Hair is being a problem for me. Facial hair, I don't like shaving (painful) (bloody). Not shaving it also sucks (prickly little growths) (spiky). Trimming isn't really sufficient.
Also, chest hair is being an issue. I don't want to try to shave it (that would be another level of hell). Trimming also leaves behind spiky hair that stings.
Hair growth on my head is going nicely. I like it. Then I think about how I will need to go to my parents during the summer and I don't want them to know about my situation so I am going to have to keep my hair relatively short 
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I've also started thinking that I should lower the dose of my hormones to slow down feminization. At this rate, I won't be able to hide my chest growths even with a breast binder. My parents want me to be over for basically the entire summer and I don't have a good excuse to not go. How am I to live with them in the same house while still hiding my feminization? 
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There goes that plan
It would be such an asshole move to not go. My mom feels so lonely all the time because I'm not there.
It's an asshole move to give your daughter shit for growing out her hair and taking gender affirming care.
Don't adjust your transition goals for the people in your life. If they won't accept you, then they're not worth spending the summer with.
You aren't responsible for her. You aren't her parent. It's not your job to keep her happy. Also it sounds like a pretty asshole move to not accept her daughter for who she is, and to try and make her come over for an entire summer when she's out living her own life and being her own person.
i urge you to prioritise your own wellbeing over placating your mom.