this post was submitted on 09 May 2025
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Microblog Memes

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 hours ago

Dam i thought it was 45

[–] [email protected] 16 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

I’m only 32. Is it really that early?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 12 hours ago (2 children)

Oh I had my first one earlier than that!

(Don't do PhDs, people)

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 hours ago

seated 18hrs a day?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

Was your PhD in Proctology and you were on the other end?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago)

It felt like that.😅

But the truth is that the stress wounded my intestines.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 21 hours ago

Fuck you, I've still got 7 or 8 years left.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 21 hours ago

If she doesn’t fuck with little foot then she’s too young for you

[–] [email protected] 19 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Jokes on you, I'm 40 and I've had 5 of them already.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 22 hours ago (2 children)

High risk or just like the experience?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Colon Cancer runs in my family. I also have digestive illnesses that predispose me to colon cancer. So every 5 years since age 20.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 hour ago

Yeah I should have expected a serious answer but I couldn't resist. Glad you're taking care of yourself though. Cancer is awful.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 hours ago

I'm 43 and I've had one.

Bloody stool so got checked out. Was nothing.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 22 hours ago* (last edited 22 hours ago) (1 children)

No tf it is not lol, I'm still in college

[–] [email protected] 15 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

You can be in college and still be over 40.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 hours ago

Doctors HATE this one SIMPLE TRICK!

[–] [email protected] 171 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (7 children)

Hey OP, did you know that the voice of Ducky was a little girl named Judith Barsi? Did you know that Judith also voiced the little girl character, Anne-Marie, in All Dog Go To Heaven? And did you know that Judith Barsi was brutally murdered along with her mother by her father who then killed himself? And did you know that this murder happened between her lines being recorded and the release of either of these films? So when you fell in love with a little duck billed dinosaur saying "Yepyepyep" and a little orphan girl who talks to animals, you were listening to the echos of a voice of a murdered 10 year old girl.

Why did I bring this up, OP? Because you made me sad, so I'mma make you sad too.

RIP Judith

[–] [email protected] 47 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Wtf dude, I could have gone my whole life not knowing this. I hope your socks get wet.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Oh for fucks sake just kill them, no need to be unduly mean about it and pull unforgivable acts of torture.

[–] [email protected] -4 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

At least Judith's father didn't get her socks wet.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] -1 points 3 hours ago

I think it's just the wrong medium. In a standup set, this kind of joke could kill.

[–] [email protected] 78 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Damn the post calls people old and they need to see a doctor for butt stuff. And this response is to horrify and amaze.

[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 day ago

“How dare this stranger bring up my slightly advanced age! Here’s a child that was brutally murdered. Now we’re even!”

[–] [email protected] 8 points 21 hours ago* (last edited 21 hours ago) (1 children)

Even more fun, she was sexually assaulted by her father multiple times. Police were involved because of the constant abuse. It fucked with her psychologically, and her mother kept hesitating to take action

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 hours ago

We go on and on about stranger danger, but family is where the danger is at 99% of the time and kids aren't taught about this nearly enough.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 22 hours ago

OP didn't mean to make us sad :(

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 day ago

Goddamn.

I respect the brutality, if nothing else

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 19 hours ago

Goddammit so true...I just had my first colonoscopy today 😬

[–] [email protected] 65 points 1 day ago
[–] [email protected] 70 points 1 day ago (1 children)

What did I do to you to deserve this aggression on such a nice morning?

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[–] [email protected] 62 points 1 day ago (1 children)

For anyone wondering, this is the rain scene from Sausage Party (2016) when the chocolate eclair tries weed for the first time.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 day ago

Yep, yep, RIP

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Just FYI for anyone that is wondering about colonoscopies:

The American Cancer Society recommends that people at average risk* of colorectal cancer start regular screening at age 45.

…the disease is rising sharply in people under age 50, most of whom are years away from getting their first screening

So get a colonoscopy. Got mine at 45, it was absolutely NBD. They give good knockout drugs if you like, you have a nice nap and that’s it. Even the laxative is a non-event (I got a doc that prescribed miralax and sports drink combo, some of the prescribed liquids are gross) and was super easy. The worst thing about it was being hungry and wanting a cup of coffee because you can’t eat before the procedure.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Tried to get one at 42 - they required a cola-guard screening first. Requested a cola-guard screening and insurance didn't cover it until 45. Tried to manually buy one - couple thousand dollars. So basically you can't start getting screened until 45.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 23 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 0 points 10 hours ago

Eh, Germany has it worse. You get a total of two in your life, earliest at age 50 and they must be >=10 years apart.

Gotta love "socialized" health insurances whose legal priority is remaining economical.

Beats not having any health insurance though.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 22 hours ago

#insurancewin

That sucks. If you have any family history of polyps or colon cancer it might be worth trying again specifically mentioning those things if you have that option.

[–] [email protected] 56 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

I don’t need one for well over 10 years. This movie ain’t that old (released 1988)

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 hours ago

(released 1988)

TIL kid me was enjoying ancient movies

[–] [email protected] 68 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Everyone knows you can only watch a movie on release and never after that point.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (10 children)

Even then, it’s only 36 years old! Most people don’t get their colonoscopy until they’re 45 or 50. 40 if they’re more at risk.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

Only 36 years old.....that means if you watched it when you were 9, when the movie was new (which was the style at the time) you're 45, dude.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago) (1 children)

Dude kids watched it way younger than 9. By 9 most kids were on to PG-13. And it had a long tail lol it’s not like they only watched it the year it came out. Huge all through the 90’s.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

Lol. Bullshit if you think 10 year olds were watching more pg13 stuff in the 80s/early 90s than cartoons and Disney animated films. That Era was land before time, little mermaid, Oliver and company, rockadoodle, all dogs go to heaven, secret of nihm, Aladin, etc.

Also, just FYI, I am aware that like 3 of those movies aren't disney flicks.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago)

When did I say “more than cartoon and Disney animated films”? I’m saying by 9 A lot of kids are watching PG-13, which means they were watching the land before time well before 9. I understand that may have not been clear to you, but hopefully that clears it up.

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