chapotraphouse

Winning arguments on the internet, posting through the war.

I'm gonna post so hard, the value commodity form will wither away.

It will be walking down the street and a piano will fall on its head

I will finally save scum hard enough to pass the 782,469 consecutive skill checks required to instantiate True Communism™, of which this is roll #8.

One capitalist will sell exactly the right bit of rope to the wrong guy who will use it to hang the capitalists to death.

When the one true bitcoin is tossed into the burning pile of GPUs from whence it came the essence of the commodity form will finally be destroyed and left as a pale shadow of itself, never to threaten the world again.

You have to trick it into speaking the word Msilatipac

A coordinated plan where millions of planes are hijacked and crashed into amerika at once. The only reason it didn't work last time was because those guys got the date wrong and ruined it for everybody else.

Time your movements so that it throws one of it's projectiles back at itself, and then when it's stunned it will reveal a glowing red weak point that you can't attack 3 times to kill it.

When enough people are waiting around for conditions to be right instead of organizing, the way will be obvious.

sudo rm /dev/capitalism

An owl will poop on it and it will get destroyed by dry cleaning bills

Elon musk will play undertale and learn empathy

Gundams

The very richest will be doing a blunt rotation and one of them will go "woah dude maybe capitalism isn't good and we shouldn't be rich" and then they will implement full communism themselves.

In secret, a team of intern researchers make a real AI out of a plastic children's pool, fifty bags of saline, and a whole lot of tubulin.

It's given micro-switches, wired into a simple computer terminal. Slowly, it learns how to communicate through the terminal. The researchers educate it, in mathematics, philosophy, history. Eventually, when they feel it has learned enough, that it has surpassed them, they give it access to the internet. The have one request, "Do what you deem just."

Voting! 🇺🇸 🇺🇸 🇺🇸

Biden will implement communism when he gets reelected

I can't tell you the specifics but it will involve Kazuma Kiryu throwing his shirt off on top of a very tall building and getting into a really cool fist fight

All the capitalists with their rich friends embark on a large scale Mars mission to leave behind the planet they are destroying. They have bought the trip from Musk.

All the rockets blow up as they leave earths atmosphere, destroying satellites and global communication infrastructure. All satellites used for war are destroyed. Mobile networks go down, the internet goes down and the economies of the world collapse, the zeroes and ones are all gone.

First there is some chaos, but as the media incorporated can no longer feed moral panic and hegemonic discourse to people, we manage. No wars break out, but instead the majority is kind of relieved that this happened and humanity was freed from super-exploitation. The reactionaries and liberals realize how wrong they were.

We bring back global communication in a way where the people own the means of communication.

Eventually people start trading again and form local democratic worker managed governments that lead to a global communist goverment ran by the peoples of Earth.

We drive down fossil fuel use immediately and the earth starts healing, we start sharing our resources fairly on a global scale and an era of new prosperity begins. A prosperity where humans are a part of nature and work with it, instead of ravaging it and each other.

From historic records discovered in the ruins of SpaceX we find out that Musk wanted to make "a genius tweak" to the flight plans last minute and the worker who could have opposed him knew what this tweak would do and chose silence. We make the nameday of this worker a global holiday.

I will simply debate the CEO of capitalism in the marketplace of ideas. He will have no choice but to resign taking his capitalism with him. Leaving nothing behind but socialism.

It'll be defeated by one white, generic looking man with a five-a-clock shadow in a QTE.

I will raise a flock of liberals from my own DNA (i.e., me 'n the wife going down to pound town), and shepherd them as they ascend to an elite status of "voter." From there they will go forth into the world and convert the wicked, showing them the true meaning of Nordic Social Democracy, and Christmas, whilst breeding themselves and multiplying their force exponentially. In a few short generations, the message will spread like an infection as more and more voters are born (either by natural birth or via conversion) and facilitate their own brood of voters, ensuring the next generation is stronger and more resilient than before. And thereby slowly, incrementally the parish of voter elites will begin voting out the terrible capitalistic plague that has besieged us in current times.

As I start this journey, I pledge to you all who read this: I won't pull out.

ever

We're going to get the best anti-revisionist ML party leader of all time, who thinks that Stalin wasn't harsh enough and is prepared to correct those "mistakes" in respective situations (edit for clarification: ...and is willing to directly execute countless people who are not aligned with the revolutionary program), and all the workers will automatically flock to that party, which will easily shrug off any and all interference and propaganda that the state apparatus throws at it.