And apparently, also when you think that 'They' is a perfectly serviceable gender-neutral singular pronoun, but are willing to use other pronouns if asked to.
EDIT: Other removable offenses on Blahaj now include questioning mod/admin decisions and quoting the modlog as a reason why you're leaving.
We really need to stop complaining about the pronouns shit, the real problem with dragonfucker isn't with the preferred pronouns, it's the fact that dragonfucker is known to harass individuals who call them out on their trolling or sealioning or disagree with them in any way they can't spin as aggressive or hateful.
I was harassed by an alt of this person because I called them out for their behavior when they decided to make a public attack post on me (now deleted) because I preemptively banned their user account and "spouse" account from communities I moderated for trolling, sealioning, and bad faith arguments.
I clarified that politely and reasonably and also properly contacted pawb.social's admins (since the mentions in their comment weren't done properly) and the following response was to create @[email protected] and create [email protected] and start spamming it with abusive content attempting to defame, humiliate, intimidate, or even just scare me. That account also sent me porn in my DMs and made rude insults towards me. I was also told to kill myself and also sent death threats, including an invitation for admins to give out my IP address so I could be hunted down and tortured.
I'm almost certain that dragonfucker is the one who did this since it happened immediately after the post which was made on [email protected] complaining about the bans, and also there were many slip-ups by that account which indicated it was an alt belonging to dragonfucker. Unfortunately beyond that dragonfucker likely did a good job at covering their tracks, or Lemmy just sucks at identifying people, probably both, but I'm confident enough that I'd be willing to bet real money it was dragonfucker, the circumstances are way too suspicious.
Edit:
Here are some of the messages and comment mentions from the alt account mentioned in the post, fair warning, they're not pleasant. Pornographic imagery has been censored.
CW: Abusive content, threats, suicide encouragement, harassment
A lot of contextual information for these isn't here, to get it the admins of pawb.social and discuss.online would need to be contacted as the content and user accounts associated have been banned.
Jesus Christ yeah that's a lot worse than whatever OP is whining about
Yeah it's way worse, the pronoun thing that people are whining about isn't even an actual issue. This type of extreme aggression absolutely is. And even though these offenses were committed on an alt and can't exactly be concretely proven, dragonfucker has committed other offenses on the [email protected] main account, like encouraging trans people to commit murder-suicide and harassment of user and moderator @[email protected] (something I watched happen in front of me). Dragonfucker is a bad person and it's really upsetting and concerning that most people don't understand why, instead just complaining about neopronouns.
dragonfucker is known to harass individuals who call them out
The fact that calling them "them" would get your comment deleted is definitely also a problem.
But yeah, this whole mess revolves around one unambiguous asshole. The same crybully keeps coming back with new accounts and new gimmicks to pull the same shit. And it works - because the Blahaj admin takes the most hardline stance possible, and treats all criticism of it as bigotry. So this apparently-unstoppable douchebag just has to whine that someone said "fuck you, troll", and Ada acts like the rudest part was saying "you."
As if it's a slur.
Dragon is a purity test troll:
By using absurd conversational standards backed by the reasoning of "nontraditional identification / self", they troll both you, and mods into playing the purity "jump how high" game. If the mods flinch, and tell them to tone it down, the community will eat them alive. If they call you out, the mod has to pull the trigger.
I'm not saying the mods are free from blame, but they are so high on their own supply that banning you is the only option.
Non binary folks deserve respect. Non traditional pronouns are worth respect. The way dragon uses them is a problem because they are inconsistent with any logic... They use them semantically wrong
I don't think "nontraditional" quite covers it. He, she, they is enough to cover the whole spectrum and anything beyond that is a blatant call for attention that should be discouraged at this point.
There is room to call for more pronouns, but individual and unique monikers are not that. Japan has a range of pronouns that are more useful (or at least more interesting) than what English has, and some languages lack even English's anemic selection (like, French doesn't have an official neutral pronoun apparently).
There's a comment that I read recently that points out how "Anon" (among other words) is technically a pronoun.
I find it interesting, and I thought you might as well.
It's an interesting point, but in my view, Anon is a pseudonym rather than a pronoun, as it's used in place of their actual name.
admin makes a post saying they will enforce the rules around banning people who refuse to use neo pronouns, in a meta community for trans people, and every cis loser has to jump in and play the victim when they get banned for breaking the rules in the post was made to say the rules would be enforced. cry harder.
Just going to drop this here, it seems relevant.
The effect created by such Internet trolls is not very big, but they manage to make certain forums meaningless because people stop commenting on the articles when these trolls sit there and constantly create an aggressive, hostile atmosphere toward those whom they don’t like. The trolls react to certain news with torrents of mud and abuse. This makes it meaningless for a reasonable person to comment on anything there.
