this post was submitted on 08 Oct 2024
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[–] [email protected] 51 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I wouldn’t be surprised if they ‘accidentally’ drop a few shells on the Irish UNIFIL positions. Israel is pissed at Ireland for recognizing Palestine.

[–] [email protected] 48 points 2 weeks ago

The Irish have lost 48 soldiers to the UNIFIL mission on the Blue Line over the decades. Some of the cases are pretty open and shut cases of the IDF firing on them while clearly identified.

[–] [email protected] 48 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Next week's news: Biden swears unconditional support in Israels self defense against Ireland. US planning to send warships to assist in Isreals ~~invasion~~ Special Operations™ in Ireland.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 weeks ago

Next after that, Boston and NYC declare independence.

[–] [email protected] 45 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Uh oh, it's USS Liberty time

[–] [email protected] 41 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

"I'm so sorry, we just couldn't stop repeatedly attacking the Irish troops in an area we were informed Irish troops would be flying the Irish flag shouting at us to stop because they're Irish, we thought they were Arabs"

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Wasn't there some conspiracy theory that the Irish are the lost tribe of Israel?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

So many groups have 'lost tribe of Israel' claims. There must have been hundreds of lost tribes.

I'm more amused by the "Jesus came to England" myths which led to one of the most well-known of British hymns.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/And_did_those_feet_in_ancient_time

Edit: I should have read that Wikipedia page first. The myth post-dates the poem.

[–] [email protected] 41 points 2 weeks ago

Next in the news, Israel explains how Ireland is actually Hamas, which is why they had to use white phosphorus on UNIFIL troops

[–] [email protected] 40 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Well, I didn't have Israel vs Ireland on my WWIII escalation bingo card.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

"Would you like some cake Father? Oh go ooooooon, it's got genocide in it. I mean raisins"

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago

"FECK! ARSE! GIRLS!"

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

I get it. Ireland didn't fight in WWII, so it needs to play catch-up.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Erm akshurally did Ireland condem Hummus, clearly they deserve an Israeli Special Military Operation™ to root out antisemitism and nazism

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Damn Hummus, always at the frontline of terrorism :(

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

It's good, but I didn't think it was worth fighting wars over.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Hypothetically, because of course I don't think it's going to happen, what would a war between Israel and Ireland look like? Like mechanically how would it work? Who would be drawn in? My assumption is nobody because treaties are usually just pieces of paper that no one follows unless they feel like there's an advantage for them in it.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Alright, you got the realistic answer. Now for the game theory of everyone making the worst decisions.

The Israelis steam roll the Blue Line and kill 300 Irish Soldiers.

The Irish go to the EU for help and the EU military alliance is activated. Israel is given a week to stand down. They do not.

The French Navy, German Army, and combined Air Force move to Greece to prepare for a fight in the Mediterranean.

Israel refuses to back down. The US cannot sacrifice NATO so they declare neutrality and evacuate beyond the "Italian Line".

Next week the combined EU forces stage amphibious landings at Tel Aviv and Haifa. There are rumors the US is giving intelligence to the EU forces.

The Israeli defense minister is last seen trying to tell a camera that Western forces are not in the city, but the camera also catches Leopard tanks rolling by in the background.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Stop, I can only get so erect

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 weeks ago

Netanyahu is found hiding in a hole in someone's back yard. He's somehow grown an unwashed 6 month beard in one week.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Ireland would withdraw their forces from the region, maybe cut ties. Israel would lose a good amount of Western goodwill and nothing would happen. Even if Israel opens fire on Ireland's troops it won't lead to war. I don't think it's physically possible for either side to do anything more than bombing campaigns anyway.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Ireland is EU. The EU is very capable of projecting ground forces. Other than that, yeah I agree.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago

Oh yeah I kinda forgot about that.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 weeks ago

The Irish government officially cuts diplomatic ties with Israel and petitions the EU for some form of official mediation. As a neutral, peace-loving nation we implore the nations of the world to force both sides to peace.

Unrelated, sales of balaclavas and digital watches skyrocket in specific areas of Ireland, and lots of lads holidays in Turkey and Cyprus get booked out.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

A convoy is set to de-escaluate the situation