306
Which ones were you?
(lazysoci.al)
WHO HAS ADHD?
WHO IN SCHOOL, AND ATTENTION
EXTROVERTED YOUNG
BOY FIDGETS A LOT
STRUGGLES
CAN'T PAY
Not me, I don't have any attention in school 😂
Someone once said to me “I didn't know you had ADHD! I thought you were just scatterbrained and disorganized and fidgety and loud and excitable,” and I still think about that.
~~May Excel~~ May powerpoint or word as well.
May June July August, too.
Introverted, not hyperactive, both excelled and struggled at school depending on the class and assignment (my grades for assignments were either As or Fs because I did/did not do them), everything else is the 'typical' ones
I got the highest score on the newly created school-wide writing assessment for two years running at my high school of 2k students.
Then I failed or dropped English 101 twice in college, once because even though my essays were nearly flawless and I did plenty of writing, I failed to complete my daily journals, and the other because the professor was so complacent that they didn't know the story they had as part of their syllabus for 15 years. I then passed it with an A when it was online and the "journal entries" were forum discussions about the weekly movie we all watched and discussed (e.g. Thelma and Louise, discussing gender issues and whatnot). I've never been good at busy work, or work designed to just "give experience." But something that engages my attention or is working toward a particular goal and I do great.
So yeah, like you said, As or Fs.
This is so relatable. I attended a school that gave its students a ton (and I mean a ton) of homework, because idle hands are the devil's workshop (ugh), and I struggled the moment I couldn't coast through without studying. Then went on to a college with a very similar work structure, and the same thing happened, except this time I quit after failing an entire trimester's worth of classes. Some time after I enrolled into a different college that had a more hands on approach and I aced nearly every class.
Every trimester we'd have to enroll to a class which would have only one assignment, and you'd start working on it on day 1, and present results on the final day before a panel. The workload was much greater, I had less guidance, and it lead to a more trial and error approach than a step by step guide, but I'd never felt more comfortable or happier in an academic setting. Previously I had thought school just wasn't for me but it was all in the approach. I just can't do piecemeal busy work.
The whole sentence pretty much describes me perfectly but it was never picked up on. I'm 43 now and have only recently realised.
I was diagnosed as neurodiverse in later life so I can really relate
What does that diagnosis entail? Can you get prescribed anything (not jost meds but measures) for being neurodiverse?
I would assume they were handed a more specific diagnosis that they just summarized here under the label neurodivergent.
I just turned 42 and was only just diagnosed with ADHD inattentive type and ASD type 1 last year. The only way I got the idea to get diagnosed was because of my youtube algorithm ending up on videos that talked about neurodivergence, so one could say it was kind of by random chance. And because I might have slightly above average IQ or whatever, I was one of those that could do their homework 1 hour before bedtime the day before it needed handing in. Or when it came to math I'd just do it in the break as soon as we had gotten the homework in the breaks to avoid doing it at home.
I was diagnosed with with ADD in 1992 at 12 years old, and again by a different doctor at 16, but it was the 90s and "we all had ADD!", at least that's what I told myself for the following two and a half decades. I basically gaslit myself into completely dismissing the diagnosis from two separate doctors several years apart. Of course, I also struggled with basically every aspect of what I would have considered "normal life" all the while. I mean, barely able to exist in the Normal World ™ and always wondering why the hell I couldn't just "get my shit together".
Well, spoiler, it was the ADHD. The incredible thing is, I know about a dozen other people my age who all have the same story as mine. We made a joke of it all and ended up really screwing ourselves over as the punchline.
I'm super quiet and often look well composed but emotionless. It seems to give off an aura of confidence which is a complete contradiction to the overstimulated chaos happening inside.
Since I am so quiet because of over stimulation, people react by either assuming I know too much or I'm a absolute idiot who needs to be talked to like a toddler. This ends up with people expecting me to just know everything or thinking I know nothing at all. There's rarely ever someone that treats me as average, just like everyone else on this planet.
