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Plant Slurs (mander.xyz)
submitted 1 day ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[-] [email protected] 3 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago)

My co-workers call me weed I think it's because I'm tenacious. So much in fact I have a meeting with HR on Monday probably a pay rise

[-] [email protected] 3 points 4 hours ago

am i not supposed to want weed around?

[-] [email protected] 4 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago)

How about honeysuckle vs trumpet vine? Both grow like hell, invasively, where I live. One is a tasty and pleasant treat when flowering. The other is just.. there, growing. A lot.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 3 hours ago

Same rules apply. If you don't want it there, it's a weed. If you don't mind it being there, it isn't.

[-] [email protected] 7 points 11 hours ago

Weeds are just highly successful flowers that have earned resentment from others.

[-] [email protected] 12 points 15 hours ago

i call this the weed paradox.

even though weeds grow unassisted. it is impossible for everyone to grow weeds in their garden. for is they try, they are no longer weeds

[-] [email protected] 17 points 18 hours ago

A weed is whatever your HOA says it is.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 11 hours ago

A HOA is a weed.

[-] [email protected] 15 points 18 hours ago

OOP is the author of something like seven published novels, one of which has been adapted into a movie and another of which may soon be made into a streaming series. Never feel embarrassed to say what you learned today.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 18 hours ago

It’s easy when you didn’t know something that is completely reasonable not to know, like in this example, but it’s always good to admit your ignorance.

[-] [email protected] 18 points 20 hours ago

Weeds is just the gardening term for "their kind".

[-] [email protected] 5 points 16 hours ago

"you people"

[-] [email protected] 28 points 23 hours ago

The general definition of a weed is "any plant growing where you don't want it to be". A corn plant in a bean field is a terrible weed.

[-] [email protected] 10 points 22 hours ago

what the hell is a bean field? also beans are great with corn they climb the stalks, also have squash, then boom you have the so called three sisters.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 17 hours ago

I am aware of, and deeply intrigued by, the three sisters method. It's just not a commercially viable method of growing those crops; I don't know what the harvest would look like.

We need to grow a lot more industrial hemp, but I'm afraid that's a bit of a pipe dream unless we change...literally everything.

[-] [email protected] 1 points 10 hours ago

We have neighbors with tons of hemp bales mouldering in the field because the processors won't take them because they don't have anywhere to sell them to. Maybe it's incompetence, or maybe the hemp hype isn't all it's cracked up to be. There aren't a lot of people willing to grow it anymore.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 21 hours ago

Bush beans are a thing? Soybeans don't climb either, and it's the most common bean grown in the US.

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[-] [email protected] 17 points 23 hours ago

The idea of “weeds” is a colonialist construct.

[-] [email protected] 135 points 1 day ago

Fun fact: the name for a weed in my native language is literally "angry grass" :3

[-] [email protected] 58 points 1 day ago

Unkraut in German. Doesn't deserve to be called a Kraut.

[-] [email protected] 33 points 1 day ago

Similar in Norwegian: Ugress. Un-grass.

I've heard one definition of it that I like: The grass that your (grazing) animals won't eat.

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[-] [email protected] 5 points 18 hours ago

Nobody's said it so I will.

A weed is any plant that grows on disturbed or compacted soil without cultivation. Their growth conditions are created by humans and their spread is caused by humans.

Our opinions mean nothing to plants

[-] [email protected] 45 points 1 day ago

In Spanish we call them "malas hierbas"

[-] [email protected] 2 points 13 hours ago

Isn’t hierba buena mint? Everything else must be hierba neutra then

[-] [email protected] 32 points 1 day ago

In German it's "Unkraut" which could either be interpreted as "not herb", "abnormal herb" or "evil herb". Is the range similar in Spanish?

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[-] [email protected] 58 points 1 day ago

Just wait until he finds out about "tree"

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[-] [email protected] 67 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

My definition: aggressive spread and resilience to removal.

Plants that are pretty might get more of a 'pass' than ones which are ugly, poisonous or thorny, but ultimately, even the most beautiful flower becomes a weed when it's suddenly everywhere and you are fighting constantly to get rid of it.

[-] [email protected] 23 points 1 day ago

aggressive spread and resilience to remove

Many would argue that mint is an herb. But if you ever had your garden invaded by mint, you'll definitely classify them under weed.

Always plant mint in a pot. And if your neighbour has mint in their garden, you better have a 2m trench filled with concrete between their garden and yours.

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[-] [email protected] 35 points 1 day ago

My garden is all weeds. Tons of different plants, but some dominate in certain seasons, growing like 5 feet high. Seems to have avoided anything nasty though, no thistles, nettles or brambles.

My neighbour's garden is a thin layer of plastic astroturf. And they let a dog run about on it. Good luck getting dog diarrhoea out of that.

I know which I prefer.

[-] [email protected] 17 points 1 day ago

If you are happy with the plants being where they are then they aren't weeds. The main problem is companies that sell plant killing chemicals and services treat the word 'weed' as if it had a universal meaning.

[-] [email protected] 15 points 1 day ago* (last edited 22 hours ago)

I wish someone had warned me before No Mow May about brambles.

1 shoulder injury and a year later I need chainmail gloves and a fucking flamethrower. I fill my green bin with brambles, by the time it's picked up they've grown back.

The main root is under a shed. I don't know how to eliminate it.

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[-] [email protected] 4 points 18 hours ago

Ironically, weed isn't a weed for many people.

[-] [email protected] 17 points 1 day ago

Is this fish but with plants?

[-] [email protected] 6 points 22 hours ago

fish but with plants is trees

[-] [email protected] 3 points 19 hours ago

get out... are you saying barks have no meaning

[-] [email protected] 1 points 5 hours ago

barks have the meaning that you agreed upon with your puppy girlfriend :D

[-] [email protected] 30 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Yes, this was a real educational technicality fuckup, it seemed sus but everyone was like "don't you know it's a weed"? - "No, no I do not. And you don't even have a field to worry abut crop yields, it's just a lawn & now there is a flower in it, wtf."

I know it's economy (or even sociology), but it's too close to biology not to directly explain it properly.

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this post was submitted on 11 Jul 2025
1438 points (99.4% liked)

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