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her,,, expolde
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back at work today so i'll make this "quick"
someone mentioned it, i searched it out, it's https://theanarchistlibrary.org/library/vikky-storm-the-gender-accelerationist-manifesto (CW mentions of SV) this. I think all my remaining unspoken questions from yesterday are answered by this document. damn it's good. i haven't read it all yet, but I got through a bunch of it last night instead of being worried about going back to work.
possibly sad thoughts about work, but maybe they're also deep or cringe too, so that could be fun
also, i've been thinking about my job. i get upset quite often at work since i deal with a lot of people, and a lot of ambiguity (in retrospect, this isn't an easy position for an ND). it used to really get to me because I think I was taking every incorrect thing I did personally, and of course I obsess over every conversation ("what did they mean?!" "why did I say that?!" "why can't I do this?")I put on my jeans and hoodie this morning, dressing more masc than I think I want to work towards, but knowing that seeming more "masc" probably makes me "fit the role" of the stereotypical tech bro more. I'm not that sad about this - even if the clothes are a bit masc, I'm still wearing them in a femme way, so I would actually call it "subversive," not "regressive." In addition, my hair is cute now, so I probably won't turn my camera on for a couple days until I really get used to it, but when I do I wonder how people will react.
I've been thinking about those unmasking videos from a_lilian a lot. I was thinking about their story of going to a fancy event and dressing up, and how they felt like they were "sneaking in." Adopting this mindset seems to be helping me - I don't fill the role very well, but somehow I still get paid. Thinking of myself as a thief coming to steal a paycheque in response for doing my special interests in their general direction makes me feel cool af.
Maybe I too, once I get found out, won't take it personally, but will just slink off to the next job.
I've been struggling with the feeling that I'm "getting away with something" for this job, since I've made it very ND friendly, but I do work hard too when needed, and maybe this shift in mindset is what I need. I suspect that the CEOs of every company feel like bank robbers too, as well as everyone else who works these bullshit jobs. Maybe I was the only one taking it seriously?
Either way, I feel a lot more confident today.
gender accelerator, mentions of some heavy stuff in the link above, and spoilers for One Piece's Water Seven arc for some reason
when the author was talking about SV being the structure that maintains gender, it finally clicked to me why the One Piece anime's focus on the crowd turning on the Straw Hats at Water Seven (when they get accused of shooting Iceberg) made me so angry.I've had crowds turn on me before, and I admit a part of my thought they were sheep, can't think for themselves, etc. Without realizing it, I was looking down on NTs for their "herd mentality."
I see it differently now - the violence is implicit in these scenes too, and while no one says "confirm or die," I think NTs understand the implicit threat behind standing up against a crowd, something I only just realized.
This one probably didn't make much sense, but I'm nearly out of time so I can't develop it further, sorry, maybe more thoughts later.
Another gender abolitionist is born, unlimited deletion upon the gender binary. Glad it was productive for you!
Also uncritical support to "getting away with" making your job ND friendly.
not only did hexbear post twice but the exact second I went to fix a final typo, my laptop keyboard stopped working. The trackpad still works though!
I'm on my phone now lol. I had a work meeting too when it happened so I was trying to track pad my way to saving the post since I was was getting a spinning bear.
Its a relatively new laptop
Absolutely brutal, my apologies..