The photo is a 1974 photo of Leslie Feinberg, from the FBI file on hir. I've written a piece on my interpretation of Transgender Warriors and Trans Liberation, but I don't think it's quite polished enough, so I'll post it later. Instead, I'll go over hir FBI file: https://s3.amazonaws.com/NARAprodstorage/lz/dc-metro/rg-065/6282555/Batch0010/6282555_100-HQ-480756.PDF.
The FBI thought Feinberg could be violating the Communist Control Act, advocating the overthrow of the government, and engaging in rebellion. Needless to say, a hero to all of us. Feinberg was a member of the Workers World Party (the party still exists, but more notably PSL split from it), which apparently wasn't openly advocating for the overthrow of the U.S, they just think it's inevitable.
My favorite line? "captioned subject is believed to be a white female, who became male through some kind of sex change operation, and is possibly homosexual". Some interesting language choice, and it's an interesting snapshot into the evolution of Leslie's identity.
The FBI found Leslie's place of birth and birthdate from public school records. It's a bit of an interesting look into all of the many places the FBI can get their information, along with how information like that was so much more patchwork before the digital age.
"Interview of subject is not being recommended because of the questionable nature of his sexuality". Hmm, interesting.
It's interesting how their investigation spanned multiple cities, from Kansas City to NYC to Bufffalo to Boston. It probably involved quite a few officers, though I'm sure it wasn't the main focus for all of them.
There's some interesting mention about changes in Leslie's gender identity. Born a girl, for a time wearing a beard and mustache, then going back to "she". I'm sure we all know, Feinberg's gender didn't stop evolving there.
"Subject reportedly contributes all extra money to WWP", Leslie definitely was dedicated to the cause. Leslie doesn't attend NYC WWP meetings, but the FBI doesn't mention why.
The FBI isn't immune to typoes, Leslie did some "criminal terspass" that garnered some attention.They wasted some time checking if Leslie was in Boston, but verified where Leslie in NYC lived by pretending to be a part of the Voter Registration Commission.
There's a whole 43 pages of documents, all just from 1974-75. There's plenty of interesting tidbits in there, so maybe check it out.
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Am I the only one that has a lot of trouble figuring out what my stomach is telling me? I can’t tell if I’m anxious atm or just have residual overstimulation. Who knows, I could be hungry.
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I thankfully eat reasonably well by habit at general times, but it’s insane how sometimes my stomach can never feel full (but maybe it’s just under stimulation) and other times I’m never hungry.I suspect this is a major reason my neurodivergences were able to hide themselves from me for so long.
(This is given the assumption that most people can tell what they need without a bunch of labels and ponderance.
my wife has this, her psychologist has told her it's an autism thing and not understanding internal states well
Yeah I know that, I just wonder how common it is at least here.
It can depend for me. I have the not knowing I am hungry if I'm upset or something heavy going on. But some days I'll eat a meal and still feel hungry, can depend a lot on mental states or how tired I am.
Yup exactly.
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Btw, finally understanding what my miserable overstimulation is telling me, I have done what I said I wouldn’t: I have fled class for the park (albeit legally and after trying to do what I’m supposed to in class).Enjoy the solitude it can help a lot ^^
Indeed. The pain is not gone, but I can feel that it is no longer increasing, and sensory stimuli are preferable if imperfect. I feel like Sartre’s “hell is other people” is even more true for us.
Oh for sure it can be lol I enjoy people when it is comfortable but a lot isn't and the more uncomfortable I am the more difficult the interaction can be. I am an introvert naturally and do need downtime. It can be hard to acknowledge this at times too so overstimulation and stress can build easily. Always be mindful on your own needs.
I like people and when I’m in a never shutting up mood it’s great. Unfortunately, my poor interoception means in that mood I can go for days and not notice my social battery draining, and when I leave the situation I crash. Then, when I’m (mentally) done socializing, being repeatedly bothered into talking is the most dreadful thing in the world. I’m getting a bit better at assessing my needs over time. I guess that’s the thing with neurodevelopmental disorders. NTs simply do certain things automatically while we can over time get better at imitating that behavior with effort.
