what's up ladies? today I'm single yet completely and utterly unprepared to mingle
this post was submitted on 06 Jan 2025
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traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns
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Trans Megathread for the Week of 2025-01-06 to 2025-01-12 - Children of Time by Adrian Tchaikovsky
(hexbear.net)
Children of Time is a 2015 science fiction novel by Adrian Tchaikovsky.
In the distant future, humanity seeks to create new habitats for itself on distant planets, terraforming them and seeding them with life. Dr. Avrana Kern is heading one such project, orbiting the tentatively named "Kern's World", where the plan is to release monkeys 
infected with a nanovirus that will accelerate their evolution. Through an act of sabotage from an anti-technology group that has also destroyed much of Earth, the monkeys are never released, and the virus instead infects a species of spider, Portia labiata. The book follows the evolution of the spiders and their eventual civilisation, as well as a remnant of humanity that fled to Kern's World hoping to find paradise.
also children of ruin and children of memory, the sequels, are really good
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Can you stop calling me out
I'm calling myself out and you're getting caught in the crossfire
Muddled philosophy brain go brrr.
I must know everything about everything else before I know anything about gender or sexuality. I think itβs weird most people arenβt foundationalists, but I suppose itβs a matter of efficiency.
Wearing swords should come back in fashion. My outfit would look much more complete with a smallsword.
matching scarf and moonlight greatsword
dramatically resting your hand on the sword hilt on your hip is peak fashion
Just paid my semester's tuition and... I have more money than I thought I would, I've got an entire extra month's rent compared to what I expected and then some more to cover all my books. I'm starting to feel actually kind of okay being independent? A lot of the worry about if I'd be able to be okay is gone now, replaced, admittedly by other worries, but I feel okay about my situation, even if it's not super secure or the most comfortable, its become livable. Especially since the past few weeks finally gave me my first real break in over a year and I was able to rest a little.
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dysmorphia
Oh God I reeeeealllly hate the way I look so much. I got a look at my side profile today and I just hate the way I look, I can't believe I appear to other people like this. I have way too much fat on my face, my neck is too wide so my face just looks like a blob. I'm also overweight and just fucking hate the way my body looks
i have the irresistible urge to be gay AND to do crime... i wonder what that's about
spoiler
Having to take language classes for my degree might actually break the my horrible procrastination on learning Spanish. Then again, I've always been bad at learning languages and especially speaking them, so it could also just be a way to tank my GPA.
Intrinsic motivation is "better" than extrinsic motivation, but extrinsic motivation is "better" than no motivation.
I think. I was a pretty terrible student
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I've finally started to recover. Still have a cough, throat still feels weird, but my energy is coming back.
Dyed my hair red. It was pretty red, but then I washed it, and it came out a bit more purple-red. Thought this was because I had dyed purple a but ago (it was really faded), but then I realized that the color-preserving conditioner that came with the purple dye might actually have purple dye in it. Color looks really cool though, almost exactly what I had originally expected.
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Inside of you are two wolves:
One of them wants to form a big cuddle pile with all your trans cuties and make animal noises
the other wants to wave a giant red banner in front of a burning skyline while calling the masses to the barricades 
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God damn it I'm so late and forgot to do my new thread love post, what's wrong with me?
i was beginning to think you hated us 
Sorry sorry 
But he loves us until we meet again :). [I am assuming you havenβt met since, in which case you may have a source of ambiguity]
Had a dream I had an avatar to go out in my place to do stuff for me, felt nice since I didn't have to mask so much 
only downside was resisting the urge to bunnyhop everywhere to save time 
Realizing there was a period of my life where I'd skip everywhere since I thought it was both fun to do and got me around faster 
what if I'm actually in some sort of simulation
Got a metallic blue nail polish that by itself looks pretty great but I'm no longer content with just one polish so I added another glitter polish on top of it. Thing with glitter polish I feel is that it should really be labeled as more a top coat than anything, imagining just applying the glitter polish on my nails would be pretty underwhelming.
s*x
I went to a dance class with my partner last night and as it was getting near the end they whispered in my ear, "How about we continue this with just the two of us and more tongue?" 
