I love how it's an open secret that basically everyone fucking loves Luigi Mangione and we don't even know if he did it.
this post was submitted on 18 Dec 2024
1130 points (99.6% liked)
The Onion
4703 readers
1045 users here now
The Onion
A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
Did what?
Order a mcrib
Indeed, he could have just gotten a small fries.
Now this is an Onion headline.
Right? Solid satire, but just to give credit where it's due, this is from hard-drive.net which is a gaming/tech focused spin-off of a music satire site called The Hard Times. They consistently crack me up so just wanted to take the opportunity to credit them.
Point taken. I meant Onion in the same way you say Kleenex instead of tissue. It’s now a general term for any satirical news article.
Oh no worries, I totally get it! I was just linking for the sake of anyone reading the comments because those are both quality sites that are worth reading. I've found the name of this community can be kind of misleading, so it's not uncommon for people to be unaware of how many quality satire sites are out there besides The Onion.
if Mr. Mangione had spent more time pulling on his bootstraps and less time feeling sorry for himself and obsessing over his debilitating chronic back pain that UnitedHealthcare refused to cover treatment of – for I’m sure for very good reasons – he might have one day helmed a parasitic corporation of his own. Sadly, he chose another path.”
Love the satire, but one important point: Luigi didn't have UHC insurance. So if he did do this, it wasn't even because of a personal grudge - it was to strike back at a system in general that fucked him over.
Huh. I haven’t seen that factoid before.
It distances the motive from personal vendetta. It provides support to the narrative that he did this for principles, and not revenge.
Looked it up to double check, as it's what I remembered reading.
The New York Police Department told CBS News that there are no indications that Mangione was a UnitedHealthcare customer.
Officials believe Mangione may have targeted the company because of its status as the largest health insurer in the United States.
I would imagine it might be because United denies claims more than most (all?) other major insurance providers. I mean, it could be because of that, if Luigi did it, but he's innocent so this is purely hypothetical.
They were absolutely the best choice to target, the worst of the worst.
All.
Ugh... I don't think he deserves the death penalty
Deserve, by what standard? Moral, religious, legal? How do we measure deserve
Oh... It was a joke... Because having united health care as your insurance is basically a death sentence
Cruel and unusual punishment.
how long has trump being prosecuted? Years and years and years....Luigi should run for president, effective immediately so they have to delay the verdicts...
There are plenty of toll evaders, homeless, minorities, and otherwise lesser people whose lives you could have taken, and were that the case I would not feel so inclined to mete out such a harsh sentence but in this instance you leave me no choice but to impose the harshest ruling possible.
Never change, The Onion, never change!
Edit: alright, I assumed it was the Onion based on the community. But sure, it was some other site.
You mean hard-drive?
hard drive 😔
Bold of you to assume my drive gets hard....
Reading is hard.
It's a sub called the onion brother, people assuming the articles posted being from the onion is the default
Half of the posts aren't even from the onion here
But the community name sure is the onion right? So if someone comes in here and assumes the article is from the onion then that's a pretty reasonable assumption right?
I thought so too but then I counted. Apparently there are a lot more satire sites that are gaining popularity.
Hard drive
Glorious.
That's Vader-level "I have altered the deal. Pray I do not alter it further."
A fate almost worse than death.
hahaha spot on
Meh, letting him off too easily. There's no way he survives 25 years under those conditions.