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[–] 116 points 1 year ago (20 children)

Like, I really understand where this is coming and I see why it's that way. But I'm also really tired of being seen as a threat just because my way home seems to have some overlap. How do I react to make clear I'm not interested in rape, violence, stalking, whatever? I just want to get home to my dogs, there's no need to prepare your keys to gouge my eyes out.

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  • [–] 35 points 1 year ago (4 children)

    Ditto: I literally take pubic transit to work every single day and every single time I hop off I hop off with these 2 other ladies, and they always pretend to check their bag so that I walk ahead of them and they can see me.

    I totally understand why they do that but it still is just dehumanizing to me, specially after literal years of getting off at the same stop.

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  • [–] 12 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    Unfortunately, there's no one stop shop or one size fits all solution to this, I think. If there were, bad actors would abuse it and it wouldn't work anymore. If you're around people regularly and you'd like them to know you're no threat, getting to know them in a neighborly fashion might help a bit, but I'm afraid that in general we're just dealing with a mass erosion of trust in general.

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  • [–] 12 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (4 children)

    Just avoid looking at anyone for longer than a second or two, but don't try to look like you are avoiding looking at anyone. If in close proximity, acknowledge their existence and then focus on something else. If they start conversing, reciprocate but do not try to keep the conversation going if it trails off. If they don't appear to open to a conversation and you are in close proximity, a small nod to indicate you noticed them and then changing your focus is a really good way to indicate you noticed them, but are not interested in interacting with them.

    This really puts victims at ease. I mean strangers. Yeah, strangers.

    Seriously though, just existing in the same space and not forcing interaction does put people at ease. Being overly friendly or acting like you are trying to avoid noticing their existence is suspicious for good reasons.

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  • [–] 11 points 1 year ago

    But isn't that also true with snakes? All of the times that I've stumbled across copperheads or rattlesnakes, they've just wanted to do their thing, and go on their way. They didn't want to bite me. And 99.999% of the time, as long as you back off, the snake isn't going to do anything.

    ...Except there's that .001% of the time when a snake is going to chase someone, and attack them. And that makes everyone terrified of all snakes, because they never know which one is going to be that .001%.

    It's understandable, but it's not fair, and yeah, it sucks to have people think you're a threat when you're trying hard not to be.

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    [–] 110 points 1 year ago (4 children)

    That'd work until you happen to get a reptile enthusiast on the show that can recognize the species, at which point you just have a show of a guy completely missing the point whilst nerding out over snakes.

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  • [–] 25 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    Not a reptile enthusiast, but knowledgeable enough to know a few things about them.

    A well fed snake, hell most snakes (not all, some constrictors you don't want to fuck with) won't see a human as food, and won't attack unless provoked. Don't sneak up on a snake, don't step on a snake, don't harass a snake and it won't give 2 fucks about your presence.

    A venomous snake usually (there's always an exception) has a "neck", if you can see where it's head ends and it's body begins it's more likely venomous than it's danger noodle looking counterpart.

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    [+] 69 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (4 children)
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    [–] 51 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    I understand the problem people have with men and more specifically toxic masculinity, but this gender wars bullshit only serves to further separate people. What's the purpose of saying "men are rapists" or "men are violent"? It's fine in the context of venting/talking with people facing similar problems, but because it entirely misses the sociological causes, it can cause people come to incorrect conclusions like "kill all men" or "all men are inherently bad because..." which essentialises their gender.

    Men aren't inherently bad. It's patriarchy and toxic masculinity that you should be upset at - two sides of the same coin, really.

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    [–] 47 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    This gender war identity politics shit is just key jingling to distract the masses from the fact that the new robber barons are simultaneously fleecing everyone's retirement and inserting a knife into our collective kidneys.

    Glad to see a lot of comments just ain't falling for it.

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    [–] 42 points 1 year ago (10 children)

    Didn't we learn as children that stereotypes are bad and hurtful? Like why is this one an acceptable thing to lump all men together under the same group? The rhetoric rarely makes a distinction. It lazily doors not differentiate the different problem groups within that and stops at blanket statements that cover more people who aren't the issues than are.

    When you treat an entire gender as the enemy, stop being surprised when the young men are increasingly not acting like allies.

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  • [–] 17 points 1 year ago

    The power of rhetoric being forgotten is probably my chief criticism of the “purity test” wing of the left. Perfect being enemy of the good is very lost on people who seem not to want to acknowledge that even things they don’t like might have nuance.

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    [–] 40 points 1 year ago* (8 children)
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    [–] 39 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (4 children)

    Guess we should fear all snakes then! Or all sharks! That hasn't lead to extreme fear based reactions where entire populations suffered because of fear due to a portion of the population being potentially dangerous.

    The point about not knowing which one might be dangerous is a good point, but example is terrible. Use unsafe mechanical equipment or something instead.

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    [–] 33 points 1 year ago

    Reminds me of when Donald Trump Jr. compared Syrian refugees to a bowl of M&Ms with some of them poisoned. Same argument, same mindset.

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  • [–] 29 points 1 year ago

    So we're fixing the division along gender lines by becoming... more divided?

    Feels like the insinuation here is that, as a woman, it's acceptable to base your personality on men as long as you believe all men base their personalities on hating women.

    Maybe just accept that humans are complicated and nuanced and you can't judge an entire gender based on the actions of the worst members of that gender.

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  • [–] 27 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    I'm going to ignore the most heinous aspects of this and just say, I'd love to be introduced to a variety of venomous and non-venomous snakes and would likely find it to be a pretty cool experience. Snakes are neat and the venomous ones are often beautiful and fascinating.

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    [+] 21 points 1 year ago (32 children)
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    [–] 15 points 1 year ago

    That's snakist.

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  • [–] 13 points 1 year ago (7 children)

    It's pretty easy to tell the difference between venomous and non-venomous snakes.

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    [–] 13 points 1 year ago

    Honestly these comments are giving me hope that people are being sensible.

    Too often in leftists spaces the conversation is dominated by the loudest voices taking the most extreme black and white position. Which just pushes makes the culture war nonsense worse.

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