this post was submitted on 28 Mar 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago

Just FYI if your package is “discrete” your delivery person is “discretely” laughing at you

[–] [email protected] 147 points 4 days ago (6 children)

"Pull forward after fueling or get shot"?

[–] [email protected] 84 points 4 days ago (19 children)

Station owner sounds like a fake tough guy who cries about DEI.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

Definitely a fake tough guy, but not in the way you meant. The whole image is fake.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 4 days ago

So a standard Trump supporter?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 days ago

Maybe, but not based on the sign. That's a standard trucker joke about waiting for pumps.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Sure, he's like that on the surface, but I bet his station is willing to accept huge, suggestively shaped loads, if you know what I mean.

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

... nobody came forward to say that the image is in fact photoshopped? It's part of the joke. It's from a facebook group that does these things.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 4 days ago

"Sorry, my cock is too big for that"

[–] [email protected] 23 points 4 days ago (5 children)

It's a joke about truckers that fuel and then fuck around while the guy behind them is fuming with impatience. LOL, I've been that guy.

"OH FFS MOVE!"

Besides, truckers are on more of a schedule than the rest of us tooling around.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 days ago

Thank you! This makes the most sense. I was wondering what was wrong with "please pull forward when done fueling" without threatening violence. A common annoyance plus and inside joke makes a lot more sense.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 days ago

Probably flu shot, maybe Covid booster?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 days ago

Guessing Texas

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago

Your mom been on Amazon again?

[–] [email protected] 81 points 4 days ago (1 children)

No, they said discrete. Each mammoth dildo is individually wrapped.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

Ah, -screte/-screet. Motherfucker.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 days ago
[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

I think its a dick move.

[–] [email protected] 66 points 4 days ago (2 children)

That's just the latest Bezos rocket under wraps. The final version will achieve perfect penis proportions for getting deep into space.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 4 days ago

assuming it doesn’t just blow its load all over the Caribbean

[–] [email protected] 15 points 4 days ago (2 children)

BREAKING: “Dr.Evil is suing Jeff Bezos for IP infringement. Dr.Evil gives statement on the matter. - “What’s next freaking lasers on freaking sharks!?”” More at 11pm.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago

Dr. Evil demands compensation of

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Jeff Bezos is just Dr. Evil without the education.

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[–] [email protected] 32 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Is it legal to shot someone after you post a sign?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 days ago

yep, double tap recommended at a gas station

[–] [email protected] 28 points 4 days ago

That's contraband in the state of Texas.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 4 days ago (1 children)

LPT.

If you're using a toy that big, the neighbors and the police already know what's going on

Responding for a friend

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

Life Pro Tip.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 days ago (1 children)

It's the dildo of consequence heading for D.C. I hope it gets there soon.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago

The dildo of consequence ALWAYS arrives un-lubed.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 4 days ago

"It's a twenty-foot cock and balls man. It don't look like nothing else."

[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 days ago (2 children)

What is it actually? Is it some price of industrial equipment that just happens to look like a Johnson? Or is it part of a parade float or something?

[–] [email protected] 22 points 4 days ago (3 children)

What is that thing in the sky? It looks like a huge...

JOHNSON!

Yes sir?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

Woody? Woody Harrelson?

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

Maybe a planter? Something like this which folds out to this.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I appreciate the effort but i kinda hope that the satanic temple or someone is up to some epic trolling instead

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago

I wonder if this is Nevada, where you see them transporting military equipment on trucks all the time. Like missiles and bombs. Wondering if someone got creative with the covering.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 days ago

Paging Dr. Evil.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 days ago

Maybe it’s Nicole’s.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I hope your mom is enjoying her new dildo.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago

That's actually the return trip to Wish.com. Those pictures always overpromise, she didn't expect the miniature version.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 days ago

Ma! MA!! Ma, yer mail's here!

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