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Terrible news for us straight fellas (hexbear.net)
submitted 2 years ago by to c/the_dunk_tank@hexbear.net
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I almost made the decision to be a lib and not link but eh here it is https://twitter.com/Cobratate/status/1783049915800736108

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[–] 31 points 2 years ago* (4 children)

Counterpoint: any time one has non-reproductive PIV sex, one creates a fork in the timeline where the contraceptives failed and the result was carried to term.

Veni, vidi, vici.

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  • [–] [S] 27 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    therefore there must be a fork where every single time a man had sex he had an additional child

    "goddamn why does this keep happening to me?" says the man with 58 children, learning his 59th is on its way

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  • [–] 16 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    "I don't even have testicles! Where are the little guys coming from‽"

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  • [–] 10 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    "This man is medically baffling! He's had over 100 vasectomies, and every single one of them failed! How do they keep recanalizing so much?"

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  • [–] 4 points 2 years ago

    Lo, the king of Ephyra cannot get his rock up the hill without it rolling down; meanwhile this guy cannot get his rocks off without knocking someone up. This is indeed what we in the biz like to call a "Sisyphean creampie".

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  • [–] 18 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    This implies there is a timeline where the result was a miscarriage, and another where the result was an abortion

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  • [–] 10 points 2 years ago

    In fact, every single moment during the course of a pregnancy creates those forks again and again and again and again, and a simple miscarriage is by all means the least horrifying of these timelines.

    Incidentally, it is believed that the vast majority of human pregnancies do not last to term, but of that vast majority, it is most common for pregnancy loss to happen before one is even aware one is pregnant.

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