this post was submitted on 07 Jun 2024
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[–] [email protected] 142 points 5 months ago (3 children)

"I should have let everyone know I accepted a bribe. Not like you'll do anything about it anyway, suckers!"

[–] [email protected] 45 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

The only Justice to be impeached in US history was Associate Justice Samuel Chase in 1805. The House of Representatives passed Articles of Impeachment against him; however, he was acquitted by the Senate.

https://www.supremecourt.gov/about/faq.aspx

[–] [email protected] 30 points 5 months ago (1 children)

They're the American Mullahs. I've been calling them that for a while and I hope it catches on eventually.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I thought they were Muslim clergy. What am I missing?

[–] [email protected] 33 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

The Mullahs of Iran cannot be replaced no matter what they do. They are also the final arbiters on all matters.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Gotcha. That’s a fair comparison.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I should let everyone know, I am taking bribes.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 months ago

"I used to take a lot of bribes and I should have let everyone know. I mean, I still do, but I used to, too."

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago

That’s exactly how I read that title. Oh, I can see there was no need to be sneaky. Apologies.

[–] [email protected] 53 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Justice Clarence Thomas can choke on a cock.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 5 months ago (2 children)

To be fair, any of us can choke on a cock.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

You're right. Clarence has no gag reflex.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 months ago (1 children)

It's true, I saw that man take 3 cocks at the same time.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago (2 children)

You go to some really weird parties

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Sure but he's conservative so it's pretty much a given that he's got some secret kink he's trying to cover for by telling others what they can do with their bodies. Having 3 dicks in his mouth is probably the most normal sexual act he's done in ages, instead of the usual underage amputees vomiting in his asshole or something like that

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

God I love this conversation thread.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago (1 children)

You can see this at any billionaire party in the DC area.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

Apparently you also go to some really weird parties. I never get invited to billionaire orgies :(

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago (1 children)

And you never will, with a gag reflex like that.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

I'm still good for butt stuff though

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (2 children)

Not just people. The dogs we had back on the farm did a great job of protecting chickens, but every once in a while they would do the opposite and kill a chicken for themselves. I always thought it was fair. There was an instance where Lady was choking on a mouthful of feathers.

It was a peanut farm. Ironically my spouse is deathly allergic. On the bright side, it gets you out of family gatherings.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

That was a wild ride!

[–] [email protected] 42 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Okay, so when can we expect you to take off the robe and clear out? And when can we expect meaningful ethics reform on the court, you know, the place where ethics should be paramount?

[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 months ago (1 children)

And when can we expect meaningful ethics reform on the court, you know, the place where ethics should be paramount?

I have an official reply from the Justices to your inquiry:

"lol, get fucked, pleb"

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

That sounds about right...

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago

"I have not yet begun to defile myself."

[–] [email protected] 29 points 5 months ago

Oh, ok.

So, you're going to resign now, yes?

[–] [email protected] 24 points 5 months ago

South Park ISP Support Guy (while rubbing his nipples): I'm sorry. We're just so sorry.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 months ago

Shouldn't this be "…acknowledges he should not have accepted free trips from billionaire donor"?

I don't know all the intricacy of US politics, but people in position getting shit-tons of gifts in exchange of "nothing, really, just a friendly gesture" should raise some eyebrows.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 months ago

"my bad bro, i forgot to tell you guys about the open notorious corruption."

-Tom "Uncomfortuncle" Clarence

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago

Wait, I thought this was the onion

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago

Maybe he should step down about it

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

I would be fascinated to see how this issue would be litigated up through the supreme court.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

He knows it won't change jack shit: he can't be held accountable, and it's not like he'll magically grow a spine either

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

He should have drank himself to death, but alas.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

There is still time.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

Next time in court try:

Your honor, I “inadvertently failed to realize" ...

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

He is just a high ranking Sugarbaby. Get these bozos out of here.