chapotraphouse

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submitted 3 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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23 second vid at the link.

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[–] [email protected] 50 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

Imagining a lower-tier executive feeling threatened and calling this hotline only to be told they don't qualify for its services.

[–] [email protected] 36 points 3 weeks ago

"Help! Active shooter! I'm the VP of sales for—..."

"VP level executives do not qualify. I'm sorry. Dial 911."

"Fucking help me!"

"I'm sorry. You do not qualify. Dial 911. Nuance calls on this CEO line will result in a penalty fee and a note in your HR file."

[–] [email protected] 29 points 3 weeks ago

“Sir, please call back when your company has annual revenues over $5 million.”

[–] [email protected] 21 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

even if you're a CEO, what's the annual revenue of your company? how many employees does your company have to have?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Lol yeah, I can work by myself and call myself ceo. Most of LinkedIn does already.