this post was submitted on 24 Apr 2024
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the_dunk_tank

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It's the dunk tank.

This is where you come to post big-brained hot takes by chuds, libs, or even fellow leftists, and tear them to itty-bitty pieces with precision dunkstrikes.

Rule 1: All posts must include links to the subject matter, and no identifying information should be redacted.

Rule 2: If your source is a reactionary website, please use archive.is instead of linking directly.

Rule 3: No sectarianism.

Rule 4: TERF/SWERFs Not Welcome

Rule 5: No ableism of any kind (that includes stuff like libt*rd)

Rule 6: Do not post fellow hexbears.

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Rule 8: The subject of a post cannot be low hanging fruit, that is comments/posts made by a private person that have low amount of upvotes/likes/views. Comments/Posts made on other instances that are accessible from hexbear are an exception to this. Posts that do not meet this requirement can be posted to [email protected]

Rule 9: if you post ironic rage bait im going to make a personal visit to your house to make sure you never make this mistake again

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I almost made the decision to be a lib and not link but eh here it is https://twitter.com/Cobratate/status/1783049915800736108

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[–] [email protected] 122 points 5 months ago (2 children)

do not, my friends, become addicted to feel-good pee pee sex. it will take hold of you, and you will resent it's absence

[–] [email protected] 68 points 5 months ago

what a gay

what a lovely gay

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[–] [email protected] 103 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Ah yes the Jordan Peterson school of "actually fucking women is super gay".

[–] [email protected] 62 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Women are girls and girls are feminine and icky. Men are boys and boys are masculine and tough so it's less gay to like masculine features! That's pretty straightforward!

[–] [email protected] 26 points 5 months ago

lol no, sex with women is gay sex. sex with men is of course gay sex.

firing a gun at a tree (or a child, or whatever) is straight.

[–] [email protected] 84 points 5 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 46 points 5 months ago (1 children)

If having pee pee feel good sex makes me gay then lock me up in gay prison mon capitane.

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[–] [email protected] 81 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Fellas, is it gay to enjoy sex with a woman?

[–] [email protected] 53 points 5 months ago (2 children)

This is twice this week I make a comment, and then scroll to see someone had made it half an hour before me.

I'm unoriginal.

[–] [email protected] 40 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Silver is a perfectly acceptable medal.

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 5 months ago (1 children)

i would spin this as "i'm with it with the memes"

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Satire has finally died

[–] [email protected] 78 points 5 months ago (1 children)

the two sexualities:

  • gay
  • ace person who doesn't like sex but is trying to conform to societal expectations
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[–] [email protected] 62 points 5 months ago (1 children)

June twenty-ninth. I gotta get more straight. Too much sex with women has turned me gay. Too much hand holding has gone on for too long. From now on there will be 50 cocks sucked each morning, 50 ass rimmings. There will be no more vaginas, no more big boobs, no more destroyers of my masculinity. From now on will be total men. Every ass must be tight.

[–] [email protected] 48 points 5 months ago (1 children)

There's nothing more manly than men having sex with men

[–] [email protected] 34 points 5 months ago
  • British Navy recruitment, 1740
[–] [email protected] 58 points 5 months ago

You're gay because you love men. I'm gay because I hate women. We are not the same - that guy who got owned by Greta that time.

[–] [email protected] 52 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Guys a dickhead but I've noticed recently that he's becoming more of a persona - stuff like this is clearly ironic but it hides his weird trad shit underneath. He's clearly just baiting interactions because he's fallen out of the relevance he once had. Best thing is to just ignore it.

Imagine this tweet with only 150 views.

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[–] [email protected] 49 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Is artificial insemination the straightest way of having children? Local nutjob says yes.

[–] [email protected] 43 points 5 months ago

geordi-no artificial insemination

geordi-yes local nutjub

[–] [email protected] 43 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

feel good pee pee sex

hell yeah dude

[–] [email protected] 38 points 5 months ago (1 children)

tate says stuff like this so often that i'm pretty sure he's not hetero. like fascism does fun stuff psychologically, but this is just so unhinged. i don't even think jbp would cop to this. ace fascist tate i guess.

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[–] [email protected] 37 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Fingers are for HUNTING WILDEBEEST and PICKING BERRIES. Anyone who uses their fingers for typing stuff on a dumbdumb computer is a wastrel.

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[–] [email protected] 35 points 5 months ago (1 children)

How many kids does he have again?

[–] [email protected] 36 points 5 months ago (3 children)

He claims he has 10 by multiple women but all these kids and their mothers are "out of the public eye" so whether they really exist is who knows?

[–] [email protected] 37 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Even assuming that's true, the chances that he's a parent to any of those children is near 0.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 5 months ago

That's a good thing. Its definetly better to be fatherless than to have Andrew Tate for a dad

[–] [email protected] 26 points 5 months ago

Andrew Tate cucked me by getting my Canadian girlfriend pregnant oooaaaaaaauhhh

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[–] [email protected] 35 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I was like "this is for sure a bit" and then I looked at who posted it... jesus-christ

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[–] [email protected] 35 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 35 points 5 months ago (1 children)

All jokes aside really don't know how you can post something like this to the internet in earnest and still maintain you're an alpha male. This just broadcasts "I don't fuck and I have sour grapes".

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[–] [email protected] 34 points 5 months ago

I already feel sorry for the poor kids of the dumbest meatheads and wannabe-meatheads in the world who followed the advice of their idol and fathered a number of children for his approval rather than out of any interest in being a parent.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I don't have five kids but I have a loving family. I guess it's time for me to be gay and do crimes. sicko-gay

[–] [email protected] 20 points 5 months ago

Fuck where do I remember this emoji from

[–] [email protected] 31 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (6 children)

Counterpoint: any time one has non-reproductive PIV sex, one creates a fork in the timeline where the contraceptives failed and the result was carried to term.

Veni, vidi, vici.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 5 months ago (3 children)

therefore there must be a fork where every single time a man had sex he had an additional child

"goddamn why does this keep happening to me?" says the man with 58 children, learning his 59th is on its way

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[–] [email protected] 31 points 5 months ago

Thank you. I can finally post on c/anti_cishet_aktion!

[–] [email protected] 31 points 5 months ago

Idk thinking about other guys dicks is kinda gay

[–] [email protected] 27 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Everyone is either gay, or secretly gay

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[–] [email protected] 27 points 5 months ago (1 children)

You know what? I'm pro climate change. Let the watery depths claim it all. Give this shit back to the dinosaurs. Humanity deserves its impending demise.

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 5 months ago

I was lamenting thinking that there's nothing the left could do to disabuse people of the Andrew Tates and Jordan Petersons of the world. Hosting events, being normal, and having fun might be enough. Even if you framed it like "idk if I could do anything about your woman problems, but want to go hang out on the beach?" would be enough to make some people skip their nightly posting rituals.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Deeply closeted and unserious. Genetic legacy?

If you are 40 with less than 5 children you're probably gay.

Checks wikipedia for wife child info RELATIVES - FATHER, BROTHER.. .... fry

[–] [email protected] 25 points 5 months ago (1 children)

been telling people forever that hes closeted

how is this not obvious to everybody?

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 5 months ago

Oh my pee pee feels good this is great!

Don't (didn't?) you literally run a porn site?

[–] [email protected] 23 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

I know this is bait but it honestly made me laugh. Tate should transition to stand up comedy.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 5 months ago

Straightest thing I've ever read

[–] [email protected] 22 points 5 months ago

Fellas is it gay to have sex with women?

[–] [email protected] 21 points 5 months ago

lie back and think of England vibes

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