this post was submitted on 23 Apr 2025
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Like, I really understand where this is coming and I see why it's that way. But I'm also really tired of being seen as a threat just because my way home seems to have some overlap. How do I react to make clear I'm not interested in rape, violence, stalking, whatever? I just want to get home to my dogs, there's no need to prepare your keys to gouge my eyes out.
In all seriousness, what are men supposed to do with this besides feel bad?
Or is that the point?
Speak up when you see other men being abusive jerks. Use peer pressure to improve the behavior instead of excusing it.
Be aware. I am a large, semi-muscular male, if I am walking down the street and there is a woman by herself I will slow down and give her space or cross to the other side of the road. It really doesn't take much.
Unfortunately, there's no one stop shop or one size fits all solution to this, I think. If there were, bad actors would abuse it and it wouldn't work anymore. If you're around people regularly and you'd like them to know you're no threat, getting to know them in a neighborly fashion might help a bit, but I'm afraid that in general we're just dealing with a mass erosion of trust in general.
Yes that's what the strange woman wants, the strange man she's afraid of by default to make contact with her.
Sarcasm aside, I do not and will not talk to strange women specifically because I know they're already uncomfortable and I don't want to make it worse, plus I'm likely busy myself.
Ditto: I literally take pubic transit to work every single day and every single time I hop off I hop off with these 2 other ladies, and they always pretend to check their bag so that I walk ahead of them and they can see me.
I totally understand why they do that but it still is just dehumanizing to me, specially after literal years of getting off at the same stop.
If it's the same two women every day then you could say hello and introduce yourself?
I think it would be weird to introduce myself to them, here in Canada you do not really talk to other people on the bus except maybe if youre going to another city and have literally nothing else to do
Also, what sort of monster wants to have a conversation with strangers on the morning commute? I'd rather not talk to anyone til at least mid afternoon.
I get where the replier is coming from but 100% where wi live if you chat with strangers on the bus you are being a monster.
When I see women do this around me, I feel a little glad for them that they don't need to do this and a little sad they don't (and really can't) know that they don't need to do this.
I understand feeling hurt that someone might be afraid of me, but that gets erased when I exercise a little empathy for that person who is afraid.
Run up to them, and announce that you don't intend to harm them and then ask where they live so you can safely escort them home.
This constant promotion of the sense of fear is one of the biggest ways we destroy any sense of local community.
But isn't that also true with snakes? All of the times that I've stumbled across copperheads or rattlesnakes, they've just wanted to do their thing, and go on their way. They didn't want to bite me. And 99.999% of the time, as long as you back off, the snake isn't going to do anything.
...Except there's that .001% of the time when a snake is going to chase someone, and attack them. And that makes everyone terrified of all snakes, because they never know which one is going to be that .001%.
It's understandable, but it's not fair, and yeah, it sucks to have people think you're a threat when you're trying hard not to be.