I go on call in two days. So you know the deal, I might get weird.

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Hey im a 20 year old living with parents, most of you possibly dident know this but i have autism and dyslexia.

Im not allowed to jet a real job because parents dont want me having one and i dont have any means of getting to a job. For some reason im hyperfocused on wanting to make money online and im not quite sure why that is? Ive tried things like surveys but soon found out there worse than slave labor.

I do have ssi but most of it has to go towards my parents, i also heard getting income effects ssi income.

Idk, what would you advise? yes i know i need a hobby aswell in-which i am trying to explore more hobbys.

Went and played Dungeons and Dragons with my friends yesterday. Hauled all of my pizza gear over to my friends place and made pizza. Could of been better, but still good. Had a good game. Came home threw up violently and went to bed. Have no clue what caused it.

Anyway here's, Wonder Aggie!

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It's a rainy Valentine's Day. But that's ok.

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Lana gets on top of the refrigerator to feel superior.

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Janelle “Sky” Hansen was removed from her apartment in Minnetonka, Minnesota, in the northern USA, by Hennepin County Sheriff’s deputies. Those deputies had a court order, implying that at least one judge also participated in the commission of this crime against humanity. The deputies lied that they had no choice in the matter.

From the bodycam video, it’s clear that she received nowhere near 14 days’ notice. It looks more like 14 minutes.

Sky was evicted in June, 2025, and remains homeless to this day.

So long story short

I am writing to say hi and hopefully I can find answers lurking in the shadows by everyone here.

Long story:

I guess I believed that I didn't have this and have struggled a lot over time with the thought of always thinking what I might have and why I felt so different from neural typical people

I haven't had a formal diagnosis, but I have been unofficial diagnosed with ADHD,anxiety and depression and a nurse off had mentioned that I might have Asperger's but again no formal diagnosis.

I think I might also display signs CPTSD symptoms and I tend to have a proverbial forest of these lists of traumas albeit it small but are so...persistent that it is quite extensive in the sense that I could write a short story trying to explain myself with how I am feeling with this.

I think because my younger brother is mentally challenged to the point where he cannot look after himself, I think I have been hesitant to claim being neural divergent in fears that I might be thinking I am "broken"

But I have been, I guess, exploring, trying to understand what I might have because I have been forced to really try and make progress in my life after being "paralysed" by not feeling I am making any progress in my life.

I have always been something of a black sheep, generally have been of strong opinion and I am observant enough that I am decent at reading people to the point where I can call out other people's bs to a reasonable degree.

I believe I am strong willed in the sense that I am not too easily swayed, but tend to fold with a "second inner self" that is on watch once I have experienced something bad. I also feel like I can be caught up in a collective "energy" too

My life is one of wearing masks and figuring out the right "persona" to put on for the right "performance"

I also struggle with interpersonal relationships as I have a tendency to overshare and be verbose in both my words and actions.

I have a bad tendency to trust and that has led to me being taken advantage of a lot, which has a knock on effect of making me be very cautious of people and their intent, which leaves me feeling very lonely and unloved as I struggle to make connections

I have difficulties making connections because I generally scare everyone away with how "heavily burdened" my soul feels and that leads to struggling to regulate and being force to have to mask up and live with the tiring burden of wanting to "fit in"

I am unemployed, I have been looking for employment and struggle to find many jobs to apply to because of a lack of confidence in my skills and feeling very self-conscious because I am in student debt that I cannot pay and I am forced to stay with my parents which also makes and leaves me with guilt as it is a household that is hanging on by the generosity of family.

Just overall life sucks and I do not know what to do with myself as all roads feel like a dead end

Now, would you like explain yourself?! No I would not.

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You ever want to go home and you haven't even left yet?

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Hey y'all. Just wanted to vent a bit. I've been feeling really down lately, mostly because lately it feels like no matter what I do or how hard I try I can't seem to make people understand me. It doesn't really seem to matter if I'm talking to another neurodivergent person or not, people just assume they know what I'm saying and run with it. It just keeps happening and it's been creating more and more conflict at work, with my friends, with random people I have to deal with day to day. I feel so much like a fucking alien lately, like I'm speaking some language that no one around me understands but thinks they do. I had a meltdown the other day at a work friend who just could not stop for half a second to listen to what I was saying. I don't know if it's something I'm doing, I'm sure people will read this and assume that it is. At this point it doesn't even matter it just feels so pointless to even try. I want to cry with how badly I want someone to just listen to what I'm saying and try to actually understand. Like literally that's all I want, but it never seems to happen these days. I feel like it's going to cost me my job and friends. I feel like I'm going to lose everything and have to start my life over again somewhere else. I see how this is really a me problem. It's not fair but the burden is on me to make people understand what I'm saying. I see how my lack of energy and motivation to do so is making it impossible for me. I want to put forth the effort but I just have nothing left. I fucking hate myself for that, even knowing it's not really my fault. Thanks for reading if you got this far. This was stream of consciousness.

My truck got hit on the highway yesterday. Just some body damage. But my body is still dealing with the stress of it today.

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LANA! She was named after the character from Archer.

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Pizza party was a success!

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We're having a pizza party! With my in-laws. So people we know and we comfortable with.

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We need to talk. Don't worry it's just small talk.

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