The worst part about adhd and autism is that everything seems to be a contradiction. I personally have leaned into the contradiction because it's the only way to be comfortable with myself. It may not always make sense but if it works and I am happy and no one is being hurt, there shouldn't be an issue about it. I am a human being, just another animal on this planet.
I think me acknowledging and embracing that contradiction scares people and a result, takes it out on me for being comfortable in my own contradictions.
Why do I hate crowds and loud noises but love to dance in a big happy, sweaty crowd with loud music? Fuck if I know but it makes me happy. Why do I need structure in my daily life but can't plan a trip beyond a return plane ticket and 5 nights booked somewhere at a hostel for a 3 months trip to Europe? Fuck if I know but I survived and it made me happy.
I can't outrun my adhd so why not embrace it.
Why do I hate crowds and loud noises but love to dance in a big happy, sweaty crowd with loud music?
Because when you are dancing your mind does not think it needs to interact with the crowd around you whereas normally your brain is looking for those requiring your input
This seems to over simplify the complex feelings I have in both those situations and does not quite fully resonate with me. I can sit with this and over analyze it but I choose not to because there isn't much need to for me.
I don't always need an explanation for why I am enjoying living in the moment, what's important is that I am living in the moment. Those are the memories that are truly important to me because I get to enjoy them for myself later on my own time.
I have always been both extro- and introverted, with social activity being quite exhausting even when I enjoy it, but also happy to do nothing but sit in front of a PC 24 hours a day. When socially active, I have been pretty great at superficial interactions, I don't even have a lot of trouble making friends, historically - but I am also very prone to misunderstand things others seemed to intuitively understand, and also have a history of changing peer circles and losing contact with people.
I've been young before, but I am old now.
I'm a cishet guy, so I guess I have been a boy.
I have phases of fidgeting and other noticeable stimming, but can also sit completely still, both as a learned/trained thing, stress reaction (to the point of basically dissociating), or when otherwise focused on things.
I both excelled and struggled in school - I excelled at the topics I loved and was able to bullshit a lot thanks to absorbing a lot of general knowledge because my family was all failed, mentally ill and ND academics/intellectuals. But I simply never put in any effort and was outright defiant for anything that did not interest me - and I never did homework, flunked out of classes repeatedly and basically stayed home about 1/3rd of my career as a student, but still managed to finish school - probably because some teachers found that combination of knowledge and defiance "endearing" and they put in a word with the teachers that rightfully found it just to be obnoxious.
"Difficulty regulating" attention hits the nail on the head, and the fact that I thought to myself "But I can pay attention to things, I can even be extremely focused, so it can't be AD(H)D" as a misconception for decades was sadly a very regrettable part of my life that kept me from understanding myself properly.
(I even had a diagnosis when I was a kid, but my parents were rather ambivalent about it, and it was the late 90s/early 2000s, the time when ADHD was presented as "just those damn psychiatrists/psychologists suddenly pathologising normal behaviour, just discipline your kids right" very regularly and with relatively little backlash - probably one of the most damaging pop-culture contrarianisms that affected my childhood/teenage years. I internalised it for decades and just assumed that diagnosis back then must have been a "trendy" mistake, because the most superficial "these are the symptoms" materials I read, never seemed to fit properly - and the people I knew with confirmed ADHD seemed so different from how it manifested for them.)
I have always been both extro- and introverted, with social activity being quite exhausting even when I enjoy it, but also happy to do nothing […]
This is actually textbook introvert. Ex/introverted has nothing to do with what you enjoy. It's about what "recharges your battery" and gives you the strength to continue.
Do you remember during lockdowns there were those people who were absolutely losing their minds because they missed being around people so much? Those are extraverts. They need people to recharge their batteries like you or I need our alone time to recharge ours.
People who need people, lol
So what if I both get energy from and am exhausted by people? I go crazy if I spend too much time alone AND too much time with people.
It's like a crazy dysregulated roller coaster thing
The term is "ambiverted".
In my case I think it's "AuDHD" 🤣
And I suspect that whether/how much I feel the need to mask plays a big factor.
Mood and same, yeah. XD
That actually sounds like you might be both tbh. I would have thought would be a good thing, though. Like you're able to recharge from both AC & DC, to continue the battery metaphor lol.
