Source: comedy writer Zach Dunn. Giving credit is cool.
this post was submitted on 20 May 2025
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Rebecca ass is shockingly tame for old James Bond
Pussy Galore is unironically a character name in Goldfinger (1964)
Bonus fun fact: In the original book Pussy Galore is a lesbian who who gets raped straight by James Bond's magical penis.
It was a simpler time ..
😬
Thats pretty much how it happens in the film too.
Such a romantic
One of the films (Thunderball maybe) starts with him raping a nurse.
Aside from Pussy Galore, another favorite inappropriate Bond moment I enjoy is from The Man with the Golden Gun. Bond approaches an Asian woman skinny dipping in a pool and asks her for her name.
She responds: "Chew Mee"
Bond: "Really!?...."
She needed to get something off her chest.
This one is kinda funny tho
Definitely funny!
There was a movie named Octopussy
I thought that's the one Pussy Galore is in?
No, the name of the character is just Octopussy.
Presumably she has like eight of them down there. One for every day of the week, and a bonus for special occasions.
She reserves #8 for high holy days
Pussy Galore was in Goldfinger.
Strike that. Reverse it.
I like that, even in-universe, in 1964, Bond's first reaction to that name is "I must be dreaming". So it's not like the filmmakers weren't aware of how absurd that name is. They just didn't give a shit.
James Bond: The name's Bond. James Bond.
Xenia Onatopp: Xenia Sergeyevna Onatopp.
James Bond: Onatopp?
Xenia Onatopp: Onatopp
I love a lady who enjoys pulling rank.
I never read them, but the filmakers were just adapting books by Ian Fleming into movies after they found out how successful they were doing. 50 shades of grey was based off a Fan Fiction novel wasn't it? And those movies came out what I would consider recently.
I think mainstream media just converted Bond into an Icon that was supposed to be more upstanding than he originally was meant to be.
The lastest plays on Bond were the Kingsman. Where a princess tells the main character he can fuck her in the asshole if he saves the world, and he just basically says brb.
Yeah, but book Bond and movie Bond are two rather different Bonds. I think Timothy Dalton probably got closest to depicting the literary Bond onscreen, but in so many words: the books are a fair bit darker in tone than some of the movies, and secondly (something Dalton thankfully did not channel), they're exceedingly racist. Yes, even more racist than You Only Live Twice let's-make-Sean-Connery-Japanese racism. One chapter of Live and Let Die set in Harlem NY is titled, I shit you not, "[n-word] Heaven".
What's racist about the japanese Connery? I only remember him dressing in a kimono.
He literally puts on Japanese face. His eyes are done up and everything.
Connery was the one they asked if he slapped his wife around and responded something like your damn right I did, and if you ask her, she'll tell you she deserved it. The public was fine with that response, and Fleming wrote the Bond series years before. I looked it up to double check, Fleming was born 12 years before Women got the right to vote. And he died around the time the Jim Crow laws were abolished. Racism and Sexism were likely very prevelant in his life.
And is where Austin Powers got the idea for Alotta Fagina
Dixie Normous
And Ivana Humpalot
No that's based on Xenia Onatopp
Onatopp?
Onatopp
How about the twins?
Fook Mi and Fook Yu.
You're on your way to a smack-bottom, and I don't care who knows it!
Twins, Basil.
And this is why I'm not bothered by Amazon taking it over.
James Bond has always been bizarre with tone. Each Bond is different. As long as they're not as Bourne-y as Craig's then I'll be fine. But them stealing bonds quips and gadgets and women... The fuck? You made British Jason Bourne with more trauma and less of an ability to cope with it.
Craig has actually said that the serious tone was a reaction to Austin Powers existing. It was too on the nose.
Which is just cowardice
As long as they're not as Bourne-y as Craig's…
Yeah. The Venn diagram of good Bond has a bit of Austin Powers and Inspector Gadget overlap, not Bourne.
The opening of casino royal is about as borne as it should get.
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Sometimes I wonder if all the James Bonds are the same person, or if "James Bond" is like "The Dread Pirate Roberts".
Poor fella lost his wife on his wedding day. He has loads of trama of his own.
On Her Majesty's Secret Service the second actor to play the role gets beaten up, after which he says "this never happened to the other guy!"
Do with that what you will..
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