653
submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[-] [email protected] 268 points 2 months ago

It's a riddle. It was made of ice.

[-] [email protected] 72 points 2 months ago
[-] [email protected] 55 points 2 months ago

... some stay dry, others feel the pain.

[-] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago

😂🍫🌧️

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[-] [email protected] 205 points 2 months ago

I like how he clarifies that he lives alone.

"Sure, one of my roommates could have come in and poked around in my butthole while I was sleeping. But no one was in a position to do such a thing."

[-] [email protected] 62 points 2 months ago

Occam's razor and all that

[-] [email protected] 31 points 2 months ago
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[-] [email protected] 30 points 2 months ago

Hey I had a roommate that would steal my inserted butt plugs while I was sleeping.

[-] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago
[-] [email protected] 57 points 2 months ago

Subscribe to my only fans to find out more.

[-] [email protected] 194 points 2 months ago

Anon needs to go to a hospital soon

[-] [email protected] 153 points 2 months ago

but sadly, Anon is American

[-] [email protected] 123 points 2 months ago

The worst condition of them all.

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[-] [email protected] 121 points 2 months ago
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[-] [email protected] 94 points 2 months ago

Buttplug fairy takes the buttplug and leaves you with a shart.

Know your local mythology.

[-] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)
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[-] [email protected] 79 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Did it have a flared end?

If yes:

It's in the toilet, he sleep walked and took a shit and doesn't remember.

or

He pooped it out while sleeping and his dog ate it.

If no:

Butt plug goblins.

They can be warded away with a metamucil potion.

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[-] [email protected] 65 points 2 months ago

Mmmm, that's some fresh greentext too!

[-] [email protected] 40 points 2 months ago

So fresh it's still green

[-] [email protected] 19 points 2 months ago

Oh wow. I've never seen one this fresh!

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[-] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago

Yeah it doesn't have the remnants of being compressed to .jpg over 1000 times over. Just doesn't have the same feeling with it though.

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[-] [email protected] 63 points 2 months ago

It's another carbon monoxide poisoning poisoning

[-] [email protected] 46 points 2 months ago

Do people actually do this?

[-] [email protected] 66 points 2 months ago

People aren't buying all those butt plugs for decoration. People fall asleep. I don't imagine many people sleep with them on purpose, but certaintly possible to pass out with a butt plug in place.

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[-] [email protected] 47 points 2 months ago

Maybe? This came from 4Chan so it's very possible it could be entirely made up lol

[-] [email protected] 27 points 2 months ago

"The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact."

Literally on 4chan as a header.

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[-] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago

Anything on 4chan I assume isn't real, but pretend it is. More fun that way.

[-] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago

4chan makes me believe it more in this case

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[-] [email protected] 22 points 2 months ago
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[-] [email protected] 43 points 2 months ago

Anon will need a plumber because he got up in a daze to use the bathroom.

[-] [email protected] 34 points 2 months ago

i rate this greentext fake on scale of 1 to gay

[-] [email protected] 30 points 2 months ago
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[-] [email protected] 25 points 2 months ago

I dunno how exhausted or drunk you’d have to be to pass out with one of those things inserted. Seems like it’d feel like a turd half out and your body would prefer you deal with that and not fall asleep.

[-] [email protected] 36 points 2 months ago

Spoken like somebody who's never used a butt plug

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[-] [email protected] 18 points 2 months ago

Nah good ones are pretty comfy and after a while if you don't cause it to shift you forget it's there

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[-] [email protected] 23 points 2 months ago

Was getting in the way of the aliens probing anon

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[-] [email protected] 19 points 2 months ago

Have you checked for any holes in your wall? Maybe you coughed or sneezed while sleeping.

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[-] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago

butt plug tom strikes again

[-] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago

It's under the bed.

[-] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago
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this post was submitted on 09 Mar 2025
653 points (97.0% liked)

Greentext

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