this post was submitted on 25 Aug 2024
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Mildly Infuriating

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[–] [email protected] 197 points 3 weeks ago (18 children)

But your job offered it which means it's ok to use during working hours and get paid for it. If my job offered free lunch you can be damn sure I will eat it during my work day.

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[–] [email protected] 95 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

Read the fine print too, a lot of these "mental health counseling services" have carve outs that stipulate that they can pass along data about your sessions to third parties (like your employer.) Most of them aren't health care professionals so health care law doesn't apply.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Everything HR does is for the benefit of the company. They do not do anything to genuinely help employees. You are a replaceable cog and the moment they decide you're not useful, you will be tossed out. Never trust them or the structures they put in place.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

Good HR people see their employees as tools and they know that tools need special care to work properly. Yes, they only do it because it's best for the company.

I got lucky and two HR members in the four big companies I've worked for that were like that. I guess it isn't the norm.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 weeks ago

As tools, you say....

[–] [email protected] 24 points 3 weeks ago

Yikes. OP is fortunate enough not to live in the USA.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 weeks ago

Depending on what exactly they're doing, that could be practicing without a license

[–] [email protected] 69 points 3 weeks ago

It sounds like they want you to do it during working hours or else they wouldn't offer those times. It's a service offered by your job so it could be interpreted as a work-related function and therefore you should get paid for utilizing it.

[–] [email protected] 67 points 3 weeks ago

I mean, just schedule the appointment, put it on your work schedule, and ask that doctor (or whatever you call them) for a note for work. That's what I do.

[–] [email protected] 45 points 3 weeks ago

If any of my reports told me they booked an appointment through the health care we provided and it was during the work day I'd just say okay, mark it out on your calendar as busy so I don't bug you or expect anything from you during that time. If they need to account for all their time like some roles, bill it as admin time.

[–] [email protected] 38 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

No idea where you are or what the labour laws or union situation are. But where I work, a consultation like that is a doctor's appointment and can therefore be taken as medical leave during working hours.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

They're in the Netherlands, they can just take the day off to make use of this service

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Depends on their contract and how many paid/unpaid leave they still have. I know someone who has already spent all of their leave this year and won't be able to just take a day off (unless it's special leave like a doctor's visit or certain funerals, of course).

OP should probably talk to their employer about this or read the company handbook. I suspect they can request special leave to use this service, but if it's not considered a "normal" doctor's visit, there may be special rules (i.e. not planning appointments during important meetings).

Refusing OP would be pretty stupid, because OP can also go through the regular medical system and that won't be online, and requires a GP referral, so any psychiatric help they may require through that system will cost at least twice the amount of time compared to giving an hour or so off to use the company system. In most companies I know of, there are rules about special leave that would entitle OP to leave beyond their normal time off to visit their doctor(s).

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago

Yeah sorry, that's what I meant, they're entitled to take special leave to go to this appointment. But it seems OP has already decided that they will be punished somehow for doing so

[–] [email protected] 24 points 3 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 21 points 3 weeks ago

Just do it during work? Don't take time off either, it's specifically work related.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Those aren't therapy sessions

They're data acquisition and gaslighting sessions

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago

As a supporter of getting professional help like therapy, I get kinda frustrated at the whole process.

My company has two options: a in-company therapist and TalkSpace.

The in-company therapist is a nice lady but I don't like that her boss is HR, where I have the most problems with. She's also technically challenged and uses the company storage to save reports. You know who else has access to the company storage? IT. And I chill with those guys and absolutely know what they can see.

I had two really good therapists who quit TalkSpace in a year. But then, five people who were more like guidance counselors. They didn't have any credentials in their profile outside of basic social work, and didn't give me anything better than (ugh) an AI therapist.

Honestly I have to pay out of pocket for therapy now.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

Well I'm night shift so it's while I'm sleeping. But they can't just give you a day off either because that would also just solve the real issue. Not that therapy is never necessary, but having worked in mental health 8+ years now, 90% of the time 90% of people just need a damn day off (often more than one). Traumas and chronic dysfunctions will absolutely always exist, but we really need to stop focusing (as much) on the "everybody should go to therapy" side and much more on the "what the fuck are we doing to all of these people that all of them need so much therapy???" side (spoiler: It's too much work for too little pay, and the rent, as always, is too. damn. high.).

