The photo is a 1974 photo of Leslie Feinberg, from the FBI file on hir. I've written a piece on my interpretation of Transgender Warriors and Trans Liberation, but I don't think it's quite polished enough, so I'll post it later. Instead, I'll go over hir FBI file: https://s3.amazonaws.com/NARAprodstorage/lz/dc-metro/rg-065/6282555/Batch0010/6282555_100-HQ-480756.PDF.
The FBI thought Feinberg could be violating the Communist Control Act, advocating the overthrow of the government, and engaging in rebellion. Needless to say, a hero to all of us. Feinberg was a member of the Workers World Party (the party still exists, but more notably PSL split from it), which apparently wasn't openly advocating for the overthrow of the U.S, they just think it's inevitable.
My favorite line? "captioned subject is believed to be a white female, who became male through some kind of sex change operation, and is possibly homosexual". Some interesting language choice, and it's an interesting snapshot into the evolution of Leslie's identity.
The FBI found Leslie's place of birth and birthdate from public school records. It's a bit of an interesting look into all of the many places the FBI can get their information, along with how information like that was so much more patchwork before the digital age.
"Interview of subject is not being recommended because of the questionable nature of his sexuality". Hmm, interesting.
It's interesting how their investigation spanned multiple cities, from Kansas City to NYC to Bufffalo to Boston. It probably involved quite a few officers, though I'm sure it wasn't the main focus for all of them.
There's some interesting mention about changes in Leslie's gender identity. Born a girl, for a time wearing a beard and mustache, then going back to "she". I'm sure we all know, Feinberg's gender didn't stop evolving there.
"Subject reportedly contributes all extra money to WWP", Leslie definitely was dedicated to the cause. Leslie doesn't attend NYC WWP meetings, but the FBI doesn't mention why.
The FBI isn't immune to typoes, Leslie did some "criminal terspass" that garnered some attention.They wasted some time checking if Leslie was in Boston, but verified where Leslie in NYC lived by pretending to be a part of the Voter Registration Commission.
There's a whole 43 pages of documents, all just from 1974-75. There's plenty of interesting tidbits in there, so maybe check it out.
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autism, Buddhism, dissociation, trauma but no cws
I realized something. It’s probable I wasn’t simply unable to cry due to T. The explanation feminists gave for why men can’t cry was that they were repressing it, and I’m like “I don’t repress anything gender related, it’s probably just biology. Yeah, some dudes cry frequently, don’t know what’s up with them.” Well, what if I was “repressing” something else: gross overstimulation.I always been out of tune with my body. I remember years ago a friend was like “my mental health’s getting bad, I’m dissociating.” “What’s that?” “definition” “It sounds like I do that,” I said. “That’s like really bad.” “Maybe not,” shrugs I have had various autistic meltdowns over the years and I didn’t understand why that was the only time I could cry. Sometimes it was obvious why it felt so bad, sometimes trivial things were triggers.
I’ve made it through the past few years primarily by heavily fixating on communism. I almost never thought about my body, I was just a vessel for knowledge. It’s a good coping mechanism but can also get very escapist. I rarely thought about my needs or social presence.
Over the past months not only did I try hormone blockers which made my mind much clearer and loud for better or worse, I’ve done a decent bit of meditation. More than an ADHDer would expect to be able to do, but not that much. I realized my out of touchness with my body and obsessed over certain new sensations I hadn’t noticed before. Now that I am overstimulated every day and also being mindful, the pain in my stomach isn’t just a thing I occasionally notice and pin on a random factor, I cannot ignore it, and end up melting down.
Non-dual practitioners talk about how as they moved along the path they find things they didn’t realize they hid from themselves and cannot hide when things go against their nature. Trans people also note something like this as they attain a body more in line with their mind. There are autists saying they forget how to function at first once they unmask. It seems difficult to go on like this, but I’m not turning back. I still don’t have or wish for much of an ego. Maybe that’s what gives people the illusion of meaning, but I want to die before I die so I can live. Maybe hrt will help me get more in tune with my body, who knows.
So yeah, I thought I didn’t have any trauma but it seems like every autist has to.