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submitted 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

The best bit is that we can't even see it lmao

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[-] [email protected] 18 points 2 years ago

Downvotes on Lemmy don't mean anything. Think of the points on Lemmy like the points in Whose Line, they don't matter. Regardless, it could be a bot. There used to be one on Reddit that autodownvoted every post to "negate the self upvote" or some stupid crap. Basically, don't worry about the downvote, and keep enjoying life. Don't let the downvoter live rent-free in your mind. Let that idiot go homeless, lest s/he live forever in your brainscape for free.

[-] [email protected] 32 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

The big problem is that this person isn't yet banned from Hexbear if they're able to see and downvote our posts. That means there is some transphobic creep out there stalking transgender users on Hexbear. We can't yet know if this person will try to sift through posts to dox trans people once they realize their downvotes have no effect.

That is a very common outcome when a transphobic freak feels their harassment isn't effective, see the entire history of KiwiFarms. And while we're on that subject, we also have no idea whether this person will organize raids on Hexbear by posting screenshots to the very many transphobic discord servers that literally only exist to mock and ridicule trans people in an attempt to pressure them into suicide.

Evil pieces of shit like this should most ideally be shot in the head. Second most ideally they should be publicly doxed and their friends/family/employer informed of their behavior. Without the means to accomplish those first two actions, the next best thing we can do to protect our trans comrades is to find out what account is doing this, and ban them to ensure they'll never be able to interact with Hexbear on that account again.

If the lemmy.ml admins are cooperative with that goal, then we can ensure the next reactionary on lemmy.ml who does this can't hide behind the anonymity of downvotes on their new, not yet banned account.

[-] [email protected] 16 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

The big problem is that this person isn't yet banned from Hexbear if they're able to see and downvote our posts.

They might very well be banned. The downvotes are being seen from lemmy.ml. Bans basically function as a shadow ban - the user can still see and interact with the copy of the "content as seen through lemmy.ml", but their comments and votes aren't federated back to Hexbear.

[-] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Thanks for the correction, I was just parroting what I had seen further down this thread with regards to how bans work.

Still, I would like for the lemmy.ml admins to tell us who this user is so we can check. And in the case this transphobe has already been banned on Hexbear, I'd like for their admins to also take action on the lemmy.ml side because I'm sure they don't find this kind of behavior any more acceptable than we do.

[-] [email protected] 14 points 2 years ago

Oh shit that's a new fear for the collection

[-] [email protected] 11 points 2 years ago

Holy jagweed, batman! That shit happens?? Seriously? Ffs people are assholes! Ban! Ban away!

Odd question... What is hexbear?

[-] [email protected] 18 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Yeah, iirc in the early days of this site existing transphobes used to stalk this site and try to dox openly trans users but then our mod team basically went extremely hard line on any perceived transphobia with trigger fingers on the banhammer that even the 1919 Cheka would have considered itchy; although a few good faith users were accidentally banned along the way it did solve our transphobia problem and now we're pretty decidedly a safe space - post federation the most common reason by a long way I've seen for new users making an account here is them being queer people who like our militantly anti queerphobia community and moderator's (on the flipside I joined back when I thought I was a cishet guy, and then I realised along the way that I'm actually a bisexual trans girl)

[-] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago

Gotcha. Well, I'm neither, and I still support this stance. No one should be abused this way. I honestly don't understand why people just can't be good humans. I mean, how hard is it to just respect other people?

What is cishet?

[-] [email protected] 9 points 2 years ago

cis is cisgender, basically they haven't got a queergender, transgender, or agender identity. (idk if I explained that well please correct me if not)

Hetero is just being straight.

cishet is the smushing of those two words together

[-] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago

Oh, it's pronounced sis-het, not si-shet. Ok cool. What does cis stand for? I though it and hetero were the same, until this very moment.

[-] [email protected] 5 points 2 years ago

cis means 'this side of', in the context of gender this means they're comfortable enough with the gender they were assigned at birth.

trans is 'that side of', in the context of gender this means they're uncomfortable with the gender they were assigned at birth

[-] [email protected] 3 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Ok, so what's the difference between cis and hetero?

I'm so sorry for the daft questions. I'm learning...

E: I don't like the word 'straight', since it assumes non-heteros are somehow not straight (IE, untrustworthy or shady). I hate that connotation.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

so cis (in this instance) pertains to gender, whereas hetero is with regard to sexuality. cis/trans (what you are) vs homo/hetero (what you're attracted to)

No daft questions! We're all peers here :)

[-] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago

I think I understand... So, a cis person can be attracted to either the same gender (homo) or the opposite gender (hetero) or both genders (bi), but attributes herself/himself to her/his birth-gender.... right? Or am I still confused? Haha

Is cis and acronym?