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I've heard people call these mental health days. At least to friends. Probably not to bosses. It's good to take one once in a while (if you can) and just chill. I occasionally do so.

I'll never forget my younger brother saying that in NYC people consider it really weird if you're not in therapy. I didn't comment, but that kind of bugged me. I'm all for de-stigmatizing therapy, but that made it sound like it's some kind of flex to tell people you're in therapy...?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Yeah to me I see it as the commoditization / paywalling of normal human supportive interaction. Therapy should be there to supplement normal supportive relationships when they're unavailable to you or you have a large enough stressor in your life that they're inadequate to help you manage.

I don't like the idea of moving towards a society where it's just expected that most truly supportive interactions have a strict professional-client paid relationship instead of a naturally ebbing and flowing give and take between two friends who are close enough. To me that just feels like capitalism further encroaching into my life by tallying up the worth of every interaction I have so they can demand their cut.

I'm already seeing a therapist for my existing severe mental illness through one of those online gig style therapy services because that was the only place I could find any openings, and they're already taking their cut that way. I can't imagine choosing this if I wasn't already someone who had been hospitalized several times. Difficulty sustaining stable interpersonal relationships is literally a key hallmark of my disorder, and if I was better at it I'd much prefer it! (I'm working on it, LOL).

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I appreciate you bringing up the money aspects. I have often felt the same way about the ubiquitousness of "just do therapy, bro". That it's just another sad aspect of late stage capitalism. It's my understanding there's not nearly enough providers to go around, yet the aggressive marketing continues. Because of course it does.

I don't know if this is true or if it's just a trope. But I've also heard that the field attracts people who usually need help themselves. Not that all therapists are "broken"...but that there's a percentage who are. So on top of finding an available one at all, you hope you land a good one. Hopefully that's just a BS stereotype.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

It's not even the "needs help themselves aspect. That screws them, they say most psych nurses are crazy too, it's whether they've done the work on it, and I think you'd find similar levels of low competence from somebody who just didn't pay enough attention in school (AND they wouldn't have the life experience to know what they're talking about).

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago

The other thing you mentioned: not having close friends and non-professional relationships. I think that's very true. A lot of people are isolated these days. And many friends will keep you at arm's length. They are happy to hang out. But if you start to open up too much, they will start to avoid you. Anything that smells remotely "clingy" is a big no-no. They'd rather look at screens than engage in real talk.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago

My workplace offers a mental health benefit similar to this, we inform HR that we've scheduled a mental health appointment during work, tell our manager that we're stepping away for an hour, and then return to work after the appointment. It would be a good idea to ask someone in your company how to use your benefit.

I'll be the first person to remind you that HR is not your friend, but this is exactly what they exist for

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago

Most likely it's just a data harvesting scheme so they can see if you can mentally take being overworked (they don't care and will work you to a slow death regardless), isn't capitalism just wonderful :3

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago

Maybe inform if you can declare the hours of your consultation as a doctor's visit then?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago

Have you tried, like, requesting time off?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Please take care of yourself. You are important.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Haha, thanks for the laugh. If I was, I either wouldn't need a psych appointment, or at least it wouldn't cause any issues.

I know better than that what my place in this world is, though. But thanks for at least having a heart. That puts you above everyone I have to interact with on a daily basis.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago

I wasn't being funny. I am genuinely concerned for your well being. Please continue to seek help and take care.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago

Not sure how it holds up legally... But I am very strongly of the option that If my health care is tied to my employment, then anything healthcare related is work related.

I only make calls for this shit on the clock. I haven't pushed not using sick time yet, but I will once I get the WFH shit sorted.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago

Everybody who keeps saying "just go" seems to be assuming that OP works in an office job where you can just come back and finish your work after your appointment.

What if they're an air traffic controller, they're operating factory equipment, monitoring a nuclear reactor, etc. Some jobs require a person to be present and attentive. Now they have to talk to their manager, find someone to cover for them, etc. Mental health treatment should be easily available without having to jump through hoops. I understand their frustration.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago

Book the time as an appointment or consultation and just go. If your direct line manager makes a fuss, tell them it’s a doctor’s appointment. If you’ve got far enough that you recognise that you need help, just go ahead and do it.

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