Here's to a new year! Here's my first mega try (also first time posting in a while due to reasons) but heya! Admittedly struggled a fair bit with self doubt and anxiety on this one as put it off for a while/other things caught up with me but I figure I'll be glad I did it once I've done it. It's kinda being done last minute though, so admittedly there's that...
I'd been intending to make the mega about something else originally when I signed up, but that would require more time on my part (and I just binge read this recently, so it all works out). Anyways, my subject of the week is The Summer Hikaru Died; it's a queer (BL) horror manga which is currently also scheduled for anime release next year (2025).
Content warnings naturally follow and further details will be spoilered.
CONTENT WARNINGS
Grief, body horror and (very debatably IMO) mild gore, supernatural horror (ghosts/"impurities", otherworldly entities), death I suppose though that one's a given
Premise
The titular Hikaru went for a walk in the woods, died, and something came back wearing his body, something that doesn't quite know how to be human or mortal; "Hikaru" returned, to ensure that his best friend, Yoshiki, would not be lonely. Romantic tension (and tension of a less pleasant kind) ensues.
The plot/things I like about it thus far (light spoilers)
Yoshiki and "Hikaru" have an absolutely great dynamic- their relationship may not be fully healthy, but their intentions seem to both be in the right place, as are their deep feelings (Yoshiki's for Hikaru and increasingly for "Hikaru," and Hikaru and "Hikaru's" own true feelings) and honesty in this regard, despite the latter "Hikaru" being effectively an imposter of sorts. (it's complicated, but these are increasingly distinguished separately and I really like that process as well)
"Hikaru" is, while not quite a blank slate, extremely new to the concept of even just "being" in the sense that mortal creatures and individual organisms(?) do. They've had to learn (and Yoshiki has had to confront them about) the value and significance of life and death; they've increasingly established boundaries, and they approach the world with a liveliness and curiousity that is really cute (the original Hikaru was also lively FWIW, but "Hikaru" is experiencing everything anew even if they retain the memories).
Yoshiki, on the other hand, is both grappling with his grief and loss of Hikaru, while finding comfort (and discomfort alike) in his imposter, and in guiding them through a new world or state of being. He's finding his resolve and moral/ethical backbone interacting with "Hikaru" (very blue-and-orange morality dynamics, though they're learning), he's experiencing what could be described as a rocky but determined romance and queer experimentation at the same time "Hikaru" is being introduced to notions of attraction and desire (beyond instinctual desire to consume).
Their pairing in so many ways should not work (or rather would be usually destined for a tragic end). From the start, there have been several points where by all means it should have met such an end. But their determination and willingness to meet the other where they're at and gradually be understanding with the other is both fascinating and something I'd feel optimistic for (and interested in seeing play out further).
Anyways, I should cut myself short at this (and make sure to have something properly written beforehand for next time). But anyways, thus far it's a strong recommend (if you feel alright with the content warnings) from me.
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As a reminder, please do not discuss current struggle sessions in the mega. We want this to be a little oasis for all of us and the best way to do that is not to feed into existing conflict on the site.
Also, be sure to properly give content warnings and put sensitive subjects behind proper spoiler tags. It's for the mental health of not just your comrades, but yourself as well.
Here is a screenshot of where to find the spoiler button.
incredibly nsfw, absolute filth, there ought to be a law
I will say though, seriously, even if you don't have any terms for your body that you like, (which is very understandable honestly) you should internally jettison all the bad and nasty and cisnormative terms from your brain. It helps, the difference is startling.
On the one hand this shouldn't be surprising at all - like, of course automatically referring to myself and my body with terms in the framework of "man" is deeply unpleasant, right? But it takes a long time to dig that shit out, so I hadn't really. My internal monologue and thought processes would just kinda stop whenever certain subjects came up... but now it's like Well, my brain is so much goddamn happier not selecting from a vocabulary of terms that pigeonholes my body as "male". Seriously, thank fuck!
I know not everyone puts that much stock into terminology, and if the standard issue terms work then don't let anyone stop you brandishing them. If you find things distressing the way I did though, you should consider some alternatives.
(Yes I know this is like the fifth time I post about this, but the good vibes from it continue to surprise me)
related, kinda nsfw, body part terminology
Using some trans femme/enby slang terms for body parts has been really a noticeable improvement for me mentally not feeling gross about myself in a lewd setting(sorry if weird but I adore the term "hen" for uh, that body part for a not-guy and think it's rly cute)
((also "þussy" as thussy))
sorry if weird or tmi
lfg
I'm a big fan of EVERY cool alternate trans term for any body part honestly, it can be a little weird but I dig hearing about em. I'm not cool enough to use rad ones like "hen" or "aubergine" but fuck yeah! It's startling to me how much of cisnormativity is rooted in the language we use...I snorted lol, awesome
This is kind of weird gross but I don't think any less of you for it. I... just... why... I do not relate to this post. I would not. You can do it if it makes you happy though tbh. If not then uh, stop that!
I didn't reply after your comment that was spoilered "lfg" btw and no jury could convict me and I wouldn't reveal any details of the non-existent comment if you ripped all my fingernails off jfc what is wrong with me, I'm so sorryAAAAAAA sorry for being weird and cringe
Well now I can't even look again
I guess my main problem was I couldn't discern tone, you had a couple different cw's on there to the point I couldn't really tell what I'm meant to feel? Some of the subject matter also doesn't seem that pleasant to me... It was a weird post but "cringe" was the furthest thing from my mind when reading it, I apologise, I'm sorry. You shouldn't feel bad over it...
spoiler
The tongue-in-cheek-evopsych thing is throwing me for a loop, which is for sure down to my being autistic but I'm sorry I reacted in a way that made you feel bad.So like a biological justification thing, okay. I mean I guess, does every behaviour and thing about a species serve and evolutionary purpose? Is that a Darwinian thing? Doesn't help that "reproductive" matters are maximum squick for me, so my thought capacity is low. I do remember things along this line from the image board though, it felt like "appealing to science" or whatever for a grounded, INDISPUTABLE reason (of science) for our existence would put us on equal validity footing with cis people. Bonus points if you have dysphoria around like, conception, pregnancy, reproduction generally.
Yes, they are, I would not date a cis person and they are useless to me romantically. End of story
What about that huh, what then? I am trans because that is how I am and it's rad, I am t4t because cisgender people are A) cowards and B) less cool, and it's rad. It's evolutionarily advantageous because I'm not cis, which would be the real cringe.
If you're wasted that does make sense, but otherwise it's fine, y'know. You didn't have to explain yourself to me although I do appreciate the insight. You are not being cringe and I'm sorry I made you feel like you are. I'm not trying to socially ostracise you over your hangups...
spoiler
I hate not having vocabularyspoiler
Yeah, it's harder to rename when you hate it