i'm almost 50 transfemme and just started HRT last year so i have residual testosterone effects at my hair line and crown. i super sympathize, hair issues (too much here, too little there) are my only real source of dysphoria.

here's what i have to offer:

it looks worse in photos than irl, i have verified this with mirrors and from people i trust. The camera is HARSH. A little mirror on the back wall of my bathroom so i can see the back and top of my head in the big mirror helps a lot.

It looks worst when wet, and not great when oily or limp.

things that really helped me:

growing it out, the longer it gets the less noticeable it is.

volumizing shampoo really helps.

my hair stylist dyed my hair blonde and it reduced the contrast between the pink scalp and brown hair a LOT. My bald spot has gotten smaller but even when it was pretty big (to me) this helped significantly for me.

i learned that femme hair brushing is different than masc, you brush forwards a lot farther forward on your skull as a femme, and this means there's more hair to brush backwards and over your spot.

Combined this leads to thick fluffy hair going backwards and not contrasting, and thick fluffy hair going forwards to cover the jagged hairline

puffy headbands: i wear these a lot, every day just about. In addition to keeping the brushed hair in the right place they add volume at the top of your head, when seen straight on the thinner hair up top can make your hair look less full on the top but the puffy headband does a little optical trick and it looks like it's the headband squashing your hair and not like you have less. They are also really feminizing and i like matching them to my outfits.

With all of these combined i end up loving my hair and silhouette. The only thing i'm not super keen on is swimming but 🤷🏼‍♀️ can't win em all and fuck the haters swim dresses are so nice i do it anyway.

also: idk how much this actually helps but i also take folic acid and biotin supplements and try very hard to get my daily rda of protein. might just be making my pee expensive idk. I also got one of those silicone shampoo head stimulator things and use it when showering to stimulate the scalp and i use a rosemary hair mask once a week instead of conditioner. I'm really pulling out all the stops cuz i'm so old.

here's a pic my wife made (of a hair model) to explain the brushing thing to my girlfriend and I, we were both brushing forward from a couple inches behind the red line as that is how we had always learned to style our masc hair. my hair is straight but I put the headbands about where the vertical red line is and the hair is all brushed backwards from there covering the spot. You may already know all this but it might help other girls!