm 5'3 and my wife is closer to 5'10. My wife is quite charming and attractive whilst I have a huge personality.

Awful joke that scarcely carries into text aside, it's possible to date successfully as a short man. You just have to have things to offer, then find someone who values those things. Having really excellent things, like fantastic conversational skills and personality, well-developed or unique personal interests, or a monster condom that you use for your magnum dong, helps immensely.

Strange leg placement and foot design, and the twenty tails.

Unfortunately, it appears to be at least partially rectally sourced. The first known Greek steam engine was the aeolipile, invented by the Greek engineer Heron, which was simply an amusing toy. He did invent a door opening mechanism that operated by steam power, but there is no record of it not being adopted for fear of displacing slave labor.

I've been bald for nigh on 30 years, so this is accurate.

He didn't lose his hair - it fled in protest.

This was developed at the University of Nottingham, a public research university.

From the article:

The device was developed by the university and its spin-out company Neurotherapuetics Ltd, which secured £1m in additional funding to commercialise the device.

Isn't it always us tax payers footing the bill for development, then again to buy it? Ridiculous. If a university develops technology with government funding, its findings ought to be available to the public and its products sold at cost.

He looks younger there than in the post pic.

Obvious troll is obvious.

There's nothing quite like when someone reads a study and doesn't understand it, yet is such a smug, condescending arsehole whilst being completely wrong.

Edit: JFC, you didn't even get past the abstract.

I purchased silk floss online. It works quite well.