I think there are some people here who have become kung fu masters at the art of straddling the line of acceptable behavior, so that they can remain on the network making everyone’s life unpleasant and bringing nothing of value, while still having a passably plausible claim that they “have a right to be here.” It carries the added bonus of creating division between different factions because some people stick up for them. They’ve often figured out that agglomerating onto tribal hot-buttons like veganism or trans rights is a great way to get knee-jerk support from other members, or at least hesitation to be too quick to ban them, so they can continue to overstay their welcome.
while still having a passably plausible claim that they “have a right to be here.”
... and that you do not, because you called them "they."
This is Blahaj's lone overstep and they're determined to make it a disaster.
Dragonfucker is definitely a troll that walks the line. He should not be handled with kids gloves, he knows exactly what he's doing.
I've said before that dragonfucker is likely an alt of DroneRights just trying a slightly different tactic, I stand by this assessment due to the extensive behavior patterns exhibited by this individual. Including the fact that after I responded to their post on pawb.social accusing me of abuse since I banned their account preemptively, the community [email protected] was created and started posting evil and disgusting things about me while pinging me on every fediverse account I had, as well as outing and harassing anyone who dared report the community. I was also greeted with many disgusting DMs featuring porn. I was also sent death threats.
Horrible messages and mentions by drag's harassment alt
Context: Original post was asking admins to give out my IP address so drag could hunt me down and kill me.
Let us be clear, the reason people say Dragonfucker is a troll is not because of the pronoun thing, that's a not issue and it detracts from the real issue which is the sealioning and abusive behavior they exhibit.
Oh and I'm almost certain this is the same person as dragonfucker because it happened right after the original post, and this account made some fatal slip-ups. No one actually thinks this wasn't dragonfucker, I'd be willing to bet money that it was. I can't think of anyone else who would have a motive to do that to me in that moment.
War of the Dragons right here.
I think a new community called [email protected] needs to be created to explore all these mysteries. It's kinda fun
Drag is banned on 196
The issue is just how "free" speech should be, also sometimes referred to as the Nazi bar effect. By allowing all types of "freedom", others feel not free anymore to speak up, for fear of what will ensue.
Edit: and I thought it was obvious but to make extra clear, it's also called the paradox of intolerance - somehow allowing people unlimited freedom to speak results in less people being willing to do so.
YDI.
gatekeeping sure is when you tell someone their gender isn’t real. especially under a post that specifically says “hey don’t tell people their gender isn’t real.”
edit: removing my comments below because the discussion is no longer about respecting trans identities and is just a slapfight. fuck transphobes and get over yourselves on a single tiny user who you should have blocked months ago if you actually had a problem.
I think that account is a social experiment designed to see how fucking bizarre of a line of bullshit can they force down other people's throats
I saw this thread very early, didn’t comment though.
Fact is, language doesn’t work by fiat. We already have a genderless pronoun, and it’s the singular they. This has been used at least as far back as Shakespeare.
I agree with the mods on this one. You don't go into people's spaces and tell them they're living wrong unless they're actively hurting other people. And at the end of the day, using a different word as a pronoun isn't going to hurt you. Heck if you have an app you can just tag them with it.
Please refer to my comment on this related post: https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/post/34327347/15649022
Yeah, they've kinda lost the point.
Don't know that it's power tripping because it's a matter of whether or not you believe that neopronouns are or are not part of trans rights and trans issues. If you do, then they're maintaining their space as a place for trans and trans adjacent folks to not have to deal with the bullshit of constantly defending and fighting for every single thing.
So I get it. Once you believe that, and you're maintaining a space for trans people, you absolutely have to draw that line.
I don't agree with it, but that's not the point. It doesn't matter if I agree or not. It only matters that blahaj is a trans space first and above anything else, and they do buy into neopronouns.
They've also bought into protecting a couple of trolls because of that, but that's the down side.
But, yeah, it's a fucking mess when you can't even use a broadly accepted neutral term as the default until you have a specific one. Which, being real, keeping track of random online user names and their choice of pronouns just isn't worth it. Why the fuck should anyone bother?
Irl? Absolutely. You've got faces to connect things to. But online, with people that are essentially acquaintances at best, how the fuck are you going to remember that doggyboy19 is the one that uses xexu, but puppyboy18 uses xenu? My dyslexic ass already has enough trouble keeping track of the user names that don't have partterns that match established words. Neopronouns amount to a random string of lines and circles to me, there's no fucking pattern to memorize at all, there's nothing I can use to keep track of them.
Which is going off the topic of your post here, but it's one of the reasons "they" is a shit ton better. You don't have dyslexics, people with English as a second or third language trying to have a nice conversation and being treated like an asshole because they can't follow the randomly chosen garbles used by some of the more absurd neopronoun folks.
Gatekeeping whether dragonfucker is a gender is a weird hill to die for. Perhaps equally odd is permabanning for it.
Not featured is the key piece of information. Blahaj is specifically a trans safe space. Pronouns are kind of a big deal in that community. Telling them they aren't really LGBTQ unless you approve of their pronouns is not going to go over well.
It is all good, everybody is just learning to avoid such places. This how fediverse is developed.
