SALUTE
I have barely watched Breaking Bad
Here is a screenshot of where to find the spoiler button.
Let's have another good week everyone 
Fallow makes me gay and wistful. This is an incredible new frontier in interactive technology, because I think the last time a game made me feel gay & wistful was playing fruity little twine games on itch or something. I do not get anything like enough chances to feel gay and wistful, the way I do with a good soulcrushing transbian novel or queer album, with viddy gaems. I desire viddy gaems to make me gay & wistful pls.
Tomorrow's my birthday but i can't help but feel depressed
blegh, sick
felt realy bad today. really bad abdominal pain, that sucked. fucking exhausted too. thirty five mother fucking degrees celcius today in the UK, fuck this. the viewing we went to on the weekend estate agent told us to phone first thing monday morning, did that aaaand appartment already gone. so now I gotta to find another 20 appartments, where I get 1 or 2 viewings, and once again am told no go fuck yourself you can't live here
Epilating is pain 
But pain is beauty 
Edit: I will do my arm hair and get some, but under the light there seems to still be a good amount at a good length but no matter what the epilator won’t pluck them.
Can they be too long for it to work?
Bisexuality is when you pluck your eyebrows
i think my cat thinks i am in league with the scary new fan we got recently. especially since i have the power to make it stop rotating when i'm trying to roll a spliff.
Does anyone else like certain names, but you choose not to take them because someone you know also has that name and it would be weird? 
Kind of freaking out over the idea of having to have my picture taken for my passport.
What if I have to see it and I don’t like what I see and it causes me to spiral? 
I feel like I’ve been making progress these last few months and have been emotionally stable, I don’t want to ruin that.
talking about dysphoria/eating/weight issues
I love how my brain just focuses on numbers. Height, weight, calories, doesn't matter. Like a fucking magnet. Its so incredibly toxic to me and with transitioning has only gotten worse. I'm feeling okay right now, but sometimes its just bad. Oh, and seeing other people's numbers. god that might be as bad as thinking about mine. Fucking hell.
But I am feeling good now, just reflecting on how I was feeling earlier/how I have struggled in the past.
CW; Crimes against humanity, body horror, weirdly personal.
spoiler
Soooo my grandfather was a human test subject on Eniwetok Atoll in the 50s for American nuclear trials. I happen to have polyorchidism. I'm pretty certain it's from radiation causing genetic damage. It gave me a horrible hernia that I had to have fixed at 23. But at the moment my problem is "do they work or not?" I'm on a pretty low dose of E (DIY) and I'm not sure if it's actually suppressing my T production or if I'm just fucking myself up.
Holy shit, it’s Monday again?
nightmare body horror
Yet another dream where my teeth fall out, or they become loose enough I can just pull a bunch of them out in a chunk like a puzzle piece.
Idk why I dream about this so much, but I’m glad they are still there.
blackpilled brainrot shit
If you have The Autism and don't know what social norms are, cannot perceive them... can I recommend strongly against learning about them? I mean it less in the, conversational politeness way and more the, some actions or traits or whatever, fucking styles of dress, have weird inexplicable connotations or horrible implications according to neuro fucking typicals. It is so cursed, like you know those guys on that 4chan board that always talk about chad and stacy, and the fucking "dating market" like it's goddamn wallstreet for their incel asses?? People rightly make fun of those anons, but by truth the actual social norms that have been concocted on our planet are not particularly far off of that. It's utterly fucked up.
The reason I recommend against learning them is because it's just psychic damage. It's not something you can use really, there might be stupid arbitrary rules or the person who told you might be seeing it a certain specific weird way, or just be wrong. So stay oblivious, stay well, holy shit.
CW NSFW
A lot of cishet amateur BDSM is so boring. Wow you’re having sex with some restraints.
Yesterday I faithfully recreated a style of softcore damsel in distress pictures that I saw in the 2000s on the free samples page of a website that no longer exists (except on the way back machine), that had an indelible mark on my sexuality and gender I’m only just realising.
Anyone here ever take benzo for anxiety? Did it work for you and would you recommend it?
(for the record I currently take mirtazapine, which i think??? is helping me regulate my mood a bit better because at least i'm not having many days laying in bed all day consumed by thought-spirals. but i still have incredibly bad anxiety especially around texting and communication, as I've mentioned before)
I fucking hate being recorded and apparently the cis don't mind to the same extent, so my demanding not to be feels weird. Still do, cuz fuck 'em, but I hate it. And I hate that its not respected. Like seriously, why are you doing something to me that you know I don't want? wtf? So easy to just stop doing it if you know I'm uncomfortable but I guess no one cares.
hey uhhh
how do you be nice to yourself? i haven't done that in like a month now and i feel like shit and i think i forgot what self kindness was
Been a little bit, but my sites got updated with the fall and late summer dresses so I got some new ones to gush about
Dressposting #3
Today's dress is Bramble Rose's Magical Grass Fragrance Garden!
This one is just, utterly stunning. The concept is a pretty typical one, being a garden theme with lots of rose motifs, but I love how they used green ribbons as an accent colour to imply the flower stems instead of sticking with the blue. It adds a lovely sense of naturalism to it that I really like. Plus they actually have colour options if you really want to have it with just the blue or pink, which is really nice.
Personally I prefer it in the blue/green, but the pink/pink is really cute too! I also love its detachable sleeves, they look so poofy and nice, and when they're detached the dress still works incredibly well which is great since a lot of other dresses can sometimes have issues with the sleeves feeling empty without the extensions.
The dress is also just so incredibly detailed, from the beautiful embroidery to the pearls and differently layered fabrics giving it tons of texture. It looks incredible from up close. I also think this pic shows just how pretty the green and blue looks, particularly on the choker. Like if I could buy just the choker I absolutely would in a heartbeat.
::: spoiler subscriber @[email protected]
sex... i could take it or leave it. if you know what it is, i mean...
that's gross, i'm sorry.
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