Here's to a new year! Here's my first mega try (also first time posting in a while due to reasons) but heya! Admittedly struggled a fair bit with self doubt and anxiety on this one as put it off for a while/other things caught up with me but I figure I'll be glad I did it once I've done it. It's kinda being done last minute though, so admittedly there's that...
I'd been intending to make the mega about something else originally when I signed up, but that would require more time on my part (and I just binge read this recently, so it all works out). Anyways, my subject of the week is The Summer Hikaru Died; it's a queer (BL) horror manga which is currently also scheduled for anime release next year (2025).
Content warnings naturally follow and further details will be spoilered.
CONTENT WARNINGS
Grief, body horror and (very debatably IMO) mild gore, supernatural horror (ghosts/"impurities", otherworldly entities), death I suppose though that one's a given
Premise
The titular Hikaru went for a walk in the woods, died, and something came back wearing his body, something that doesn't quite know how to be human or mortal; "Hikaru" returned, to ensure that his best friend, Yoshiki, would not be lonely. Romantic tension (and tension of a less pleasant kind) ensues.
The plot/things I like about it thus far (light spoilers)
Yoshiki and "Hikaru" have an absolutely great dynamic- their relationship may not be fully healthy, but their intentions seem to both be in the right place, as are their deep feelings (Yoshiki's for Hikaru and increasingly for "Hikaru," and Hikaru and "Hikaru's" own true feelings) and honesty in this regard, despite the latter "Hikaru" being effectively an imposter of sorts. (it's complicated, but these are increasingly distinguished separately and I really like that process as well)
"Hikaru" is, while not quite a blank slate, extremely new to the concept of even just "being" in the sense that mortal creatures and individual organisms(?) do. They've had to learn (and Yoshiki has had to confront them about) the value and significance of life and death; they've increasingly established boundaries, and they approach the world with a liveliness and curiousity that is really cute (the original Hikaru was also lively FWIW, but "Hikaru" is experiencing everything anew even if they retain the memories).
Yoshiki, on the other hand, is both grappling with his grief and loss of Hikaru, while finding comfort (and discomfort alike) in his imposter, and in guiding them through a new world or state of being. He's finding his resolve and moral/ethical backbone interacting with "Hikaru" (very blue-and-orange morality dynamics, though they're learning), he's experiencing what could be described as a rocky but determined romance and queer experimentation at the same time "Hikaru" is being introduced to notions of attraction and desire (beyond instinctual desire to consume).
Their pairing in so many ways should not work (or rather would be usually destined for a tragic end). From the start, there have been several points where by all means it should have met such an end. But their determination and willingness to meet the other where they're at and gradually be understanding with the other is both fascinating and something I'd feel optimistic for (and interested in seeing play out further).
Anyways, I should cut myself short at this (and make sure to have something properly written beforehand for next time). But anyways, thus far it's a strong recommend (if you feel alright with the content warnings) from me.
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As a reminder, please do not discuss current struggle sessions in the mega. We want this to be a little oasis for all of us and the best way to do that is not to feed into existing conflict on the site.
Also, be sure to properly give content warnings and put sensitive subjects behind proper spoiler tags. It's for the mental health of not just your comrades, but yourself as well.
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maybe some internalized enby-phobia?
I’m very much in that, “it’s very valid for everyone else but not for me” mindset rn. Not to mention it seems like most “he/him lesbians” I’ve seen are AFAB, which I know isn’t necessary but seems to be seen as more acceptable. Something to work through. I would feel very uncomfortable calling myself a lesbian in the presence of cis lesbians at the very least.spoiler
yeah, not trying to scold you or anything but to be frank your focus on AGAB regarding this seems like it could be a sign of some internalised transphobia getting in the way. not to get too far into the weeds but my take is more or less, if you aren't a cis man you can be a dyke, if you feel like one. there are no hard and fast rules other than that one despite what tiktok kids might say. for my part, I identify strongly with being a dyke despite being very much NB/kinda agender and not really caring for the term "woman" for myself. It's a fine term of convenience for cissies to use on me but I don't really fit the mold. but I am happily and confidently a dyke. it's not a contradiction.
i wish you all the best with overcoming any hangups that may or may not be stopping you IDing how you want to. 💜 there is no easy fix but exposure to others bending the rules of gender can help as well as maybe looking into some queer theory, someone like Leslie Feinberg definitely needs a mention here.
Nb dykes gang
Sorry I just feel sometimes like I'm the only motherfucker who says and uses DYKE so this was very gratifying to read, ty. Being a dyke fuckin rules
gang
yeah, glad you saw this! you're def one of the only people on here i see using it. it's a term i feel describes me perfectly and makes me very happy:)
spoiler
Thank you! I agree it’s some internalized transphobia. I’ve already read Feinberg though. I don’t think it’s a lack of theory. Just trans TikTok brainworms that I’ve been slowly consuming uncritically. Need to break them down and get rid of them.understandable. you're over a big hurdle by being able to recognise the brainworms anyway, you seem to be very well equipped to work on combatting them. i know how it goes... again, wish you all the best. the dialectic is ever in motion!