I'm sorry, I really don't have the time to do reading comprehension with you, I've put it pretty clearly in the very first Idea I've listed. Also, reread my conclusion and see how much someone's job shows up in what I've written.

Have a good'un.

While I agree with the fact that this kind of behaviour [i.e. randomly "hanging brain" (my new favourite idiom), unsolicited, in someone's DMs] is SO many shades of shitty in whichever context it happens, in this case in particular the job description* really does work for building up context and highlighting the dichotomy between the type of people who send dick pics and the type of people they sometimes reach.

As a bottom line, it should serve as a good enough cautionary tale about keeping one's damned junk in their pants unless someone wants to see it, because one'll most likely end up looking like an utter asshole while also potentially ruining someone else's mood for literally no good reason whatsoever.

(still me, blahaj is down)

Edit: to avoid any pointless "but it isn't just men" replies, of course it isn't just men, but women seem to not have such a huge friggin' need to expose themselves to unaware passers-by. This is me, speaking as an AMAB and approximately cishet. And I wouldn't like to see a random centrefold on my phone while checking my messages, either, to be perfectly frank. There's a time and a place, and many more factors before I get to that point.

Yep, may even be caused by certain forms of c-PTSD. I was required to develop hypervigilance as a method of survival, so everything bad/unfortunate/uncomfortable sounds the alarm, while anything good/normal/producing joy is *mostly glossed over (*extremes are still registered), as the main goal is staying alive and the latter won't kill me.

Really haven't heard it used in these contexts before! Thank you!

On the plus side, it'll be a while before my brain rewires the context associated with the word, so now I'll amuse myself imagining every political figure addressed as such wearing Pope hats and stuff.

(yep, still me, this is my second account, trouble getting into the other one, for some reason)

Yep, genuinely only ever heard it when talking in a monarchic context, about kings/queens, Lords/Ladies and such, and in a Church context - as mentioned, when referring to the Pope, and Archbishops and such (remembered this latter part only now that I thought about it again).

Funny, "Excellency" is what feels over the top to me, but may be due to the contexts in which I've heard it used - circumstances which have much more pomp and pageantry associated with them.

Anyway, thank you! Learn something new every day!

(yep, still me, this is my second account, trouble getting into the other one, for some reason)

I was out with my friends once in my early twenties, drunk at the limit between "flying high on wings of booze" and "incoherent mass of sick and confusion."

There was this girl who kept catching my eye every time I saw her out and about, and this time she happened to be at the same dive as us. I finally decided to try talking to her, so I kinda' awkwardly accosted her at the bar and I think I started pulling my "over-the-top intellectual" bit for a laugh.

Somehow, it worked! We kept chatting (she was buzzed but significantly more sober than I was), we kept laughing, then she asked me to accompany her on an ATM trip after a while. Now, I'd completely lost my capacity for reading between the lines at this point, so I just took it as a generic action. About midway through the trip, she started pulling in very close to me, my current guess being that she had intended to try smooching. My drunk brain thought "oh, she must be feeling the drag, we need to keep her blood pumping." So I called a race, last one to the ATM is a rotten egg.

Again, surprisingly, she was into it! I could hear her giggling as I was pulling away. I was running like a madman, I could feel my legs moving by themselves. I was a beast, a high-performance machine, a force of nature! Almost started congratulating myself for being such an irresistible hunk, when suddenly I could feel the curb grabbing my left foot. I plunged forward, but luckily my stage fighting reflexes kicked in and I completely unexpectedly started doing landing rolls. I literally rolled the rest of the way to the ATM - about 4-5 meters, not kidding, I'd picked up some serious speed while galloping like a horse on coke. She won and was laughing her ass off, the alcohol inside me had been angered and my brain was oatmeal.

I don't remember many details after that. What I will say, though, is that it worked! Also, that I never again tried wooing or racing anyone while drunk.

Dude was blasted out of his gourd, Jesus Christ... good thing he's not in charge of the fucking Government!

So, piracy is legal if you don't distribute? What the fuck is Zuck smoking?

Trump, if nothing else, will be remembered by history as the US President with the shiniest boots.

The washing machine with integrated AI broke my brain. This must be the most useless thing I've ever encountered in my entire life.

Honestly, considering how much of a clown Alex Jones was, they have their work cut out for them if they want to compete at comedic levels!

Either way, this may be the best news I've heard all year, thank you!

The jokes are becoming reality, I swear...