this post was submitted on 11 Nov 2024
303 points (85.6% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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all 43 comments
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[–] [email protected] 110 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Not posting this was free.

[–] [email protected] 48 points 4 days ago (3 children)

For everything else, there's MasterCard

[–] [email protected] 19 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Yeah, try sliding your Mastercard into your urethra.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago

Using the wrong tool when a vagina can do that all day long with no effort whatsoever.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago

You do you)

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 days ago

Hotel? Trivago

[–] [email protected] 47 points 4 days ago

I sure miss 5 seconds ago when I haven't seen this post yet

[–] [email protected] 41 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

I remember when I learned what sounding is.

I fondly remember a time period before that.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

That was today for me So you all must suffer too

[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 days ago

My condolences.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 4 days ago
[–] [email protected] 20 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

aight fellas, if you want to get into sounding, do not and i repeat do not just insert random objects down your pee hole.

buy a proper sounding kit, either smooth metal or silicone rods will do, and it is often recommended to also use sterile lubricant with them. remember to sterilize those rods too.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 4 days ago

Speaking of which

GNzULcwakAI2v9A

[–] [email protected] 22 points 4 days ago

What a terrible day to have eyes...

[–] [email protected] 31 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 days ago

Not ~~this~~ piss again

[–] [email protected] 27 points 4 days ago

Actual strawman just dropped

[–] [email protected] 27 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

I too am a connoisseur of urinary tract infections. /s

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 days ago
[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 days ago

That's painful sounding

[–] [email protected] 17 points 4 days ago

Sometimes I wish I have never learned this language

[–] [email protected] 17 points 4 days ago

Sounds like a marimba when you get to the bendy bit.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 days ago

This ain't a shitpost. It's a pisspost.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Porn hub should start selling penis sound-pods. A flexible Bluetooth enabled rod that you stick in your penis to receive stimulation via musical sound waves translated into whatever waves are best received via your dick.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 days ago

New chess grandmaster strat just dropped

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (2 children)

Oh how I wish it made beautiful ~~cello~~ double bass sounds.

Instead my sounds exactly like I'm playing a soda cup with that plastic lid.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

What kind of straw? Bamboo, stainless steel, glass, silicon, sugarcane, paper, wheat, pasta, plastic, or maybe crazy straw?... I am curious.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 days ago (1 children)

bamboo, maximise the splinters, ribed for his pleasure.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Don't forget that it's just as much about technique as it is about the instrument(s).

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 days ago (1 children)

That is a cello, it's Yo-yo Ma in the picture.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Oh, right, forgot about that dude.

I should also call my mom (unrelated to urethra music).
And yo mom (related to urethra music).

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 days ago

Excuse me while I go bleach my eye holes.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 days ago

Make me remember to gift you a catheter bag for Christmas. You'll see how great it is: a straw and diaper all in one!

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 days ago

No, no no no no!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago

Is that where the name comes from?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 days ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 days ago

Holleerrrrinnn