It would be, if that were what happened. What actually happened is someone on a trans instance with a non-binary identity (who, i might note, had the username dragonfucker, afaict extending that term to drag's gender identity is an embellishment) uses neopronouns, some people got butthurt about it and argued with drag about drag's identity being "real", and the admin rightfully drew a line in the sand about misgendering people.
The tl;dr is this dude got told not to intentionally misgender people whether he thinks someone's identity is valid or not, and he lost his shit over not being allowed to gatekeep queer people on a queer instance and left of his own accord.
Doesn't bother me. If it did, I'd block them. I actually found the whole thing a rather entertaining spectacle of flavor. I'm a middle age cis white guy. If you want to be called tuba, or tata, or whatever, I don't care. If you use a foreign language like Chinese or Arabic I dislike my own ignorance and inability to understand, but I still respect the person's decision.
Ultimately language rules are only a loose correlation based on use and culture. Rules and norms do not create language or cultures, people do. I only see people resisting the patently unfamiliar. "Dragonfucker" or any other pronoun is no different to me than a nickname. If something so simple is able to make just one person feel a little better about their life for a few moments, I'm happy to oblige. The Hippocratic aphorism "first do no harm" does not appear violated in my opinion. If annoyed, block them.
Yeah I will use preferred pronouns for people and users I respect when referring to them. It, xim, drag, doesn't matter.
My contentious take is that using "they/them" in place of the preferred pronoun is not misgendering. I will use it to refer to people identifying as women, men, non-binary, or anything else, it should be neutral. I try to be inclusive as a best effort, and for all intents and purposes treat them as my equal. However, I'm not on a "nickname" basis with everyone and will just block if their asks become not worth my time.
I'll disagree on that, but it's complicated. I'm a trans woman that's semi passing. When I'm dressed even remotely androgynous or if I haven't told a person irl that my pronouns are she/her, or even if I think they may have forgotten then I don't consider it misgendering. But sometimes people are clearly refusing to address me with feminine pronouns, despite me having told them several times, presenting myself femininely, and them correctly gendering the cis and cis passing women near me.
I see using they/them as choosing not to engage with gender at all, so I cannot fathom a circumstance in which it would be misgendering to use such pronouns. If the argument against is that someone in refusing to address one by their preferred gender, I can see some merit in that position, but ultimately I believe one cannot force another to engage with them in terms of gender.
Now, if one were to intentionally use masculine pronouns to refer to someone who wishes to be addressed in feminine or nonbinary terms, of course that meets the definition of active misgendering. But I believe anyone has the right to simply refuse to interact with another with regards to gender by using common, nongendered pronouns respectfully.
Yeah, I got, I'm guessing perma banned by Ada(?), from there, because I asked to many questions (just one post) about a statement that made no fucking sense to me, on someones post.
Oh! And aggressive disgusting responses back to my questions were way more hateful and vile than anything I've ever posted anywhere, especially directly to another person. Misgendered me, verbal attacks, etc. Went to report that shit, couldn't because of ban. Didn't see those folks banned or their comments removed though. Guess hate speech and violence is ok to them, if your not trans enough for their elite dragon-fucking club.
I'm on the spectrum. I get upset when I can't make sense of shit and DO indeed ask a lot of questions that seem dumb or rude to others. My brain is trying to figure out the rules and meanings of this new idea.... get a grasp of the boundaries.
Thought Blahaj would be a safe place to hang around for an oddball like me, all the inclusitivity talk n shit. Big mistake! Honestly thought about leaving lemmy, think I had more response to that than anything else I've said on here, and it was truly awful to read. Made me question myself and feel really really shitty for not understanding then getting attacked because my questions are to snarky(?), the reason I usually escape TOO here, and rarely respond or post even then. Then my adult brain kicked in and I realize they are a bunch of idiots who think a dragon is real and providing sage advice, and I'll just block that shit. Miss some of those memes though.
Some of the most performatively inclusive communities are the most hateful in substance. It’s like US Christians. Because they have a badge of good-person-ness, it’s perfectly okay for them to do whatever to you.
Dragonfucker strikes again. The number of posts I've seen by him or about him in here is... something
It be super useful having a shared block list like AdBlockers across all social media. Certainly make things a lot more pleasant.
PieFed is working on building such a thing automatically: https://join.piefed.social/2024/06/22/piefed-features-for-growing-healthy-communities/, although instead of blocking it puts a label next to the username.
lol. There's someone getting banned for standing up to a pedophile and here you are whining about someone having a preferred way to be called.
This is a community in the spirit of "Am I The Asshole" where people can post their own bans from lemmy or reddit or whatever and get some feedback from others whether the ban was justified or not.
Sometimes one just wants to be able to challenge the arguments some mod made and this could be the place for that.
All posts should follow this basic structure:
Expect to receive feedback about your posts, they might even be negative.
Make sure you follow this instance's code of conduct. In other words we won't allow bellyaching about being sanctioned for hate speech or bigotry.
YTPB matrix channel: For real-time discussions about bastards or to appeal mod actions in YPTB itself.
Some acronyms you might see.
Relevant comms