No daft questions! We’re all peers here :)

<3 thank you so much!! I've never had a safe place to ask these questions before, so I've been (knowingly) going around for at least a decade with these misunderstandings. I really appreciate you and the time you're putting into helping me understand!

[-] [email protected] 5 points 2 years ago

cis I think comes from the alps or something, cis/trans-alpine. It's also used in chemistry to determine the handedness of particular isomers (I think). It's a prefix, not an acronym, in any case.
Unless you listen to TERFs (which is an acronym, 'trans-exclusionary radical feminist), who'll tell you it stands for Cis Is a Slur lol

In your example yeah you got it right, cis/trans refers to a gender signifier, whereas homo/hetero is a sexuality signifier. They're similar prefixes with different applications

And then there's me who's just... queer I guess, the more I think about it the more confused I get, be gay do crime and learn to love yourself

[-] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago

Ok cool! This just made past conversations make so much more sense.

A queer pirate... Like Robert De Niro in Stardust haha (if you haven't seen that movie, I highly recommend it).

[-] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago

It's not on my radar, but I'll look into it tonight, thanks!

[-] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago

I watched it thinking I'd hate it (not usually a fan of fantasy), but this became one of my favorite movies after only one watch.

[-] [email protected] 17 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Unfortunately yes. Though it was much more common early in the site's history way before most lemmies even existed.

Hexbear is a left unity forum that began as a successor site to r/chapotraphouse after the reddit admins banned it. The short version of why we got banned from reddit is that we outwardly celebrated John Brown's attempted slave uprising at Harpers Ferry in 1859. We adopted the slogan "kill all slave owners" in honor of his memory. Somehow, the ghouls on the reddit admin team took this to mean a serious incitement to violence. I suppose their sense of linear time was just broken or something. Who can understand the mind of a liberal, after all?

To this day, the page for r/chapotraphouse says we were banned for "promoting hate". That's a massive farce considering we were one of the most absolutely inclusive spaces on reddit. We'd make anyone feel welcome there so long as they weren't a small business tyrant, a landleech, a racist, a sex pest, a fascist, or queerphobic.

One of the biggest demographics in the r/chapotraphouse userbase was transgender people, and that has remained the case on Hexbear. So we take transphobia extremely seriously here given how it is currently one of the safest spaces on the entire internet for trans people to hang out without worry of being targeted for harassment.

r/chapotraphouse's ban was a very high profile event on reddit when it happened. Previously the admins had chipped away at the sub in an attempt to stop its massive, rapid growth in user count. They removed our ability to ping users, and they quarantined us. At one point they even sacked our entire mod team and installed hand picked replacements. Despite that, we continued to grow. The admins were clearly afraid of the backlash that would come with an outright ban, so they also banned the empty husk of r/the_donald in order to pretend it was a "both sides are too extreme" type decision. That never held water considering r/the_donald was already dead after its userbase had moved to a reddit clone called thedonald.win. It was clear that the kill all slave owners thing was what ended up being the last straw.

Our subreddit had made a lot of enemies on reddit during the years it was active. So many that once this site started up a couple months after the ban, we experienced nearly daily raids from places like KiwiFarms and the transphobic harassment discords I mentioned. Ultimately we got rid of the downvote button because transphobic users abused it in order to anonymously express disapproval at the existence of trans people. Joke was on them in that they weren't aware that votes are not necessarily anonymous on lemmy.

Once the raiders got bored, and once we banned anyone who used the downvote button that way, things became pretty stable for us up until we finally federated. Now we're just trying to figure out how to balance federation with the maintenance of the same safe space we had built before.

[-] [email protected] 5 points 2 years ago

Sheesh! I had no idea it was this bad. I'm glad you lot have found (and are able to guard) a safe haven.

I have mixed feelings about you doxxing the shitforbrains when they downvote. One one hand, privacy is possibly the most important thing to me. On the other hand, screw those mother effers! They don't deserve to be on Lemmy anyway!

[-] [email protected] 14 points 2 years ago

Hexbear is a website ~~for having consensual gay sex with your dad~~

[-] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago

Um... What? I can't tell if I've found "that side" of the internet and you're serious, or if it's the "other side" and you're joking haha

[-] [email protected] 19 points 2 years ago

Sincere answer: hexbear is a big-tent left/socialist space that's aggressive in its defense of marginalized comrades and communities. We also make piss and shit jokes, and like the Citations Needed citations-needed podcast

[-] [email protected] 12 points 2 years ago
[-] [email protected] 15 points 2 years ago

Welcome! Here's your compulsory indoor cat and copy of combat liberalism.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago

I GET A CAT?!?!?! yeah, I'm not leaving.

