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I'm in a real jam here and I need help scheming to outfox a motel landlord (hexbear.net)
submitted 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
19 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I lied to them and said I had one cat because after I paid for the stay I found out they had hidden a one pet policy in the fine print. I have two cats. And now I learn that because I told them I have a cat in the first place they insist (fine print!) on 'room service' coming in my room at least every other day to inspect seems like. How do I deal with this? If anyone has any experience doing something like this or even just has done the inspection thing with a motel before it would help to know how the mechanics of the interaction will go. I waved them off until tomorrow.

Some background: I'm with my cats staying in motels medium-term because of a huge fucking drama you can check my post history for pieces of. My roommate declared that I had moved out on my behalf when I went to take care of my sick friend with cancer. When I got back they refused me entry and changed the locks. I haven't even been able to get a legal response going because of how much I'm freaking out and running around putting out fires like this. My cats were in the apartment until a couple days ago when he was threatening to release them because I had 'abandoned' them.

I can't fucking deal with this. How do I hide one of my cats so they only see the other?? All I have is a car. Do I have to put one in the fucking trunk and drive to the other side of the parking lot and hope they don't meow too loud so someone tries to break them out?? I just got my babies safe with me and now I have to traumatize them 4 times a week with some underhanded shit?? Fuck my life for real. Fuck.

And it's not like I can just sneak them out the back to do that, either! It's a fucking motel! The cleaners are going to be going from room to room outside. Maybe swaddle one of them so I can sneak them out in a fucking backpack? I fucking hate every idea I come up with.

edit: I've made arrangements to have one of them at a pet sitter for a few hours during the day tomorrow. I guess this is going to be the plan until my reservation is over. Then I'll find one this doesn't happen at.

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[-] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago

Maybe I do the swaddle/bag thing to smuggle them out of the room and then I can find like a cat walker who can hold onto them for a few hours. If such a thing exists near me. Nothing like throwing money at a problem...

[-] [email protected] 5 points 2 years ago

Fucking hell, I have to pick one of my two babies to do this to and it's gonna have to be the same one every time.

[-] [email protected] 5 points 2 years ago

non-overnight rate for a pet boarder I found is like 25 bucks... I can survive that I guess...

And this is just more sand in the gears with me trying to pin this motherfucker to the wall for kicking me out on the street in 90 degree weather. This is gonna be a time consuming chore.

[-] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago

100% burning this account and switching once this is all over. Love you guys and I'll still be around but I'm doxxing the hell out of myself over all this.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

One of them is especially traumatized by travel (pees in the carrier 100% of the time) and the other one has been showing abandonment issues and unusual aggression since I saved them from my oldest and dearest mortal enemy. Neither one of them deserves to take one for the team right now. I'm trembling right now

[-] [email protected] 6 points 2 years ago

Dye the two cats the same color/markings and keep them in separate rooms. "No that's the same cat, you must've let it in here by accident."

[-] [email protected] 5 points 2 years ago

If you have any comrades in the area maybe you could convince them to temporarily keep one of the cats at their place. Or if you know anyone else at the Motel reasonably well, maybe you could keep one cat in your room and the other cat with them.

I haven't really ever had cats, so I don't really know how to deal with them.

[-] [email protected] 5 points 2 years ago

Do I have to put one in the fucking trunk and drive to the other side of the parking lot and hope they don't meow too loud so someone tries to break them out??

I know it's a desperate situation, but I wouldn't leave a pet in the car. They can get surprisingly hot, even in mild weather.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

A trash bag filled at the ice machine in there with them? Of course I know about that. That's why someone would be compelled to break them out. Like I said I fucking hate every idea I can come up with.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 2 years ago

A trash bag filled at the ice machine in there with them?

Maybe if you had some way to monitor the temperature of the trunk remotely?

[-] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago

It's looking like the plan is gonna be a morning to evening cat sitter for hire. Gonna smuggle them out swaddled in a towel and zipped in a bag. Seems to be the least bad option at the moment.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

And it's going to have to be the one who's been showing more emotional strain unfortunately, because of the urine thing. I'm pretty sure she'll still handle it better...

[-] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

I suppose the cleaners will also look in the bathroom? How about the closet?

Do you have any friends or family who could take care of them while you figure your situation out?

What are the terms or consequences of the one-pet policy? What's the vibe of the people you've talked to? Any chance they might just be sympathetic to your situation? Are you in a position to offer them any kind of security, extra tips, etc. to make it worth their while? (might cancel out the cost of a catsitter?)

edit: also I'm really sorry to read about your situation comrade. but this is the best-titled post i've ever seen on this website lol

[-] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago

bump and comment so you get this figured out comrade

[-] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago

pwease sing soft kitty

this post was submitted on 11 Oct 2023
28 points (100.0% liked)

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