814
submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[-] [email protected] 95 points 1 year ago
[-] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

Let's start with a big-ass "H"!

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[-] [email protected] 87 points 1 year ago

Amateurs. Never put a date on your rapture predictions. Just say it is happening soon.

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[-] [email protected] 70 points 1 year ago

Thank god there is no ninth of hexadecember, so no worries.

[-] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago

Maybe this in Julian calendar?!

That means we only have 247 years left!! REPENT!!

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[-] [email protected] 59 points 1 year ago

It's almost 9pm where I am and there's no sign of it. Jesus better hurry his ass up if he wants to be on time.

[-] [email protected] 26 points 1 year ago

Maybe everyone around you is a filthy sinner.

[-] [email protected] 27 points 1 year ago

Maybe that's been the joke for centuries. The rapture happened but nobody made the cut. Seems consistent with the Bible.

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[-] [email protected] 58 points 1 year ago

But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only.

Matthew 24:36.

RTFM, noob.

[-] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago

"Read The Fisherman Matthew"?

[-] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago
[-] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago
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[-] [email protected] 43 points 1 year ago

Hi guys, its the 19th here in Australia already and I can confirm that I have been Left Behind to suffer heck on earth for being a sinner and Im super over it already.

[-] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

You sure everybody got raptured and you're not just in Australia?

[-] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

Nah mate, that's just fuckin Thursdy.

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[-] [email protected] 38 points 1 year ago

Jesus better fucking come I've been jerking him off for like 20 minutes

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[-] [email protected] 34 points 1 year ago

It's currently September 19th

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[-] [email protected] 33 points 1 year ago

It's true. I'm getting raptured right n

[-] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago

Well, well, well. Look who became a gentile and got themselves raptured.

[-] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

Okay, you got me, I'm still stuck here with all of you heretics

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[-] [email protected] 33 points 1 year ago
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[-] [email protected] 25 points 1 year ago

~~9-18-24~~ ~~9-19-24~~ ~~9-20-24~~ ~~9-21-24~~ 9-22-24

I mean...if they keep this up they will be right eventually...right?

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[-] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

They may have screwed up their ISO date format. They really mean it'll happen on the 9th day of the 18th month of 2024.

It tracks

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[-] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago

nonsense, there are only 12 months

[-] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago
[-] [email protected] 36 points 1 year ago

Afraid so. Hope you enjoy the great snatch.

[-] [email protected] 36 points 1 year ago

sigh - Days without thinking about her: 0

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[-] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago

From snatch you came, and to snatch you shall return.

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[-] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago

so nobody can know the date of the rapture, and if someone figures it out god'll change it?

what if I make a website that just says "the rapture will be [current date +1]"

checkmate?

[-] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago

So I was justified when I left those dishes in the sink. Thank goodness. Thank you, Jesus.

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[-] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago
[-] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago

Oh, shit! Who will water my plants?!

[-] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago

It's your lucky day - I happen to run a post-rapture plant watering and pet sitting business - I'm sure as shit not getting raptured.

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[-] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

What mental gymnastics do you think the sign maker will have to perform, when nothing happens today?

[-] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago

Mysterious Ways ™️

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[-] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago

Post-Rapture looting anyone?

[-] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

Why do you think I still live in Texas?

[-] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

If you already live in hell, nothing changes?

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[-] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago

God, I wish God would actually just end this cringe already.

[-] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago

It's probably a coded message. Read it in the order of colors.

Jesus is rapture - 9-18-24 will on coming the happen.

It all makes sense!

[-] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

JESUS IS THE RAPTURE

COMING WILL HAPPEN ON 9-18-24

sigh… if you insist

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[-] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago

Haha! Yeah right, this is like the ten thousandth time they've s

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[-] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago

Good thing I tried pegging for the first time tonight then! Ticked that one off the bucket list just in time!

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[-] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

Still the 18th here. Anyone know where I can buy some inflatable sex dolls and helium at this hour?

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[-] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

Can we go ahead and get the rapture over with so the rest of us can get some peace and god damn quiet?

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[-] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago

What timezone is the rapture in?

Trying to decide if I should stay up and get some photos

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[-] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago

Sorry, gonna have to miss the rapture, I have DnD this weekend.

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this post was submitted on 18 Sep 2024
814 points (98.6% liked)

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