this post was submitted on 26 Apr 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] [email protected] 48 points 2 days ago (1 children)

All spam should be responded to in kind.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago

WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE

[–] [email protected] 80 points 3 days ago (2 children)

That's actually a large boulder; it's just the size of a small boulder.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 days ago (1 children)

We won't ever know unless they included a fresh banana for size.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 days ago

Got any Carlos?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago

I need to start doing this with marketing crap. Except just rocks. Heavy, heavy rocks.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 days ago

I used to get a ton of garbage mail at an apartment i lived at. I'd just take as many of the coupon booklets from my box, jam them into one of those return envelops, and stuff it back into the outgoing mail box.

[–] [email protected] 135 points 3 days ago (4 children)

I fart in the envelopes then they are like 'yay someone wants our credit card OH NO ITS FARTS!'

[–] [email protected] 25 points 3 days ago (3 children)

I know/hope this is a joke but people used to do this at an independent, third party, mail sorting place I worked at as a teenager.

They’d mail all sorts of shit (both literal and figurative) and it was basically handled by one guy who seemed ok with it but was definitely not ok.

Mail them lead, weights, whatever. But please, no matter how despicable the company, there’s likely some at very least mildly abused worker who is just trying to earn a wage and has to deal with the vile shit people try to punish companies with.

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[–] [email protected] 150 points 3 days ago (2 children)

When I was in college my roommates and I would open all those offers standing at the mailbox, seal the empty envelopes back up, then put then right back in the mailbox for the carrier to grab the next day (or maybe mail thieves, who knows). We figured just mailing them all back was going to cost something.

[–] [email protected] 40 points 3 days ago (2 children)

I did the same, wrote in the letter for them to suck my balls... They called me back lol

[–] [email protected] 48 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Well... Did they suck your balls?

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 days ago

Unfortunately no

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 days ago

When I was first out of college I used to get 8-10 of pre-payed envelopes every week. I kept a PO box for my mail that I would check weekly.

I would have maybe 1 or two pieces of real mail and a full box of junk.

So I started folding up the junk mail I to the 8-10 prepared envelopes every week. This was all done at the counter next to my PO box and dropped mailed back right then.

It was quite cathartic.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago

"small boulder" just say rock vro 🥀🥀🥀

[–] [email protected] 52 points 3 days ago (2 children)

We can do that?

Do I just take it to the post office?

[–] [email protected] 60 points 3 days ago (1 children)

No, this is fake. You can put whatever you want in the envelope and send it back, but they won't deliver a whole package. They only prepaid postage for a letter.

Of course if you send something dangerous/threatening you might get arrested.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I'ma print out a goatse and mail it to them.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 days ago (1 children)

You'd just be traumatizing some low level data entry employee.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 days ago (7 children)

If you work for the empire, you gonna see some shit

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 days ago (1 children)

It wouldn't surprise me if one slipped through, there are overrides on stuff that get rejected and USPS is a massive organization with millions of parcels moving at any given moment.

This idea came from people mailing wooden shims back to the credit card companies because it would increase the postage cost over the normal weight... Please don't do that though. Letters go through a Dr. Seuss Esque sorter system and the shims are too sturdy and sometimes get ripped out of the mail and shot across the facility...

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 days ago (1 children)

This ... feels like you are telling me to go for it.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Feel free to stuff as much paper as you can fit, it's just wood, plastics and the like that are too rigid for the machines to handle sometimes. USPS gets money for return mailing, so it's a benfit to them as long as shims or pieces of plastic arent flying around the facility like a bullet.

[–] [email protected] 52 points 3 days ago (4 children)

Friendly reminder.

Make sure that you use a box with no identifying information. Scribbling out the barcodes isnt enough.

Mailing restrictions still apply. Mailing them back rotting fish or potentially hazardous materials is a federal offence.

Mailing any kind of threat is also against the law.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Is there a legal limit on the amount of farts I can put into an envelope?

Edit: I guess this really depends on the consistency of each fart, and the legal threshold of acceptable feces contamination (which can't be zero). Anyways, does anyone know if they make airtight envelopes?

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 days ago (2 children)

This wouldn't work, anyway. They only prepay envelope postage, not a box.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 days ago (2 children)

You can fit a lot of glitter in a envelope.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)

You'd just be annoying some data entry employee.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 days ago

Wasting their time is wasting their money.

Plus it helps the post office!

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 3 days ago

If you're concerned about your anonymity, keep in mind that companies frequently put ID numbers on their return envelopes to help match the returned mail piece with your record in their database. Sometimes the number is invisible (UV ink) so it doesn't look "mass produced" to the recipient.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 3 days ago

Doesn't help when you use a return postage slip. They have unique codes. Being "just annoying" is probably the safest bet.

[–] [email protected] 89 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Huh. I should try this with the old refrigerator in my basement that I've been needing to get rid of.

[–] [email protected] 70 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (2 children)

If it wasn't shitty towards the post office people I would support it.

But under 10 lbs...

[–] [email protected] 33 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (8 children)

Sadly we have a weight and size limit on these, but if you can load a mini fridge and keep it under 70lbs it should be accepted.

Legally this is not shipping advice and purely a shitpost

[–] [email protected] 31 points 3 days ago
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[–] [email protected] 33 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Now you have to cut up your refrigerator into 10lbs pieces

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[–] [email protected] 68 points 3 days ago (1 children)

IF you're going to do this, make sure use some sort of sealed package (like the box in the photo). You used to be able to slap these things on like a sheet of plywood and just send it as is but now if the package isn't sealed and is obvious misuse the post office can just throw it in the dumpster. If its a sealed package then the post office has to deliver it and the permit holder has to pay the charges. https://about.usps.com/postal-bulletin/2019/pb22525/html/updt_001.htm

[–] [email protected] 36 points 3 days ago (4 children)

Like 70lbs of neutronium in a USPS flat rate box?

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[–] [email protected] 61 points 3 days ago

I just put another company's junk mail in their envelope and send it to them so they know how it feels.

[–] [email protected] 51 points 3 days ago (2 children)

This is how we save the USPS.

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[–] [email protected] 57 points 3 days ago (6 children)

Let's all do our part to help little boulders travel

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago

Reminds me of a webcomic I used to read where the mad scientistesque physics student realized he could use the lead bricks he'd been using to prop open doors for exactly this purpose.

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