Depends on how much you mask too and how much you mirror or imitate. I tend to not do much I have my own personality and self but I do need to feel comfortable to feel I can open up. I can chat for hours when I'm comfortable in person.
I tend to feel interaction on my social battery though it can be worse when I've been in an uncomfortable space for a while, say a group where I'd end up vocally shutting down and be talked around and over. I'd end up an observer and feel pushed out. So it can be fairly taxing on both ends of the scale. Very dependent on who I'm interacting with.
Totally. I have never masked at all. I only like socializing when I don’t necessarily have to follow all the social rules. When I don’t have to shut up. Of course you can’t do that with everyone, so I’m just pretty quiet when I’m not comfortable to. There is often a delay, but when my social battery is really dead I simply have no motivation to talk and an aversion to being talked to, so it’s not hard to tell.
When I’m not part of a group (usually) it’s impossible to get a word in and it sucks to have something to say and not be able to say it. On the other hand, most social occasions where I have not been an outsider pretty much everyone has ADHD and are talking over each other anyway.
Yeah I don't mask which can make it difficult for people at times too or at least I get that impression. I also don't get motivation to talk when I'm low battery or very tired out.
Funnily enough I haven't really interacted with many people with ADHD in person, I have interacted with some people that may have some neurodiversity but none that know of it. I'm usually more subdued in those situations where I'd just be ignored or what not or never spoken with. Depends, most people I've interacted with irl don't try to talk to me like as we are talking now, I'd get maybe a sentence from them and then I'd be ignored for hours at a time sometimes. Depends a lot on who I'm interacting with really.. a lot don't want to know me or try to talk to me, even online so it is hard to gauge. Can be hard to describe it but I am capable of discussion but rarely get the opportunity irl to have any from other people
It sucks seeing a possible opportunity for a connection and simply not being able to come up with a way to carry it out in a way that’s not very awkward and ineffectual. If nothing else, I know I’m interesting, but many people aren’t interesting or interested.
Can be very frustrating to not get the opportunity for whatever reason.
Just realized I’ve spent like an hour and a half of my park time effort posting rather than being mindful. It’s fine, I don’t regret it. It’s an effective coping mechanism and school is too distracting to be comfortably online. I finally calmed down enough to enjoy my lunch, and I should hopefully be able to enjoy biking and plant watering later.
Glad it helped some regardless if you were posting or not, sometimes the environment can be of help c:
I feel like this is better than bottling it up for longer and crashing and being online in my bed for the rest of the day, even if I’m still a little off.
Trying to get in some positive stimulation or even just breathing while or after having one’s senses assaulted is like bailing buckets of water from a sinking boat.
Definitely better but do take breaks if you need to, no harm in zoning out and just relaxing to let off steam if you can.
I spend every moment I can trying to relax in school. Difficulty relaxing is actually an ADHD symptom. My mom told me the only time she relaxes is while watching tv. All the times it seems like my neurodivergences kinda limit each other I am not ready when they team up (against me). I’m still somewhat agitated tbh. Just less than I was.
Hopefully the agitation will lessen as the day moves forward
It should a bit. There are more at least somewhat relaxing things I can do that I was too burnt out to yesterday. I actually went to bed and woke up agitated, so I hopefully can spend my evening better this time.
For me, I usually can't tell if I'm hungry. But if I'm tired, I assume I'm calorie deficient. But either I didn't get enough sleep or I did a lot of physical exercise and my muscles just need a break, but my brain can't really tell the difference. I think Im usually self-aware if I'm just eating for emotional reasons?
Yeah same. Sometimes I have obsessed about what I’m doing wrong that I feel tired, but honestly it’s largely internal for me. I go through phases where no matter how much sleep I get or food I eat or exercise I’m always tired. Others I don’t need much sleep or food and my motor doesn’t stop. There are definitely times where I am simply bored and nihilistic and I’m like “why not ill at least get some dopamine from the food.”
Edit: this probably has to do with the autism social battery honestly