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Jerky, 7-Fingered Scarlett Johansson Appears In Video To Express Full-Fledged Approval Of OpenAI (www.theonion.com)
submitted 2 years ago by to c/theonion@midwest.social
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[+] 94 points 2 years ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)
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    • [–] 82 points 2 years ago

    "At press time, an approving Johansson morphed into the banister she placed her hand on."

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    [–] 36 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    I would love to see someone actually make the video this describes.

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  • [–] 16 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Considering that her husband's on SNL, ot could happen.

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  • [–] 14 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    who is her husband?

    Actually... I am kinda proud I don't know who it is so maybe forget I asked.

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  • [–] 8 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Michael Che

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  • [–] [S] 5 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    Damn, good for Michael Che. He's not ugly or anything. He's handsome enough. But he batted way out of his league.

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  • [–] -1 points 2 years ago (4 children)

    am i the only one who doesn't find most hollywood women particularly appealing? like yeah scarlet isn't ugly or anything, but she looks a bit weird and stiff and i get the distinct impression that everyone says these women are attractive just because they have smooth skin and look rich..

    like, a lot of the women i see just randomly on the street irl are WAY more attractive than those in hollywood

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  • [–] 2 points 2 years ago

    I don't think she is anymore attractive than most other Hollywood stars. My favorite roll of her's is from Ghost World. I've only seen a handful of her movies. But she's that busty blonde that is a favorite type for many. Personally I'm more partial to Zoey Daschanel. I have watched most of her movies and definitely don't really like her but she's very pretty and I enjoy watching her. I have never watched the tv show she's in. I like M Ward but I don't like their collaboration. 🤷‍♂️

    People like the fantasy that Hollywood types provide. Something it's just that and Scarlet ticks the boxes.

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    • [–] 35 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    I hate how long it took me to realize this was an Onion article.

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    • [–] 25 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    I'm sure there is a perfectly logical explanation for all of this strange behavior from ScarJo.

    ... The explanation being her movie "Under The Skin" is in fact, a documentary, and Academy Award nominated actress Scarlett Johansson wasn't acting: She is actually an alien creature wearing human skin sent to Earth from Scotland to collect information on human behavior.

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  • [–] [S] 12 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Do you two go to the same meetings? Because I'm suspicious about how you know about this. Plus you're both big Hollywood celebrities.

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    • [–] 15 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Relevant XKCD Penny Arcade

    https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2024/05/24/altmania#

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    • [–] 14 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Didn't realize this was an Onion article at first. Figured it was someone trying to make an AI bad point.

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    • [–] 4 points 2 years ago

    This is gold, Onion article of the Year 🤣

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