Asklemmy

Sourdough with chunky peanut butter, ground mustard, and aioli.

Germany has brands of bottled curry sauce that are great on white rice.

I've never seen them in the US... but mayonnaise and curry powder is close enough.

Ranch noodles, though, I've served to guests all the time. It is exactly what it sounds like. You squirt ranch dressing all over fresh elbow / corkscrew pasta, and ideally cool overnight. It's two-ingredient pasta salad. Ranch is buttermilk, garlic, dill, and a bunch of other spices. Great as a side. Add pepper.

fermented shrimp paste, pickled bird eyes chili, soy sauce, fresh mangoes and plain white rice. topped with a heaping pinch of msg.

I haven't had this in a while but one if my lazy bachelor meals was baked potatoes with kim chee and sour cream.

Mix 2 different instant noodle products, Carbonara Buldak and Neoguri and create a sodium overload saucy cheesy ramen. We only have it max twice a month though because it’s so high in sodium.

When I'm home alone, I'll sometimes revert to my "first apartment" mood and cook spaghetti with Campbell tomato soup in it, added with sautéed onions, mushrooms, hotdog sausages, and add cheese in it.

Is probably better than the crappiest thing I could come up with, but I wouldn't serve that too an adult. But maybe to children.

Cinnamon raisin bagels with lox and cream cheese

Two pieces of white bread, mayo, thick slices of tomato and a bunch of black pepper.. Not sure how terrible it is, but I don't generally serve it to others because it's very messy.

Raw chickpeas. The small, black kind. I soak them overnight in cold water, and have them for breakfast along with a shot of espresso.

I got it from my dad. He used to have them with tea.

Pasta with ketchup instead of tomato sauce

Rice with ketchup

Ketchup with ketchup

I love ketchup

I keep a bouquet of dry pasta on my desk that I absentmindedly munch on while I work.

Sometimes I'll eat a whole head of cabbage over a day peeling it leaf by leaf.

Take a sweet bun that has a curd filling, cut it in half like a burger bun. Spread cream cheese on both sides. Add ham, cucumber, salad leaf. Serve with tarkhuna. This recipe might doxx me to my friends, because I always say to try it but nobody ever does.

Hobo salad: Canned kidney beans, canned sweetcorn, canned tuna, salad dressing. If I'm feeling fancy/not lazy I'll add some chopped shallots or scallions.

Cold baked beans straight from the tin, eaten with a spoon. I'm grinning thinking of my dinner guests' faces as they contemplate their tins.

Y’all are horrifying. That’s all I came here to say.

Mustard bread. I'm dead serious.

Edit to clarify: just a slice of bread with a heap of mustard rushedly spread on it. I either go for honey mustard if I'm looking for a bit of pep, or whole grain Dijon for savouring.

Toasted bread with blue cheese, a fried egg, hot sauce and maple syrup on top.