Then we went back to my place and we made love for two hours and I even got a little 
time. I'm feeling exhausted in the best way right now.
so i was walking through the house earlier when i noticed that one board that my parents insist on keeping which tracks how tall me and my siblings were through time with the little marks and the date of when the mark was kept? out of curiosity I went and I checked my height as it stands now and... I've apparently lost about half an inch since I was 17. God I guess I wasn't going crazy, I do feel faintly just a bit shorter since starting HRT. It's totally possible it might just be normal aging things but I think it might be true, HRT does make you shrink a little
I love you all so much. Thank you for helping me be my best self and finding true happiness πππ
just received a physical copy of our megathread feature so i can actually finish it. realizing my ADHD isn't too friendly with audiobooks so excited to finally finish it!
why is olympic swimming pool a measurement people use. all i know is they're big. i've never swum in one
so cold 
Bunch of fashion blathering
I thought puffy head bands were the ultimate head feminizer but i have discovered barettes and ohhhh my it's so lovely.
I got a light blue dress for myself and I have just been rolling in euphoria. Today is my 6 month HRT anniversary and it's only getting stronger as i figure out more feminine combos.
It's a little weird being so old and transitioning directly into an old lady I sort of worry about not dressing my age. I don't act weird or anything though when i go out (beyond the regular autism and adhd and bipolar stuff i reckon) so im trying to be a good ambassador. My bffs say im not overdoing it π€π»
One thing that is very difficult is how much trouble it is keeping nice clothes clean!!! I have had to rescue my new dress twice already, once from au jus splashing onto the hem and just this morning from leaning against the car bumper while getting groceries. You have to be sooooo careful at all times which i find tough as i was a slob who didn't give any fucks about myself or my appearance before.
It's so worth it when a girl compliments your dress or your outfit or makeup though i treasure that shit sooo much. I joked with my partner (who is not into it but being nice) about detransitioning and she said that she didn't believe I could if I wanted to. She said I have a woman's heart and there's no putting that genie back in the bottle. She is right of course.
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bad mental health, meltdown, alcohol
Kinda snapped last night and had a little violent meltdown and feel bad about it and embarrassed by how fucking juvenile and pathetic it was
I don't even really remember what triggered it
I ate some dinner and got drunk but not like, sloppy drunk and it was all pretty normal and like the next thing I knew something in me kinda snapped and I was out in the garage beating the shit out of a spare door that's propped up against the shelves out there absolutely raging and yelling
Bruised my hand pretty bad but I don't think I broke anything thankfully but jfc
Gonna commit to no booze now, that's never really happened to me before, I've always been more of either a "aww I love you" drunk or a maudlin kinda ruminating drunk, never an angry one and that kinda scared the shit out of me
Like, how long was that building up for? How much more shit like that is just lurking in the back of my head festering? (I know I'm a big gymrat but for the record, no, I'm not on gear, so it's not roid rage)
Idk, fuck
This shit sucks ass
I'm way too old for feeling like a ridiculous angsty teenager
Finally have my fertility preservation consult later today. I hope the process is quick from this point on because putting HRT on hold for a month for this was not very cash money. Just let me in the hospital goon closet a couple times so I don't have to worry about this anymore
I just couldn't be bothered, maybe I will regret that later but also whatever. Respect to everyone who wants kids but I figure if I ever get my shit together to that degree we'll figure something out lol
spoiler really tragic, like death
I (parasocially, but like a real small community) knew someone who passed away (of unrelated illness) before getting on HRT, in large part because she couldn't afford the fertility stuff and was saving up for it. And while she was still living her life and was still out and transitioned for years at that point (a real inspiration to me on that front tbh) and I'm sure wouldn't have wanted anyone to see her as some tragic case that died waiting for hrt, I couldn't help but be influenced a bit by that memory.
:::CW: sad
chat
CHAT
between these two guitars which would you buy
https://www.epiphone.com/en-US/p/Electric-Guitar/EPI8U8980/Tobacco-Burst
I'm drawn to the LPJ for the (idea of its) simplicity, but on paper the Gretsch would be more versatile, also I like the look a bit more
fwiw I have a squier stat with 3 single coils in the typical strat config, but I like using the bridge only most often, which is why I feel like even tough the gretsch would be more versatile, the LPJ would still suit me fine