Also maybe I'm wrong but I think most introverts need some minimum level of socializing after a while, even if it's draining, the are many benefits that outweigh the energy expenditure.
Hmmm, I think with that definition I am for sure more on the introverted end, but reflecting on it, I am still uncertain if it's clear-cut.
While I was very unambivalent in my first assessment, I can think of social situations that have been regenerating to me, even ones that may seem paradoxical - like having a lot of people (I trust) around me enjoying themselves loudly on drugs and alcohol, while I stay sober and listen to them talk to me uninhibited and without a filter. And I did miss being around people, sometimes desperately so, although maybe not to the degree you are describing.
But I've also always struggled with clear-cut categories like that, feeling like a completely different person at different times of my life, so, I guess I don't know if I am just overthinking it. 🤷 If seen on a scale/spectrum, definitely more weight on the introverted side, though.
But I've also always struggled with clear-cut categories like that, feeling like a completely different person at different times of my life, [...]
I hear that. I think a spectrum/scale is probably more helpful than a binary A | B divide, and yeah also heavily context dependent. Like even really severe introverts usually have some close "inner circle" people who they don't find draining.
I also relate to feeling alone in a crowd, where you can sort of spectate the socializing without actually being the focus of it. Or just being in an anonymous crowd so large that you feel alone (the crush of humanity--the thing I miss the most about living in s big city).
Anyway, not that I'm looking for universal metrics, but just to say that most introverts probably aren't 100% that way -- they might just need every other weekend to themselves or something.
Lockdown really was rhe best thing to happen im recent years 😌
I thought some trashmonster sung that people who need people are the luckiest people in the world?
"Young" is not wrong. You don't suddenly get it when you're old, you're born with it. But I guess they wanted to show that there are a lot of undiagnosed adults.
You also don’t suddenly get rid of it once you’re an adult, which I believe is the point being made
Some people think that people just grow out of it and it's not a problem in adults.
To the point that some places won't prescribe meds to adults.
I'm not in school, phew! No ADHD for me!
not my dumbass reading it as "who in school and attention" 3 times not understanding the post
ah crap I'm the exact stereotype
Yes
I would disagree on just one of those, ADHD literally stands for attention deficit hyperactive disorder, so if you're not hyperactive, you don't have ADHD, you have ADD. Which can still be valid!
I believe your definition, while lexically correct, is medically outdated. I've heard from many many sources that ADD is just no longer a thing. It's all only ADHD, which is confusing because many many people, especially those who have learned to cope or mask, do not actually present as hyperactive.
Why we haven't just called it executive functioning disorder already is a mystery to me, because that seems to be the core trait among those who have been diagnosed.
ADD isn't a diagnosis anymore. It's the same spectrum disorder. I think in ICD-10 it's coded as ADHD-PI and ADHD-PH.
What's crazy is that it's also what prevented me from getting diagnosed as my "hyperactive" episodes happened at times that were largely appropriate, after school, play grounds, car rides. I wouldn't run around bouncing off walls, but I would talk about stuff until people walked away wide-eyed.
I was a stupid smart kid too. Just annoying as fuck.
There’s physically hyperactive, which is what traditionally was used to diagnose, and now mentally hyperactive is also recognized. As a result, three subtypes have been created - hyperactive, inattentive (mentally hyperactive), and combined.
The H can equally mean hyperattentive. I am diagnosed with ADHD without hyperactivity, but instead because of having the hyper focusing aspect more than constantly switching focus.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but the DSM5 requires struggling in school (well struggle during a young schooling age).
That said, those with many characteristics, me, benefit from understanding why certain things are more difficult and adopting ADHD coping techniques.
Edit: specifically referring to the diagnosis and not identity
As I understand it, being married to a therapist, you must meet a certain number of criteria, not any one specific criteria.
The result of the symptoms could be struggling in school, but it doesn't have to be is my understanding
It doesn't require any specific thing. I first had a doctor try to prescribe me ADHD meds well before I started school and told my mom I would do bad in school otherwise (I didn't do bad in school)
this post was submitted on 30 May 2025
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