I bet Ken felt very embarrassed when he reread this when he wasn't completely blazed.

Or are you high maintenance and in such profound denial that you're adamant you're truly low maintenance?

66% attendance being a record high is so disappointing.

Jimmy Carter was alright. The rest were awful.

US gonna US.

Schmand: like crème fraîche but with 150% more atherosclerosis!

It's very unremarkable. If you've had cottage cheese or farmer's cheese, you'll be entirely unsurprised by its flavor. The texture isn't at all like cottage cheese, though. It's smooth, almost like a cream cheese.

Here's one about Van Damme's coke problem:

https://www.vice.com/en/article/jean-claude-van-damme-street-fighter-movie-cocaine-vgtrn/

If something built an Automatic Lock Picker 3000...

Just an interesting tidbit: something similar to this already exists. It won't pick any lock, but it makes picking the majority of locks dead simple.

JFC

If your partner relies on passive aggressive physical expressions to communicate, being single is probably preferable.