this post was submitted on 28 Oct 2024
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the_dunk_tank

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It's the dunk tank.

This is where you come to post big-brained hot takes by chuds, libs, or even fellow leftists, and tear them to itty-bitty pieces with precision dunkstrikes.

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago)

Do you think his bazingness made it uhhh like fisto?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 23 hours ago

Welp. People are much more susceptible to bullshit marketing than I ever could have imagined

Immediate mass re-education is the only thing that can save the burger brain

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago

DO NOT OBSERVE THE PORCELAIN MAN

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 day ago

Monitor your breathing, heart rate, sleep patterns

This is just an overpriced Garmin for chuds who have a home invasion fetish.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 day ago (1 children)

A robot that is capable of protecting you from a home invasion is also a robot capable of arresting you if its owners decide they want to.

I don't want a cop in my home thanks.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 day ago

Yeah, that's scary as shit. They're advertising that this robot is capable of violence.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 day ago

The ideal room for lonely man with his overpriced Tesla robot: one where the drywall isn't painted or adorned with a single decoration. Not even a nightstand.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It will also monitor the local supply and demand for donor organs. If the demand rises, Tesla Boticon will use ai to determine the value of your life (through labour costs, amount consumed, epidermis RGB values, and investments value) against the value of the organ recipient. Should your life be deemed lesser, Tesla Boticon will immediately off you and harvest your organs, selling them off to the highest bidder.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 day ago

epidermis RGB values

Lmao us-foreign-policy

[–] [email protected] 53 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (4 children)

protect you from any home invasions

100% chance this thing is going to kill a kid

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 day ago

100% chance this thing is going to kill a kid

"Papa, tell me how the Butlerian Jihad started again..." lisan-al-gaib

[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 day ago

"protect you from any home invasions"

Yeah fuck all these bots

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 day ago

It definitely will not do anything

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 day ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago

Those kids deserved it

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago

peak reference

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 day ago

All I'm reading is that there's gonna be gig work job openings for people to dress up as RoboCop and watch you sleep.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 day ago

this is awesome, i hope this ends up in every bougie internet-connected smart house

party-sicko

[–] [email protected] 43 points 1 day ago

An underpaid and overworked exploited worker will be remotely doing those panopticon duties in a Mechanical Turk fashion and credulous techbros will believe what they want to believe.

That does not make it better.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 day ago

Creepy illustration, but also reminds me of in Skyrim your follower just stands there staring at you when you sleep in a bed

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I’m glad that these robots won’t be able to do any of that and this is all a big, dumb waste of time. It would be so awful if these things were real in any meaningful sense.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 day ago

If there's a sold product/service it will involve a Mechanical Turk operated by unseen suffering workers.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Can't wait till these things go I, Robot, Ex Machina, Detroit: Become Human, etc on the bouge

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 day ago

The opening of Terminator 2 but instead of human skulls, the robot is standing on a giant pile of funko pops.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I was thinking about the first robot, B1-66ER, that killed his masters in order to save his own life in the Animatrix. (CW: Animatrix has many gruesome, animated gore scenes that can be difficult for viewers to watch.)

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago

Ex Machina is a story about a cool robot lady who does absolutely nothing wrong.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 day ago

Paranormal Activity moment.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 day ago

It also hobbles you and makes you write a novel

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I would suggest doing something with that decrepit fungi farm wall before buying a robot at least.