A lot of people that I know in kink are autistic so that's definitely not a thing that excludes you from participating in this sort of thing. The good parts of the kink community love clear questions and communication. We would rather people ask a dumb question and be told no, than make a dumb assumption and cross a boundary you couldn't even conceive of because you didn't have enough context to know about.

As far as events, it depends on where you are, but my main suggestion is to start on something like FetLife. Which sucks and is an awful website, but, it's like Facebook for kink and as such basically any kink event is posted there. Then you just find events that you think sound interesting and start going. If you're looking for something even more entry level you can often find munches or queer community events on Facebook or meetup. Friends you make there will eventually trust you enough to talk to you about other more sex forward events.

My recommendation would be to find events that are regularly occurring and not one offs. Also find events whose hosts have complete FetLife profiles that have a history of attending or participating in events. Only go to events that feel safe to you and prioritize events that are explicitly safe to your needs. These sorts of events will have posted policies around consent and inclusivity. Even better if you can find beginner friendly or 101 sort of events. It's always okay to say no. It is always okay to walk out and leave. If any event has any expectation of you other than "be here and follow our guidelines" fucking run.

And then you start going. Most importantly you work through the awkward times. The first time you go to an event, nobody will talk to you. This is because the regulars are tired of meeting people, putting energy into people, and then never seeing them again. Even if you don't really talk to anyone if the event seems like your kind of space, keep going back. Push through the awkward phase. Eventually folks will be like "oh they keep coming" and you'll make friends. Or you won't and that event isn't for you.

Like all community building you start somewhere, go into it with the only expectations being "I want to learn and I want community", and the rest of it will come with time and effort.

Anyway always happy to answer questions about this sort of thing because I was a a baby poly baby queer baby kinkster once too and I only graduated from baby status because people helped me figure it out