[-] [email protected] 13 points 2 years ago

Yeah, the majority of people are either indifferent, vaguely supportive, or at worst slightly rude or dismissive of trans people day-to-day. But there’s a vocal minority who straight up will see a person who’s visibly gender non-conforming, have a bunch of propaganda flood into their mind about how trans people are pedophiles or whatever, and just instantly rage. And that vocal minority is more vocal and less of a minority online because it’s pseudo-anonymous and most forums are ran by cis people and therefore don’t take it seriously enough to ban aggressively.

The insta-rage is more of an issue in person in my experience. Especially if you’re in public with a child. I used to get in fights a lot in school, so I know the “I’m putting conscious willpower into not punching you in the face” look really well. And it’s terrifying to be walking into a store with your kids and see a dude 10 feet from you giving you that look as you walk by. Before I started transitioning, I’d never had anything like that happen, even from people who were regularly in fights. It’s the visible repression of the feeling that makes it look that much more unhinged.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago

I'd imagine it's a similar face to what I give people who try to intimidate me or my friends. Those who throw the first punch get the most trouble (except for in school). I dare them with the same look they're using on me haha

[-] [email protected] 21 points 2 years ago

I think you underestimate our ideological commitment. Remember, we once banned every single person who'd downvoted any post or comment on trans issues. And if we still had downvotes we'd do it again.

[-] [email protected] 16 points 2 years ago

It was for those with a pattern of down voting

[-] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago

I'd call it more of a mommabear protecting her young. Any tiny threat could lead to a larger threat, and, so, you treat it as a large threat before it escalates, therefore preventing the inevitable before it happens.

[-] [email protected] 14 points 2 years ago

nah we excise those types here.

Yes, don't let it get to you, but also, don't let it happen if you don't need to

[-] [email protected] 10 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

I can see excising for hate speech. And for trolling. But you do so for a downvote? Or did I misunderstand?

E: cosecantphi explained what's going on. I understand now.

[-] [email protected] 20 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

It's not "just a downvote" when it's clear they are targeting any and all posts on the comm specifically for and by trans people. It'd be absolutely ridiculous to think this is just a coincidence where they happened to find fault in literally all of those posts for reasons other than transphobia.

[-] [email protected] 17 points 2 years ago

Yeah. I read your longer comment from earlier and it all makes perfect sense now. Sorry for sounding daft. I just genuinely didn't understand the extent. Sorry this is happening to you peeps :(((

[-] [email protected] 17 points 2 years ago
[-] [email protected] 15 points 2 years ago

That's pretty!

I had a friend named Kira. She wasn't trans, though, so probably not you. She was cool. I miss her.

[-] [email protected] 13 points 2 years ago

Just so you know, this is a very refreshing attitude to see in terms of not understanding and then adjusting when it’s explained. I don’t know why it seems so rare to see, but it’s nice regardless.

[-] [email protected] 5 points 2 years ago

I adjusted from 'not understanding' to 'understanding'. I guess, I did do it without any preconceived notions and did it with an open mind. I mean, and I don't mean to sound like "that person", but, if I'm not mistaken, you're a human and deserve the same type and level of respect as the next human.

[-] [email protected] 9 points 2 years ago

We've been through this song and dance before, and know what we're doing. Read further through this post and you'll find a link I posted to a 3 year old thread detailing same/similar circumstances.

I agree with you on principle, you can't change what you can't control, but here we can control, and we don't need to accept others' slights

[-] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago

AND you can't fix stupid, but you CAN ban it!

[-] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago

You can also fix stupid, but they have to want to change. If it's someone drive-by-downvoting trans stuff, chances are they don't want to change.

[-] [email protected] 5 points 2 years ago

I would imagine that stupid can't be fixed, because they'd be too stupid to be fixed. Those that can be fixed, wouldn't be stupid, but, instead, lost or confused. That's my take, anyway. Maybe I'm wrong.

[-] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago

Ehh everyone's capable of learning to some degree or another, it's not hard to be a decent person if you want to be vivian-shrug

[-] [email protected] 6 points 2 years ago

That's true. If they want to change, and are willing to put in the work, they would be able to change. You have a nice view on the world, it seems, and I dig it.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Downvotes on Lemmy don’t mean anything

Does it not affect where the posts show up when sorting by Active or Top?

[-] [email protected] 6 points 2 years ago

Probably, but if everything is getting downvoted one vote, it would negate that effect overall. Still a dick move to downvote you because you're trans, though. If you disagree with a community, then, oh I don't know, leave?

this post was submitted on 07 Sep 2023
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